


drenched

by naboojakku



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Age Play, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben and Rey are both deeply immersed in misogyny in case that wasn't clear, Ben doesn't understand personal space, Ben is 32, Bisexual Poe Dameron, Biting, Breathplay, Come Swallowing, Complete, DD/LG vibes, Darkfic, Deepthroating, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Face Slapping, Food Issues, Forced Orgasm, Gaslighting, Gay Sex, Grooming, Hand Jobs in a Car, Happy Halloween hoes, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Incest, Infantilism, Internalized Misogyny, Kidnapping, Loss of Virginity, Massage, Mention of Extreme Underage, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Possessive Ben Solo, Praise Kink, Pregnancy Kink, Pregnant Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rey is 16, Rey is a major spoiled brat, Rey’s really into it lol, Rough Sex, Sexual Coercion, Smut, Talk of Pregnancy, Teen Pregnancy, Uncle/Niece Incest, Underage Sex, dub con, established Poe/Kaydel, forced blowjob, just a bit, mention of miscarriage, non con, predatory behavior, they're the type to get excited about gender reveal parties sigh, thin on plot let's be real, this story is so wild oof, uh yeah this was inspired by actual porn yup, use of pacifiers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:47:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 78,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25117876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naboojakku/pseuds/naboojakku
Summary: Uncle Ben ruins his niece’s expensive phone, but he promises to make it up to her.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 257
Kudos: 547





	1. open season

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **yet another fic with pool shenangians for no reason at all**

Standing all alone at the edge of the diving board, Rey carefully considered her options. 

Jump—the obvious solution. But that would involve falling from a dizzying height, and she wasn’t sure she had the stomach for that. Go back down the ladder—the sensible solution. But all she could imagine in her mind’s eye was a cowering dog with its ears flat, tail tucked between its legs. This image spoke of humiliation, failure, disappointment. 

That left option three. Phone a friend—a middle-ground solution. 

Rey’s fears subsided. Yes, that would work—she could save face. Her eyes quickly combed through the crowd on the patio. She singled out her best friend with ease; she was the only teenager still wearing a one-piece bathing suit. 

“Rose!” she called, stretching out her hands. “Jump with me!”

Rose’s round face brightened, and she eagerly skipped over to the pool. “Okay, babe!” 

Rey stifled her laughter as her friend pranced over, busty chest drawing stares from several older male family members. Rose was the only person she knew who could make men drool while also sporting—quite fashionably—a frilly, polka-dotted one-piece. Ah, the duality of women. 

Rose reached for her outstretched hands, but their fingertips only brushed before someone shot out of the crowd and barrelled into Rose. She screamed, and they hit the water with an enormous splash. Seconds later she burst to the surface, gasping and spluttering. 

“What the hell!” 

Beside her, treading water with his trademark smirk, was Armie Hux. 

“What was that for?” Rose barked, seething. But Rey could tell she was pleased; her cheeks were flushed, and she playfully swatted water at him. 

Rey barely controlled her eye roll. Hux was in his twenties, and she’d always found his crush on Rose a little unsettling. He didn’t seem like a particularly kind or pleasant person, yet for whatever reason he was obviously half in love with her best friend. 

Rose adamantly refused to acknowledge this crush or the fact that she might have feelings for him too. _Inappropriate_ feelings, in Rey’s opinion—she was only sixteen, and Hux didn’t seem like the type of guy who would be patient when it came to getting what he wanted. 

While Rose and Hux splashed each other in the pool in an obvious—and vomit-inducing—display of flirtation, Rey scampered over to a lounge chair to grab her phone. She stealthily engaged the camera and took some pictures of the two as they remained blissfully unaware. She even recorded a short video. 

_Ha! Perfect,_ Rey thought with a smirk. _No way can she deny she has feelings for the creep now._ The evidence was damning; Rose giggled and blushed and fluttered her lashes like a young schoolgirl. It would’ve been revolting if it hadn’t also been so endearing. 

Rey was so busy with the camera and with zooming close to Rose’s face that she didn’t notice him until his hands grabbed her around the waist. She startled, phone fumbling in her grasp. 

“Time to cool off!” 

She recognized the voice. “Uncle Ben!” she cried, panicked, but he was already in the act of throwing them both into the deep end of the pool.

A shriek tore from her throat, and before they hit the water, her eyes found the phone—still in her hand.

——————------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------———

“Rey, hold on a second!”

Seething, she battled through the water, ignoring Rose’s sympathetic look and Hux’s eye roll. She stomped up the pool stairs and shoved her way through the sweaty crowd on the patio. Half-dressed adults holding wine glasses and beer bottles, sunglasses perched on heads and Birkenstocks strapped on feet, laughed lightly as she forced her way through them. She was just _so_ glad she could be tonight’s entertainment. 

“Rey!” Somewhere behind her, Uncle Ben was calling her name, but she was too furious. 

She barrelled into the house, the sudden blast of air conditioning raising goosebumps on her arms and legs. It was quieter in the house, the kitchen counters filled with trays and bowls of food ready to be served, but it still took Rey the better part of a minute to locate the person she sought.

“Mom!” she cried, lip already trembling.

Kaydel Dameron whirled around, spoon in one manicured hand. “Hey, darling! What is it?”

“Rey, I _love_ your bathing suit!” Paige Tico exclaimed, sucking La Croix enthusiastically through a straw. “Where’d you get it?” 

Ignoring Paige, Rey stomped up to her mother and held out her hand. “ _Look!_ ”

Kaydel glanced briefly at the phone while she mixed a fruit salad with a big stainless steel spoon. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Uncle Ben shoved me in the pool! Now my phone’s _ruined_.” The anger returned with a vengeance; of _course_ this had to happen just after she got those amazing pictures of Rose and Hux! Plus, she’d lost all the saved passwords in her notes app—her memory sucked, and writing them down was the only way she could remember for the next time. 

“Oh no!” her mom exclaimed mildly. “That really sucks.”

Kaydel was significantly younger than her dad—there was at least fifteen years between them—so when she said things like _sucks_ or _oh shit_ or _that’s wack_ it wasn’t too weird. Still, Rey wanted a mom-response, not a teenager one. 

“What an ass!” Paige chimed in, eyeing her phone critically. “Can’t you put it in a bag of rice? Does that even work?”

“Probably not,” Rey grumbled, crossing her arms. Her stomach hurt; it always got this way when she was stressed out. 

The sliding glass door opened, sending a blast of hot air through the house. Paige’s eyes shot over Rey's head.

“Can’t you do something?” Rey asked her mom, shifting anxiously on her feet. 

A hand came down lightly on her shoulder. “Rey.” It was Uncle Ben, eyes wide and imploring. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry!”

Rey didn’t look at him. He sure as shit _better_ be. This was a seven hundred dollar phone, and only a few months old too! She didn’t have any money saved for a replacement.

“Mom?” she said again, glaring unhappily at the room.

Paige glanced between Ben and Rey, smiling strangely like the whole situation amused her. This was one of the many reasons Rey preferred her sister; at least Rose had the grace to fake her sympathy. 

Kaydel sighed and set down the spoon. “Rey, there’s nothing we can do today. If you haven't noticed, your father and I are hosting a party. Maybe this weekend we can set you up with a new one.”

This _weekend_? It was only Tuesday! Did she really have to wait four whole days for a new phone? None of this was even her fault, so why did it feel like she was the one being punished? 

“That’s not _fair_ ,” she snapped, stomping her foot. “I was in the middle of something! I can’t wait until the weekend, Mom.”

Kaydel shrugged and moved to the fridge. “There’s nothing we can do, Rey.” She raised an eyebrow at her brother. “I’m sure Uncle Ben is very, very sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t good enough,” Rey spat viciously, whirling on her uncle when she felt his hands on her waist like he was about to draw her into a hug. “And don’t _touch_ me!” 

Rey fled the room, stomping loudly up the stairs and into her palatial bedroom. A dry sob surprised its way out of her, though it was more a sound of rage than upset. Why didn’t anybody seem to care? Now she couldn’t check in with Rose or Finn, and all her social media friends would be wondering where she was. If she didn’t answer soon, they might unfollow! 

Another torrent of rage crashed through her, and with a scream she threw her phone as hard as she could at the wall. The screen shattered on impact and fell to the floor. The act and sight of the destruction eased some of the ache in her chest. Some. 

Tears blurring her vision, Rey flopped facedown on her bed. Hopefully Rose would understand if she didn’t go back down and join her in the pool. Memorial Day Weekend parties were pointless anyway. All the adults got drunk, and all the kids stuffed their faces with _her_ food and peed in _her_ pool. 

“Rey?” 

Sniffling, Rey didn’t react as Uncle Ben carefully pushed open her bedroom door. The soft tread of his footsteps on the carpet grew closer and closer until they stopped by her side. The bed sank under his weight. 

Rey’s head snapped up. “You’re all wet!”

“So are you,” he returned, not making any moves to rise. His bare chest was slick with pool water, and his shaggy black hair hung messily over his forehead. 

Grumbling, she lay her head back down and closed her eyes. _Go away, go away, go away,_ she thought furiously. 

But he didn’t, and the silence quickly became too much. 

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said, keeping her face turned away. 

He sighed. “You’re mad at me.”

“ _Obviously_ ,” she sniped, annoyed by his I’m-an-adult-and-I-know-better tone. He wasn’t _that_ much older than her. Maybe like thirty or something? Whatever. He was barely an adult compared to her parents. Her mom complained all the time about how he still didn't have a family of his own. 

“Rey, I’m sorry,” he said again, tentatively running a hand down her back. “Seriously, I didn’t notice the phone in your hand.”

She huffed into the sheets as he stroked her skin. His touch felt nice, but it wasn’t going to make up for what he’d done. You had to be so _dumb_ not to notice someone holding a phone near the pool. 

“Maybe it _was_ dumb." He grunted, shifting on the mattress. "Maybe I was distracted.”

Uh-oh. She hadn’t realized she’d spoken her thoughts aloud. That happened sometimes, and it was _so_ embarrassing. 

“Distracted by what?” Not that it mattered, of course.

Uncle Ben hummed and played with the crisscrossing bikini strings of her top. “You look very nice in this bathing suit.”

A smile edged the corners of her mouth. She loved compliments. “I got it from Target. Mom helped me pick it out.”

He shifted on the bed again so he was lying next to her on his side. “Well, she did a great job. It’s very pretty.” 

“Thanks,” she mumbled, keeping her face pressed to the sheets. 

“I have an idea,” he said suddenly. Without any warning he rolled on top of her. For the brief moment his whole weight was bearing down on her, Rey couldn’t breathe. Panic fluttered up her throat. But then he leaned back and straddled her hips instead, and she could breathe again. 

“Hey!” she exclaimed, struggling to keep the fear out of her voice. What was all _that_ about? 

“Let me make it up to you.” Uncle Ben adjusted his position, his thick thighs on either side of her hips, and expertly began untying her bikini top.

Rey twisted her head curiously. “What are you doing?”

“I can feel how tense you are, sweetheart,” he said, giving her a small smile. “Massages are a great way to relieve tension, you know.” 

She perked up a bit then. She and her mom used to go to the spa to get facials and massages _all_ the time. It had been a while, though. Rey blamed her father; Poe was having an early mid-life crisis that required him and her mom to go on, like, four vacations a year. Just the two of them, of course. They still hired a babysitter for Rey, too, even though she was _way_ too old for that. It was super degrading.

“I wouldn’t be so stressed if you hadn’t broken my phone,” she mumbled, but she let him toss away her top and settle his hands around her ribs. He had really large hands. 

“You shouldn’t be stressed at all, Rey,” Uncle Ben said mildly. “You have a great life here. Kaydel and Poe provide for you in every way.”

Rey wrinkled her nose. “Don’t get all preachy, Uncle Ben. Besides, I know that.”

His hands smoothed up and down her sides, rubbing slow, tight circles on her bare skin. A happy sigh escaped Rey’s mouth, and she closed her eyes. 

“I hate to break it to you, Rey,” he murmured, pressing down on a spot between her shoulder blades. “But I’m afraid it has to be said. You, sweetheart, are a _bit_ of a spoiled brat.”

Rey snorted. “Uh-huh, sure.”

Uncle Ben was quiet for a few seconds. “You know, you’re right. You’re not a bit of a brat." He squeezed her waist, and she giggled. "You are a _major_ brat.” 

“Not true,” she said, unconcerned by his assessment. People were jealous of the things she had access to--at least, that's what her mom had told her when someone at school yelled _uppity bitch_ at Rey last semester.

Uncle Ben's hands dipped beneath her, thumbs brushing the undersides of her breasts. Unconsciously, Rey arched into his touch, and his fingers lingered. 

He let out a slow breath. “It’s very true. Someone needs to show you that life isn’t going to be so easy, sweetheart. No one’s going to hand you what you want on a silver platter.”

“Not unless you make them,” she countered. This was something Rey’s dad said a lot. He was involved in _big business_ , whatever that meant, and he did a lot of negotiating. That's why he was so often out of the house. He even slept in his office sometimes, and she wouldn't see him for days at a time. Apparently those vacations weren't working so well. 

Ben’s hands stilled. She frowned and squirmed impatiently, ignoring a certain pointy appendage digging into her backside. Men couldn’t help themselves, she knew. Their bodies reacted instinctively to things that aroused them, even when they shouldn’t. 

“Uncle Ben?” She tried to twist around to see his face, but his grip was firm, and he suddenly pinned her flat, broad chest against her back. She remembered he was shirtless. His hands crept over her bare breasts and roughly squeezed. 

“Not unless you make them,” he repeated in a strange voice. Like he was mulling something over. 

“That’s what I said,” she gasped, trying not to react as he groped her bare breasts. She didn’t want to admit to herself that it felt _really_ good. He was her _uncle_ and he was _old_. 

“Rey, I really am sorry about your phone.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her shoulder. Another to the side of her throat. “I’m going to make it up to you.”

“How?” she asked suspiciously. His lips were soft and warm as he trailed them down her back. Ben was her uncle, yeah, but he was also seriously handsome in a dark, very... _specific_ way. Big body, long hair, lots of freckles and moles… It all really worked for him. More than one of her friends had confessed a secret crush. 

Instead of answering, Uncle Ben lifted himself off her and the bed, though not before squeezing her breasts one more time like he couldn’t help himself. Rey wiggled her backside, confused and annoyed, and he lightly slapped one cheek.

“Hey!” She blushed furiously and scrambled to her knees, hands covering her breasts.

“Don’t be a tease,” he muttered, and before she could adjust herself on the bed he was halfway down the hall.

Rey’s mouth gaped open as she stared after him. What the heck was his _deal_? He offered to give her a massage and then left halfway through? Good thing he wasn’t an actual masseuse; his ratings would be _so_ low. 

Fuming, she quickly retied her bikini top and tore down the stairs after him, hands bunched into little fists. She found him talking with her mother in the kitchen. 

“You don’t have to do anything,” Kaydel said, eyebrows raised as if surprised. “Really, Ben—“

“It’ll work out,” he said, running a hand through his dripping wet hair. “I don’t mind, really, and I could use the help.”

“What are you talking about?” Rey demanded, planting her hands on her hips. 

Kaydel turned to her with a small smile. “Well, it’s your lucky day, girlfriend. Guess who’s offered to buy you a new phone?”

Rey’s glare dropped off her face, and she looked wildly around the kitchen. “Is Daddy going to take me to the Apple store?” 

Her mom laughed shortly. “No, honey. Daddy had to step out to the office for a little while. Uncle Ben’s going to buy you a new phone.”

Rey’s eyes flashed over to him. He looked a little too pleased with himself, but she didn’t care. “Really?” she squealed, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “When are we going?”

“Hold your horses there, sweetheart,” he said, running a light hand over her hair. “The earliest I can do is tomorrow morning.”

Rey frowned briefly, but then considered that this was a major improvement. Tomorrow morning instead of four whole days away? She’d take it!

“Okay,” she said brightly. Then, remembering her manners, added, “Thanks, Uncle Ben!”

“How about this,” he said, eyeing Rey closely. “I’ll let you pick out whatever phone you want. Don't worry about the cost. ”

“Ben—“ Kaydel grimaced unhappily.

“Even the newest version?” Rey’s eyes popped. _No one_ had the iPhone X4 yet. It cost literally thousands of dollars. 

Her uncle nodded. “Anything you want. Promise.” 

Rey squealed and threw herself into his arms. Uncle Ben picked her up around the waist and swung her once in a tight circle. She wrapped her legs around his waist so she wouldn’t accidentally hit anything with her feet. 

“Thank you, thank you!” she chanted excitedly, squeezing his neck. “You’re the best, Uncle Ben!” 

He laughed and kissed her temple. “You’re very welcome. You know I only want you to be happy, Rey.” 

“I know!” she sang. “Thank you so much!” 

They hugged each other, Rey giggling and Uncle Ben murmuring silly things into her ear. Kaydel rolled her eyes, but she seemed relieved. Rey couldn't blame her--she could throw a monster of a tantrum when she needed to. 

“Now go outside and play,” Kaydel commanded, pointing a stern finger at the back door. “And please eat something, Rey!” 

“I will!” she called over Ben’s shoulder as he carried her outside. Well, she would _intend_ to, but she’d probably forget. Everyone was always complaining about how she was too thin and how she needed to eat more, which only made her want to avoid food altogether. Besides, she was getting the nicest phone ever bright and early tomorrow morning! 

“You wanna go swimming for real this time?” Uncle Ben said, shifting his grip so one hand supported her bottom. The other trailed down her spine, sending goosebumps all over her skin. 

“Yes!” she said, scanning for Rose. “I promise I won’t yell at you this time." 

He hummed in the back of his throat, obviously unconvinced, and she giggled into his neck. Across the yard, by the shallow end of the pool, she spotted Rose. Her friend was lounging on the stairs and talking to Armie Hux still, who had one arm casually thrown over her shoulders. Rey rolled her eyes. What a dirtbag. 

“You know what you’re gonna get?” 

Rey tore her eyes away from Rose and refocused. “What?” 

He mock-pouted and kissed her cheek twice. “Pay attention to me!” 

Rey laughed loudly, not at all offended. “Is that your impression of me?” 

“Did it seem familiar?” he asked, squeezing her bottom. 

She lightly smacked his chest. “Don’t be mean.” 

His grin widened, but he didn’t say anything else. He strode confidently across the crowded yard, apparently unbothered by the added weight. Rey glimpsed quite a few curious stares as they cut a path towards the pool. 

“I want the X4,” she announced imperiously. _Don't ask permission, ask for forgiveness._ Another one of her mother's life lessons. 

He groaned good-naturedly. “Of course you do, sweetheart.” 

“What does _that_ mean?” she demanded, swinging her legs as he stopped at the edge of the diving board. 

“It means,” he said, deftly hefting himself up the small ladder, “that pretty girls like to spend men's money.” 

“That’s not true!” she exclaimed, knowing that—at least in some part—it was very true. “I don’t have a job yet, so I can’t exactly pay for things myself, you know.” 

“I’m well aware,” he said, wrapping his arms tightly around her, binding her body to his as he sauntered to the edge of the diving board. Their faces were very close. 

She sniffed. “You did call me pretty though.” 

“I did,” he said with a smile. “Because you’re the prettiest. Obviously.” 

A huge grin surged to her lips, and she kissed his cheek to hide her blush. “I love you, Uncle Ben. You’re my favorite!” 

“God, you’re adorable,” he muttered, eyes darkening. He kissed her quickly on the mouth, lingering just long enough for her to taste the beer he'd drank earlier. “I love you too. But you know that.” 

“Are you gonna jump or what?” Hux called tauntingly. “Looks like you two are gonna stand there smooching all day.” 

Rey stuck out her tongue, her best defense since there were too many adults around to properly curse him out. 

“Hold your breath, okay?” Uncle Ben murmured. 

She nodded quickly and buried her face in his neck. “Don’t let go after we jump, please.” 

Balanced on the end of the diving board, he snuck a quick kiss to her neck. “I promise. I won’t let you go.” 

She tightened her grip, and then they were airborne. The sudden weightlessness made her gasp sharply, and when they hit the water she imagined the splash soaked everybody in the yard. 

They sank to the bottom of the pool, clinging to one another like to be separated meant death, and Rey imagined, for a brief time, that it was just the two of them here in the backyard—adrift and weightless but together. Uncle Ben pressed his mouth to the curve of her neck, and she cupped the back of his head to keep him there. 

Quietly, peacefully, they sank, and when the last of their oxygen inevitably ran out, they would rise to the surface together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **i legit got this idea from porn ummm 😗**
> 
> **lots of tags—CHECK EM PLS! it only gets worse from here**


	2. undertow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **nice guy Ben has a darker side who wudda thunk**
> 
> **TW: brief mentions of vomiting**

A horn honked outside—three quick, impatient bursts—and Rey was out the door like a shot. 

“Be good for Uncle Ben!” her mother called after her, and Rey shouted that of course she would. 

Today was the day. Shortly, she would be the proud new owner of an iPhone X4, and she was going to do nothing to jeopardize that. All her friends were insanely jealous; when she’d told Rose at the party yesterday her friend had nearly combusted on the spot.

“Maybe I should get someone to shove _me_ into a pool,” she'd said, casting a thoughtful eye at Hux. “ _Again_.”

“I don’t think Uncle Ben will pay for two new phones,” Rey had said doubtfully.

Rose sighed. “Yeah, yeah, not all of us can have sugar daddy relatives, Rey!”

The two girls had giggled, and Rey had promised to text her whenever she activated the new phone.

“I’ll let Finn know too!” Rose had promised, and she’d forced a smile. 

Part of her was still salty about the fact that Finn was so often unavailable lately. He hadn’t been able to come to the Memorial Day party, and sometimes her texts went unanswered for hours and hours. Whenever he _did_ have some free time, he seemed distant and awkward around Rey. She wasn’t sure what she’d done to make him behave like she was a virus to be avoided at all costs, but it was annoying and kind of insulting. 

Rey yanked shut the door to Ben’s fancy Porsche and shoved a bowl of chili under his nose. “My mom wanted me to give you this. Too many leftovers.”

He grimaced and peeked under the saran wrap. “Ah, yes, green-bean chili. Exactly what I needed to stink up the car.”

Rey laughed—it really did smell foul—and gently placed the bowl in the miniscule backseat. “Why did you even buy this car?” she asked with a frown. “It’s so _tiny_. You can barely fit two people in here.”

Uncle Ben shrugged and leaned over to buckle in her seatbelt. His fingers brushed her bare midriff. “This is the kind of shit you can buy when you don’t have kids.”

She thrilled at his casual cursing. Her parents were always careful about using foul language in front of her, as if she didn’t hear it a hundred times a day at school. As if she herself didn’t use it half that much. 

She wrinkled her nose. “I’m never having kids. Too messy.”

Amused, Uncle Ben mussed up her hair. “We’ll see.”

Rey grumbled, swatting away his hand, and carefully fixed her hair so it lay in soft, tousled waves again. She always put in work for her appearance ever since a mean-girl group at school told her no one wanted to date a skeleton with zero fashion sense. She couldn’t do too much about her metabolism, but she _could_ dress like an aspiring runway model if she so desired. Her mother had great taste and a willingness to use her Dad’s black Amex card.

“Don’t I look pretty today?” she asked, fluttering her lashes. Who _cared_ if she was looking for compliments. They made her feel better. 

Uncle Ben quickly glanced away from the road and scanned her from head-to-toe. She was wearing a heavily frayed pair of light denim shorts with a dark blue off-the-shoulder blouse that tied in a knot at the front. Thanks to her many hours spent poolside, she had a fantastic tan that brought out the green of her eyes. No jewelry and a brand new pair of pink Birkenstocks, courtesy of Daddy’s guilt for missing yet another of her birthdays. 

_Damn,_ she’d thought that morning, eyeing herself critically in the mirror. _One of these days I need to find a boyfriend._ But apparently they still had a lot of growing up to do; most of the boys in her school seemed uninterested in dating. Whatever. 

After a thorough examination, Uncle Ben’s attention returned to the road. “You look good enough to eat, sweetheart.”

She giggled and preened a little. “I know.”

He muttered what sounded like _spoiled brat_ under his breath, but she just rolled her eyes and ignored him. There was an old rock song on the radio, so she switched the channel to a pop station without asking. He could deal. 

Sure enough, Uncle Ben sighed but didn’t complain.

Ten minutes later he signaled and turned down a lush, tree-lined street with big houses on either side. Rey frowned and realized after a minute they were approaching Uncle Ben’s house.

“I thought we were going to the Apple store?” She was _really_ impatient to have that X4 in her hands. 

“Not yet,” he said casually, coasting into the driveway. “Have to make a quick pitstop.”

“Oh.” Indifferent, Rey played with a loose strand of her hair. “Can I wait in the car, then?”

Uncle Ben shifted into park and faced her in his seat, not saying anything. His silence unnerved her, but she didn’t want to interrupt whatever was on his mind. He looked very serious, and Rey had always been cautioned to let men think in peace. 

“No,” he said finally, turning off the ignition. “It’s better if you come inside, sweetheart.”

With an aggrieved sigh—she’d assumed the day would be spent setting up her new phone: apps, password notes, contacts—Rey shoved open the passenger-side door and flounced out of the car. 

“I thought maybe you’d like to eat lunch first,” Uncle Ben continued, jangling his keys as they neared the front door. 

“But I just had breakfast, like, an hour ago,” she whined, shoulders slumping. “Can’t we get the phone first and _then_ eat? By then it’ll probably be noon.”

He twisted the knob and gestured for her to go first. Even though he lived alone—not even any pets!—Uncle Ben’s house was _quality_. Two stories, lots of windows and modern furniture, an open-floor plan, tons of extra space, and an enormous but empty backyard. 

“You should get a pool,” Rey said, starting towards the back of the house. “That way you can throw parties here and—“

She cried out as something hit the backs of her legs, and she stumbled and fell to her hands and knees on the living room rug. It did little to lessen the impact; her landing was so hard her teeth vibrated. Tears of pain blurred her vision, but when she looked up, she could clearly see Uncle Ben standing above her with an umbrella in hand.

“That’s enough talking for now,” he said mildly, setting the umbrella against the wall. 

“What—what was _that_?” she asked shakily, moving slowly to her feet.

Her uncle put a restraining hand on her shoulder, forcing her back to her knees. “Did I say you could stand?”

Rey blinked uncomprehendingly. “What?”

He brushed a thumb over her lips. “Mm. You look so pretty like this, Rey.”

 _What the hell is he talking about?_ she wondered. She didn’t even know if she should be scared or just pissed off. Had he— _No._

“Did you _hit_ me with that umbrella?” she asked incredulously. The idea was so ludicrous she almost laughed. 

Obviously he didn’t do that. She must’ve tripped or...or maybe he accidentally—

“I did,” he said calmly. “A necessary measure, sweetheart.”

She gaped soundlessly up at him, her mind strangely blank like her thoughts had completely deserted her in light of this admission. 

“You want a new phone, don’t you?”

Slowly, Rey nodded. She wanted a phone. He’d hit her with an umbrella. Did not compute. 

Uncle Ben tilted his head, studying her as she kneeled awkwardly before him. “Then you’ll do what I say, isn’t that right?”

“What...I…” _Do what he says?_ Didn’t she already do that? “That’s right,” she said softly, swallowing. Okay, now she was a little nervous. Why was he acting so... _mean_? Uncle Ben was always really soft and loving with her, and that’s why she loved him so much. Well, maybe not always soft. _Usually._

He stepped closer, closing the remaining distance between them, and lightly placed a finger on the waistband of his jeans. Rey’s throat tightened, but she unbuttoned his pants with shaking hands, dragging down the zipper as slowly as she could. Stalling. 

Maybe she was misunderstanding. There could be other reasons for this sudden shift in behavior, right? Maybe he was upset with her. Right! She should’ve asked for a less expensive phone. What had he said the day before?

 _Pretty girls like to spend men’s money._

“Pull them down, Rey,” he said softly, and she tugged his jeans off his hips. 

The bulge in his briefs was enormous, and all at once she froze. It was like someone had stuck her with a needle. Her teachers always referred to sex as a special, intimate act, but when she stared at his...lap...all she knew was dread. Paralyzed, she could only watch as Uncle Ben swayed forward, brushing his crotch over her mouth. 

“What’s the hold up, sweetheart?” Outrageously, he seemed confused by her reluctance to participate. Like, honestly confused. 

“Why—why are you _doing_ this?” she blurted, swallowing past her fear. This was her Uncle Ben—the man who had always volunteered to babysit, who loved coloring and baking cookies side-by-side, who praised her high test scores and was always lenient when it came time to punish her for silly mistakes. 

“Oh, Rey,” he said patiently. “I told you before, didn't I? Not everything in life comes so easy. Sometimes you have to work for what you really want.”

She shook her head frantically. But she didn’t _want_ this, so why...? “I don’t—Uncle Ben, I don’t know what you _mean_. Can’t you just—“

He clucked his tongue and grabbed one of her hands, yanking it to his crouch. “None of that Uncle Ben nonsense,” he said sternly. “From now on you can just call me Ben. Okay, sweetie?”

Fine, whatever. But he still hadn’t answered her questions. “Okay, but—”

He backhanded her across the face, and only his grip on her wrist kept her from flying to her back on the carpet. She shrieked, more from surprise than pain, and cowered under him, tugging on her wrist. That _hurt_. That hurt so bad she wanted to scream until her voice gave out. 

“Listen, Rey,” he said, and now his voice was hard and unfamiliar and almost cruel, like he didn’t really care if she was okay or not. “I know you’re used to getting what you want. Unfortunately, your parents were too soft with you. They’ve spoiled you. Made you demanding and whiny and vulnerable. So _vulnerable_.” He lovingly stroked her stinging cheek, and she hesitantly let him. “I think it’s time for you to grow up, sweetheart. The real world isn’t so gentle.”

The bulge in his underwear brushed her face again, and now Rey began to sob.

Uncle Ben made soft shushing sounds as he guided her hand to the waistband of his briefs. “Come now, honey. You know what I want.”

And she _did_. She did know what he wanted. Rey wasn’t a little kid anymore. In school they taught her about sex ed and birth control and, worst of all, the horrible R-word. _It can happen to anyone,_ her health teacher explained, time and time again. _At any time. You always think,_ It can’t happen to me. _But of course it can. And people go right on thinking that up until it happens to them._

“Unc--Ben,” she whispered, avoiding the sight of his obvious hard-on. “Ben, I don’t want to.”

“I know,” he cooed, running his fingers through her hair. “That’s the point, sweetie. We don’t always get what we want. Not even you.”

She swallowed again and stared at a point on his stomach. Maybe she could pretend this wasn’t happening, and if she pretended long enough things would go back to normal. They would get into Ben’s Porsche and drive to the Apple store. Soon she would have a new phone in hand. It didn’t even have to be the X4. Any phone would do. 

“Rey.” Impatient now. “I won’t ask nicely again.”

Her fingers trembled on his underwear but didn’t move.

Ben sighed. “You won’t get a new phone at this rate. And if you’re waiting for your mommy or daddy to come get you, that’s not going to happen either.”

She looked up sharply. “What?”

“Ah, yes. Seems you missed that part of the conversation. In exchange for this very expensive phone, you’ll be working as my assistant to pay off your debt. Under the table, of course.”

None of this made a bit of sense. Assistant? Debt? 

Before she could open her mouth, he added, “Mommy agreed to hand you off to me for the whole summer. Isn’t that great?”

“But...you don’t _need_ an assistant.” Ben worked in the tech industry. He usually did most of his tasks at home—at least, that was what she’d been led to believe. He had a home office and everything. 

“Smart girl,” he said condescendingly, running a broad palm over her hair. _Wait a second._ Things were beginning to make a horrible sort of sense now. If she wasn’t working as his assistant, what exactly did he have in mind instead?

“Ben—“

“Do you want me to hit you again?” he asked sharply, cutting her off. 

She shook her head so hard her vision blurred. “No, no, _please_ —“

He smiled and touched her cheek. “Good. Begging is good. God knows you don’t do it enough.” A sharp peel split the air—his ringtone. Ben slipped his phone from his pocket and tossed it on the kitchen counter without even glancing to see who it was. 

“Now,” Uncle Ben continued, as if there’d been no interruption. “I believe you were in the middle of something.”

 _No one is going to save you._ This thought clanged in her head like a wartime klaxon. It echoed and echoed uninterrupted. _No one is going to save you._ If she didn’t do as Ben said, he was going to hit her across the face again, and the first time had hurt so bad she would do anything to avoid it.

Even this.

Slowly, unable to completely stifle her sobs, Rey peeled down the waistband of Ben’s black briefs. His cock sprang free, the tip red and swollen and already dripping precum. For whatever reason, neither her health textbook nor any of her friends had mentioned what the standard size of a penis should be. But she had a feeling it was _much_ smaller than the one in front of her. 

_How can I possibly fit this in my mouth?_ she thought hysterically. _How can he possibly expect me to—_

“I know you’re stalling, sweetie, and I hate to break it to you, but I’ve got _all_ day,” Ben said, absently rubbing his chest. “I’m sure it’ll be uncomfortable for you, though. I’ll have to kiss all the bruises on those skinny knees of yours.” 

Rey swallowed convulsively. Her throat was dry, and she was scared and confused—the room swam around her like they were underwater again. Silent, drifting, aimless. Ben was right in one regard; she wasn’t used to doing things she didn’t want to do. No one had ever been able to force her into obeying. That just...wasn’t her life. 

But Rey didn’t want to stay here forever--her knees were already aching--and maybe if she hurried and got it over with he’d be nice and let her go home. Maybe this was just a weird, one-time thing, and afterwards they could pretend nothing happened. 

Feeling faint, Rey leaned forward and carefully placed the tip of his cock in her mouth. Ben jerked in surprise, and a vicious thrill went through her. _Good,_ she thought harshly. _Let him be surprised for once._

But then he groaned and rocked his hips forward, sliding the tip deeper into her mouth. Rey licked the precum off and swirled her tongue around the puffy head, pretending it was a lollipop or some other favorite food. That was how she’d get through this whole thing, by pretending something else was going on. 

“Jesus Christ,” he said in a strained voice. “Holy _shit_. Keep going, Rey.”

Trembling, Rey sucked him further into her mouth, rolling her tongue and swallowing the salty, vaguely sweaty taste of him. He pushed his way in until his cock hit the back of her throat, and Rey’s body clenched painfully as she gagged. 

For a few seconds she felt sure she would vomit or just spit him out—for a few seconds that was the only thing in the world she truly wanted to do—but then her stomach settled, and her watery eyes rose to Ben’s face. His head was tilted so far back she couldn’t see his expression, and she was relieved. If he still looked expectant, she wouldn’t know what to do, and that meant more hitting. If he looked _pleased_ , she’d have to once again fight back the urge to puke.

Uncle Ben’s fingers slid through her hair to cup the back of her head. Holding her still, he swayed lazily forward and back, dragging his cock over her tongue and teeth. She whined, and he shushed her gently. 

“You’re doing so well, sweetheart,” he said with a familiar, just-for-her smile. “I’m proud of you.”

Rey shifted on her knees, heart swelling in her chest as he gradually shifted to a faster pace. His balls brushed her chin every time he pushed all the way to the back of her throat, and she had to squeeze her eyes shut to stem the flood of tears. 

“I’ve dreamed about this, you know,” Ben said conversationally. “My young niece. On her knees, pretty pink lips wrapped around my cock.”

Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes as Rey sloppily sucked him off, tongue sweeping along the entire length of his shaft as he swayed. She didn’t know what else to do with it, but he seemed to like it when she licked him. 

This...wasn’t so bad, actually. Rey suspected it could be a lot worse. Uncle Ben loved her. He had always been a force for good, of comfort, in her life and maybe that hadn’t changed. He--

As if he could read her mind, Uncle Ben tightened his fingers on the back of her head, and he suddenly rammed his cock down her throat so viciously she gagged and screamed at the same time, body hunching as if she could somehow get away. But his grip on her was solid, and he snapped his hips forward again and again, driving deep into her throat.

“ _Fuck, fuck, fuck,_ ” he chanted, gasping in time with his thrusts. “That’s right, suck me off, sweetie. Open that pretty mouth wide as you can.”

Rey moaned in pain around his cock, staring sightlessly straight ahead. A nightmare. This was nothing but a nightmare. The fingers tangled in her hair belonged to a monster. The hands that held her head in place were black-tipped claws. The warm, wet _thing_ sliding in and out of her mouth was...uh, um, a hallucination, yes, that’s what it was. The grunts and moans and babbled nonsense were that of a creature from the depths of the sea. 

This wasn’t real life. This wasn’t _her_ life.

“ _Look at me_ ,” Uncle Ben barked suddenly, and Rey’s eyes shot to his face. Drool dripped down her chin, and salty tears coated her stretched mouth. 

Just a nightmare.

“Fucking _Christ_ ,” he snarled through gritted teeth. “Look at you. This is _exactly_ where—“

He groaned and suddenly hammered into her mouth, roaring senselessly as a flood of hot, salty cum gushed down her throat. Pinned to him, Rey had no choice but to swallow. And swallow again. For a long minute, that was all she did—close her eyes and suck down all of her uncle’s cum. It tasted terrible, but at least he wasn’t still ramming her throat. 

Ben kept his cock stuffed deep into her mouth even after he finished cumming. It was limp and soft now. An alien thing. Rey fought to breathe as he mumbled and stroked her cheeks and neck. His hips jerked once, and she gargled on the full length of his cock. Abruptly, he stepped back, releasing his hold on her hair. 

Rey gasped and bent over on the floor, hands clutching her throat. She couldn’t stop heaving and coughing. Strands of dark hair hung in her face, obscuring her line of vision. Not that there was anything to see. Not that she even _wanted_ to see. 

“On your feet, sweetheart!” Ben said cheerily. He was no longer breathless or panting. In fact, he seemed completely normal. Like this was just another day. 

Shaking uncontrollably, Rey stumbled to her feet, wiping tears and drool from her face. Large hands grabbed her roughly by the hips and lifted her up on the kitchen table. She sat obediently, chest heaving, as Ben cooed softly and ran his hands over her cheeks and throat and chest.

“I was a little rough with you, wasn’t I?” he murmured. Unbelievably, he sounded apologetic. “I’m sorry, sweetie. You get me all wound up.”

Rey sniffled and ducked her head to avoid his eyes. 

“I’ll do better next time, I promise,” he added, pushing her legs apart so he could nestle between them. His hands shoved up the hem of her blouse and cupped her ribs. “Such a tight little body. I wanna lick you all over.”

Rey made a soft, pained sound in the back of her throat as he kissed her exposed shoulder. 

“I’m _so_ proud of you, Rey,” he whispered, nuzzling her neck. “You’re smart and beautiful and kind. Perfection. You’ll be good for me.” 

“Ben—“ she said, but that one word immediately opened the floodgates again.

“Oh, no, no,” he admonished, hands now cupping her bare breasts. She wasn’t wearing a bra; she normally didn’t on account of barely having any. “None of that, sweetie. I know it’s scary at first, but I’m here to make it all better.”

She cried into his shoulder and allowed him to pet and fondle her breasts, his lips coasting over her throat and collarbones, nibbling and biting occasionally like he meant to leave his mark. She wanted to care—what if her parents noticed?—but instead she closed her eyes and imagined an island. 

“We’ll go get your phone now,” he said softly, kissing each bite on her neck. They itched. “I’ll help you pick the best one, and then we can try again.”

 _Try again?_

As if he could read her thoughts, Ben pulled back slightly and cradled her face in one big hand. “The first time was spectacular, sweetie, but I _know_ we can do better. We still have three hours left together.”

“Please,” she whispered, lips trembling. She didn’t know if she could take him a second time. Not if he was rough. Not if he tried to hurt her again. 

Ben smiled kindly and kissed her mouth twice, fast and hard. “Good girl. Keep begging and I might reconsider.”

Her heart surged with hope. “You will?”

“ _No,_ ” he said with a cheerful laugh, and hugged her too tight. “You’ll beg until I tell you to stop”

 _But you won’t, will you?_ she thought numbly, exhausted and limp in his arms. _You won’t stop._

Ben palmed her small breasts, pushing them together, and sloppily kissed the tops of each, leaving behind pools of glistening saliva. “Let’s go, sweetness. No time to waste. If you look at me like that for much longer,” he added, voice dangerously soft, “I might just keep you here for the rest of the day.”

Rey nodded, and when he cupped her bottom and held her to his chest, she closed her eyes and brought forth that image of the island.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **do i detect......a hint of plot? mayhaps a very small morsel**


	3. erosion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **the plot thickens somewhat**
> 
> **also the lovely[darkreylo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkreylo/pseuds/darkreylo) made a [moodboard](https://twitter.com/naboojakku/status/1286054344253636609) for this fic and I am so thankful for it 🖤**
> 
> **peep additional tags 👀**   
>  **TW: mention of extreme underage (kissing & naked cuddling)**

A rose-gold iPhone X4 sat gleaming on the coffee table. It was nearly as big as a tablet, and the four-lense camera on the back promised professional-level candids—great for selfies. The battery supposedly lasted all day, and its storage was twice as large as the previous version, which meant she could download twice as many apps. The X4 was everything a tech-obsessed teenager could dream of one day owning, and it was all hers. 

But it sat abandoned as Rey gagged on a swollen cock much too big for her mouth. 

“ _Much_ better,” Ben praised breathlessly as she quickly bobbed her head up and down his shaft. “I’m gonna cum soon, sweetie. Just keep going.”

His cock slid in and out of her mouth with lewd, wet squelches, drool and precum coating the lower half of her face. At first she’d tried to hide it—maintain some dignity—but Ben got really excited whenever he caught sight of the mess, and she didn’t want to upset him. 

Stomach clenching, Rey dutifully swallowed a mouthful of cum as he groaned his release. _Think of iced tea,_ she told herself numbly. _Think of lemonade and milkshakes and soda._ This constant recitation helped to distance herself from what was really filling her mouth. When even that failed, she would imagine an island again. Palm trees, crystalline blue water, fresh, flower-scented air. 

Satisfied, Ben pulled his cock free and nabbed a couple tissues from the box on the coffee table. “Just like that, Rey, and you’ll be taking me like a pro in no time. You’re halfway there already.”

Rey collapsed back into the sofa, body tired but mind racing. She’d naively assumed that Ben would return her home early, even though she was still supposed to be “working” for the next three hours. If she pleased him, he might give her something she wanted in return. Tit for tat, right? Rey was familiar with negotiating--she did it with her parents all the time, and she usually won. 

But he really meant to keep her at his house for her whole bullshit “shift.” On the way back from the Apple store, they had driven past the exit for her home without slowing. 

She didn’t move as Ben rounded the coffee table and handed her a glass of water. “Drink.”

A few gulps and she emptied the glass. Next he used clean tissues to wipe the tears and spit off her face. She held herself still as he cleaned her, afraid any movement might set him off again. 

“How are we feeling?” he murmured, tucking stray pieces of hair behind her ears. 

“I want to go home now,” she whispered, her eyes on the floor. She was _exhausted_. 

“Mm, I’m afraid that’s not possible.” 

Her lower lip wobbled, and tears threatened. She was so _tired_ of crying, but every single thing about the day was driving her to the brink. It was too much. Why had all the girls at school—especially the slutty ones like Bazine—gone on and on about giving blowjobs? They were _awful_. She just wanted Ben to kiss and cuddle her again. 

Ben sighed and pulled her into his lap, yanking her thighs to either side of his hips. “Shush, sweetheart. It’s upsetting, but you’ll get used to it.”

“Get used to it?” she mumbled, frowning. “Ben, I’m _tired_. Can’t you just drop me off at home? You got what you wanted, didn’t you?” A sloppy, ill-experienced blowjob. Her cheeks heated; she didn't _want_ to be embarrassed, but it rankled, knowing she hadn't done something perfectly. 

He rocked her side to side and peppered kisses all over her face and neck. “No can do. I want more than one day with you, sweetness.”

She moaned and closed her eyes. Maybe if she got some sleep first—some distance from this whole situation—she could really _think_. His kisses were nice, and they usually managed to make her feel better, but going down on him had to be the worst thing she'd ever had to endure. 

“You know,” he continued, shifting her in his lap so he could lazily rub her between the legs, “I’ve wanted you for a while now, but it was never the right time. I considered taking you at thirteen, but only briefly.” He pressed his nose to the side of her head and inhaled deeply. “I realized there was still room for you to grow.”

 _Thirteen,_ she repeated silently, dumbstruck. His fingers dipped into her pussy and painted her arousal all across her folds. _But that was...three years ago. He’s wanted me that long?_

“Your breasts hadn’t yet developed at that age, and you’d only just gotten your period,” Ben continued calmly. “Kaydel would tell me how you’d cry and cry sometimes, especially when you had a bad day at school, and it sounded…” He shuddered and hugged her to his chest, fingers slicked with her arousal. “I needed you to emotionally mature first. Only then would you understand.”

Rey swallowed down her confusion and squirmed in his lap, shoving at his roving hands. But he merely grabbed her chin with one and shoved the other back under the waistband of her shorts. 

“Oh, you’re _soaked_ ,” he exclaimed excitedly, breath hot and heavy on her neck. “Thank fuck.”

His thumb rolled slow, experimental circles on her clit, and Rey gritted her teeth to keep from making any noise. She would not react to him. She would _not_ moan, no matter how nice it felt. 

“Do you remember when I babysat you?” Ben licked her earlobe teasingly and, when she didn't immediately answer, squeezed her chin so hard she thought her jaw might break. But still, she didn’t scream or cry out. She arched her back instead, and his hold loosened. 

“Kaydel and Poe would leave two, sometimes three times a week to catch a late dinner or show, and they would call on me to watch you.” His fingers remained constant and steady on her clit, and inevitably, arousal drenched the seat of her panties. “We would watch movies and play games, eat dinner together. We would have tickle fights, and sometimes I’d help you take a bath. You’ve always been so skinny.”

Ben leaned his forehead on her temple and sighed. “You were twelve when we started.”

 _Started what?_ Her brain screamed at her to remember, but there was nothing there, no identifiable trauma. Maybe she’d repressed it? Maybe he was _lying_?

Maybe she’d…liked it? 

“I would undress you,” he said quietly, running a single finger up and down her slit, “and you would help me undress too. Then we’d crawl into your bed and burrow under the covers. I’d wrap myself around you like another layer. A cozy Ben blanket.” He laughed into the curve of her neck. “That’s what you’d call me. Your Ben blanket.”

“Did we—“ _Oh my god._ Rey realized she was gasping. Was she hyperventilating? It definitely felt like she was hyperventilating. 

“Oh, Rey, of _course_ not!” Ben scoffed like even asking was offensive. “You were so young and _way_ too trusting. I would never take advantage of you like that. We’d sleep all snuggled together, skin to skin and heart to heart. Sometimes I’d place my head on your tiny chest and just _listen_ ,” he sighed, closing his eyes. “If you couldn’t sleep, you’d ask me to kiss you. So I would start on your neck and make my way down to your tummy. You liked that best.” 

The memory made him smile. 

“Of course,” he added casually, “I always set an alarm. Had to be up before your parents came home. We were naked, after all, and for Kaydel to understand what you meant to me, even then, was asking too much.” 

Rey shook her head. No, she wasn’t hearing this. He was faking. He was pretending. He was playing a sick joke on her, and in a minute he would laugh and pinch her hips. _So gullible, my Rey._

“Why?” she whispered, clenching her thighs around his wrist. “Why did you—“ _Why did you kiss me? Why did you cuddle naked with me? Why do you love me?_

Ben kissed her forehead and shoved two fingers into her pussy, all the way up to the knuckles, while his thumb continued to rub increasingly rough circles on her clit. She arched her back against the touch, hating herself, painfully aware that an orgasm was fast building.

“I’ve loved you since the moment you were born, Rey,” he murmured softly. “I held you in the hospital and kissed your smooth forehead. All these years, I’ve had the pleasure of watching you grow into a brillant, incredibly beautiful young woman. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”

She clenched her thighs again, trying to keep the orgasm at bay, but it was too powerful, and Ben’s fingers were moving too fast, and she was gasping and whining and squirming because she wanted to cum more than anything in the world, and he would not _stop_ —

With a wail Rey came all over his hand, body bucking and jerking as waves of pleasure crashed through her. She thrashed senselessly, moaning and crying, but his arms tightened, forcing her to ride it out. His hips gyrated, pushing his stiff cock into her ass. 

She whimpered and begged him to stop, but she might as well have been talking to a wall. He remained silent and locked around her, his mouth molded to her neck, hips grinding slowly.

“Let’s go to bed,” he said finally, voice rough. 

She knew what that meant. “No, Ben, _please_ —“

He groaned and staggered upright, keeping his arms around her. “Shush now. You know what your begging does to me, Rey.”

Her legs dangled more than a foot off the floor, and though she kicked at the air, it made no difference. He carried her upstairs and into his bedroom, leaving the door wide open, a reminder--it was just the two of them here. 

Ben set her feet gently on the floor and backed away. She stood there, trembling, unable to see for the tears in her eyes. She thought she might be in shock. All those fun times she’d had with her uncle, all those museum outings and foot races and two-person house parties… None of that was real. All along he’d been looking at her not as someone to care for but as someone to devour, someone to hold tight to his chest and ravage, to lick and suck and kiss until she submitted. 

“Stay still,” he commanded, and she did.

Her blouse came off first. He kissed her shoulders and collarbones and the hollow of her neck as he reverently peeled the top away, tossing it over his shoulder. Next came her shorts, and then her silk panties, which were soaked from her orgasm. Ben stuffed them into his mouth and moaned at the taste. Rey whimpered at the sight and closed her eyes as he kissed her hip bones and stomach and the apex of her sticky thighs. She shuddered as his lips touched her folds, arching into his touch. 

“I can’t believe how perfect you are,” he whispered, pushing his forehead into her belly. His hands gripped the backs of her thighs. “Christ, Rey. We were made for each other.” 

He was on his knees before her, but Rey had never felt so powerless. His big hands encircled her thighs, fingertips nearly touching. Never had she thought of her thinness as a _bad_ thing, but right now she saw all too clearly how easy it would be for him to break her. There was no use fighting; he would take what he wanted whether she gave it willingly or not. 

“Ben,” she whispered, unable to keep the quiver from her voice, “I—I’m not ready to have sex.”

He was on his feet in an instant, cradling her face, cooing and murmuring reassurances. “Oh, Rey, sweetie, of course you’re not. I always knew your first time would be with me.” He pouted, blinking his long lashes as if in commiseration. “Uncle Ben had his hands full keeping all the boys away until you were ready.”

She closed her eyes and shook her head. What did _that_ mean? _Keep the boys away._

“I wasn’t going to let a silly, immature preteen with a limp dick fuck my pretty niece,” he said harshly, sliding his hands from her face to her neck. “You deserve better.” 

His thumbs pressed down on the hollow of her throat, and Rey whimpered uneasily. Had he really intervened in her dating life? Was that why her romantic prospects had always seemed so bleak?

Was _he_ why she’d always been so unwanted? 

All at once, as if struck by lightning, Rey’s numbness disintegrated. Fear lingered, but it was quickly blasted aside. An invisible barrier inside her cleaved in two, releasing the floodgates to something much darker. 

Rage. 

So her uncle had been threatening the boys at her school? Boys who might’ve asked her out on dates if it weren’t for Ben’s interference? All this time she’d thought she was undesirable, that she was ugly or too mean or just not _right_ , and she had started dressing like a model and wearing makeup and spending at least an hour on her hair in the mornings, but in the end it had nothing to do with her. In the end, it was all about him. 

Rey’s face twisted into a scowl. Who did Ben think he was? What right did he have to control her life like that? She was Rey fucking Dameron, and _nobody_ was allowed to fuck with her life.

“You said I deserve better,” she said slowly, staring into his eyes. “Better than _you_?”

His eyebrows rose in surprise, sensing the dark undertone in her voice. “Sweetheart, are you...angry with me?”

Despite her fear of being hit again, she shoved at his chest, furious by these confessions.“What do you _think_?” 

A smile nudged his lips but quickly faded. His arms came around her waist and tugged her against his hard body. “I think you should be careful, sweetness.”

“Or what?” she demanded, tilting her chin. A challenge. She was done playing possum. None of this was _fair._ “You’ll hit me again?”

His eyes darkened and narrowed to slits. “I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

His chilly tone knocked her off her stride. “W-what do you mean?”

Ben whirled toward the bed and dropped her on the mattress. She tried to scuttle away, but he pinned her beneath him with ease, twisting his shirt over his head one-handed.

“I mean,” he grunted, “you’re a fucking tease, Rey. If it weren’t for me, you would’ve been gangbanged by half the boys at school by now. They know a slut when they see one.” 

Rey swallowed and struggled fruitlessly as Ben straddled her chest, pinning her arms by her sides. She writhed, but it was no use—he outweighed her by a significant amount. 

“That’s not true,” she spat. Boys had always treated her with respect. Probably because they knew her family had money and could sue the shit out of them if they ever tried something, but still. 

He clucked his tongue, working at the button and zipper of his jeans. “Isn’t it? You enjoy begging. Pretty girls always do. Don’t deny it,” he warned, yanking his pants over his hips. “You enjoy wiggling your pert little ass in my face every chance you get. You enjoy prancing around in string bikinis because you know it makes my mouth water. 

“On the contrary,” he finished, kicking his jeans to the floor, “I believe it’s _very_ true.”

Her chest heaved as she strained to control her rage. It was a seething mass inside her, a mass lurking just beneath, like a second skin. For as long as she could remember, Rey had known this rage was there, patiently—and sometimes not so—waiting for an opportunity to burst free. When she’d thrown her phone at the wall during the party and watched it shatter, something sinister had murmured approval. 

“Maybe you’re just seeing what you want to see,” she seethed, baring her teeth. She wasn’t _undesirable_ , she wasn't _ugly_ , and she wasn't _stupid_. “Maybe you’re just fucked in the head.”

Ben slapped her across the face, lightly this time, but her vision still went dim. Sound abruptly faded, replaced by a loud, sonorous ringing. His hands gently kneaded her breasts, long fingers digging into her skin. She moaned and kicked, but he shifted down until he could pin her hips with his and then spread his body so it covered her own. His cock probed the apex of her thighs, throbbing and sticky with precum. 

“You know what I think?” Ben growled, shoving apart her legs. 

“No,” she snarled, hands on his chest, “and I don’t care either.” She’d recovered from the slap, but her cheek stung horribly and now she was seeing red for a different reason. Her uncle might love her, but he was an arrogant _prick_. 

“I think,” he continued, positioning his cock at her entrance, “that you _want_ to be fucked. You’re _desperate_ for it, sweetness.” 

She gasped as the tip pushed through her folds. He began to penetrate her, but so, so slowly like he wanted her to feel every bare inch of him. His eyes were riveted to her face, his expression eager and strangely adoring. 

“No,” she said again, unable to come up with another response. He sank and sank and sank until he was completely sheathed in her cunt. The sensation was dizzying. All she could feel and smell and hear and taste was _him_. 

It wasn’t unpleasant.

“ _Yes_ ,” he hissed, bottoming out. “You’re a slut, aren't you, Rey? My innocent little niece is a needy fucking _slut_.” 

He rolled his hips, and her eyes fluttered shut on a moan. Holy shit. This was _intense._ Was this kind of feeling normal? She huffed and curled her toes. 

“Do you want me to fuck you now, Rey?” he cooed, kissing the tip of her nose. "Is that what my good little girl wants?"

Whimpering, she squeezed her hands into tight fists and pressed them to her chest, shuddering as he began to stroke in and out, his hips lazily swaying. If she didn’t know any better—and she didn’t, right?—she might say she was already dangerously close to another orgasm. Her thighs trembled around Ben’s hips.

“C’mon, sweetie,” he whispered, hands braced on either side of her head. “Tell Uncle Ben what you want.”

“You—” She cried out as he stroked deep and held position, grinding his cock inside her pussy. “Oh! Don’t—Ben—”

He inhaled sharply. “ _Fuck,_ say my name. Say it, baby.”

“ _Ben_ ,” she gasped, moaning through her teeth. He was moving in earnest now, skin slapping against skin, his body tensed and coiled, muscles sharply defined. It was so fucking hot to see him moving above her like this, cheeks flushed, eyes blazing, and she found herself gripping his hips to maintain their new rhythm. His sole focus was her, and she was desperate to keep it that way. 

“Tell me,” he panted, pounding into her . “Tell me what you _want_ , Rey.” 

“You said…” Oh god, she couldn’t _think_. She cried out again when he sank deep and rolled her hips. “You s-said sometimes we don’t get what we w-want.” 

“ _Fuck_ ,” he snarled, roughly grabbing her by the throat. “I know what I said.”

She wailed and thrashed beneath him, only able to move a few inches as he pinned her by the throat. Her back arched off the bed, and her legs twined around his waist, pressing him deep inside her cunt. _It feels so good—why does it feel so good?_

“Unlike _you_ , sweetness, I don’t always...get what I want,” he growled, breathing hard. Their hips met wetly, clapping in a fast, crazed rhythm. “So I have to...take it.” 

“Ben,” she whined, hands scrabbling at his chest. She wanted to touch him and beat him and hold him tight and push him away. Her emotions were at war. Maybe—maybe this was okay. Maybe this was _more_ than okay. If he fucked her like this every now and then, if he made her feel this _amazing_ —

“I want you,” he rasped, kissing her hard on the mouth. “I want you, Rey. I fucking want _you_.” 

“Please,” she moaned, lifting her hips in time with his thrusts. The hand on her throat squeezed and squeezed again. _Holy shit, that’s hot._ If he took it away she thought she might scream. How had she survived this long without his cock? She would take a thousand rounds of face-fucking if it meant they could do this every day. 

“Let me have you,” he gasped—and now he was begging. “Christ, let me have you—I _need_ you—I--you’re all I want, Rey—”

“ _Yes!_ ” she cried desperately. She scratched at his back, wrapping herself around him like a koala, clinging so tightly she felt his heart hammering in his chest. 

“Fuck, _fuck_.” Ben held her hips as he thrust—vicious and brutal. The bed frame hammered into the wall as he dragged his cock all the way in and all the way out. 

“You’re so big,” she mewled, rolling her hips. “Oh my _god_ —”

All at once, his pace slowed. He groaned deep in his chest and squeezed his eyes shut as if in pain. Through her haze, it registered that he was quickly withdrawing from her cunt.

“ _No!_ ” she cried, reaching for him. She needed him, and people didn’t _abandon_ her when she needed them. 

But he shifted away, towards the nightstand, his sweaty body sliding over hers as he opened a drawer. A second later he was back, ripping a condom open and expertly unrolling it down his pulsing length. His eyes were on her face, dark and heavy-lidded. Then he was ramming into her again, and Rey screamed and _screamed_ , clutching his shoulders, dragging her nails down his back. 

She sobbed as her orgasm finally reached its peak, and Ben muffled her shrill keening with his mouth. His lips moved clumsily over her face, trailing sloppy kisses. He cupped the back of her head and nuzzled her throat, big body coiling as he spilled cum into her—into the condom. 

A wave of relief crashed over her, temporarily drowning out the pleasure. He hadn’t pumped her full of cum. That had to be a good sign, right? It wasn’t like she _wanted_ him to cum inside her...right? That was insane. Cum meant babies, and she was too young. That was what everybody told her, anyway. 

But then he was licking and sucking on her neck, and all her worries faded for a while. 

“My good girl,” he mumbled, rolling his hips to empty as much cum as he could, as deeply as he could. No matter that it was only going into a condom—the motion itself was pleasurable on a scale she didn’t have words for. “Slutty, slutty girl.”

Her fingers flexed against his back. Why did he keep calling her a slut? The only person she’d ever had sex with was _him_. The only person she wanted to have sex with was...well, him. If that made her a slut, so be it. 

Rey squirmed beneath him, uncomfortable with his weight. He was far too big to be lying atop another person, especially when that person was so tiny. Did he want to crush all the air from her lungs? Earlier she would’ve said absolutely not—he loved her too much to ever consider harming a single hair on her head—but now? She wasn’t so sure. 

This man was different from the Uncle Ben she knew. This man had hit her with an umbrella and enjoyed shoving his dick down her throat. Which sucked. But he had also given her the best orgasm of her _life_ , and he was licking and kissing her body like a devout worshipper. Even now his tongue lapped at the sweat on her collarbones, and she arched her neck so he could have access to her throat.

“Uncle Ben?” she whispered. They’d been quiet for some time now. She wasn’t keen on interrupting his licking, but her stomach hurt, and her limbs were all tingly like they’d lost circulation. 

He grunted and shifted so his nose bumped her cheek. “What did I say?”

Her mind instantly flew through the last few hours. What had he said? He could literally be referring to _anything_. 

Rey’s lower lip trembled, and his gaze softened. He flicked his tongue over her mouth. 

“It’s Ben, honey,” he reminded her gently. “Call me Ben.”

She nodded, eyes heavy. “Ben, is it--can I go home now?”

He pouted, sticking out his bottom lip. “You don’t want to spend more time with me?” 

“I—“ Rey didn’t know what to say. No, that wasn’t it—she didn’t know what he wanted to _hear_. That was the only thing that mattered now. Making him happy. Although...she kind of wanted to stay now. If he was happy he would give her more orgasms. That would be nice, so long as she didn’t have to give him any more blowjobs. 

Ben sighed. “I understand. It’s your first day on the job. You’re tired, isn’t that right?”

She nodded weakly, tensing as he pulled out. The condom was slippery with their mixed cum, but he shucked it off with ease and flung it into a nearby wastebasket. 

On his knees, Ben gripped her waist and tugged her forward, inserting his cock back into her slick cunt. It was an uncomfortable—nearly painful—angle, and she scrabbled at his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck. He impaled her on his naked cock, and although she trembled, Rey didn’t fight. 

“Let’s stay just like this for a while,” he cooed into her ear. “Need to feel my little girl’s pussy.”

Rey’s stomach turned again with nerves. Sometimes her mother bought bottles of Tums because she knew how stressed and upset Rey could get. But she didn’t have any with her now, and besides: this was a kind of upset that couldn’t be obliterated by a single pill. His cock was buried so far into her she could very nearly feel it _in_ her tummy. 

Ben sat back on his heels and rocked them slowly. “I’m not going to cum in you like this, sweetie. Don’t you worry.”

“You’re not going to get me pregnant?” Rey tried not to let any emotion into her voice. 

Pregnancy was kind of a big deal in her house. Her mother’s biggest fear was Rey getting pregnant at a young age like she had. Kaydel had barely been seventeen when Dad impregnated her. Imagine having a baby at _sixteen_. How would she explain that to her parents, especially her mother? _So, guys, I’m pregnant, and oh yeah, Mom, your brother’s the father._

But a _tiny_ part of her still longed for a baby brother or sister in spite of all these very sound arguments. That had been her biggest wish as a child--to have a sibling. A baby of her own wasn’t so different, right? Besides, Ben was old enough to take care of them both. It wouldn’t be a _huge_ deal for her to get pregnant, exactly, but the thought of her _parents_ finding out--and of course they would--was horrifying. They’d probably lose their minds. 

Ben laughed like she’d told a good joke. 

“You’re too young to get pregnant now, sweetheart. At sixteen you’re still a baby yourself.” He gently bit down on her neck, working the delicate skin of her throat like he meant to rip through it. “But when you turn eighteen…” He grinned and bounced her lightly in his lap. “Well, that’s a different story, baby.”

She didn’t see how two years made much of a difference, but his answer revealed more than she‘d bargained for. First, he planned on continuing this—whatever _this_ was—for a long, long time. Past the end of the summer, when she was supposed to have worked off her debt. Second, her eighteenth birthday was in fourteen months. Only fourteen months until he would abandon the condoms altogether and impregnate her. She didn’t imagine it would take very long, if today was any indication.

“What if I _don’t_ want a baby?” she asked, frowning. The question was as much for her as it was for him. 

On the one hand, she did like the idea more than she thought she would. But on the other hand, everybody knew that if you had a baby while you were still in school, you were _definitely_ a slut. She had a reputation to maintain. Nobody would be jealous of a girl who could no longer fit into the junior’s clothing section. She would have to buy things from the _maternity_ section. 

The thought made her shiver. Gross.

“Sweetie, of _course_ you’ll want a baby,” Ben said, kissing the corners of her mouth. He was still rocking, and she could feel that his cock had grown rock-hard again. It pulsed inside her like a second heartbeat. “It’ll be _ours_. A little boy or girl who looks just like us.” 

Rey allowed herself to imagine—just for a moment—dressing up a little girl in pink dresses and princess pajamas. She could buy Barbies and hair accessories and even binkies and sippy cups. If she had a boy, she could give him toy trucks and little striped overalls. She would absolutely _smother_ him with kisses. Again, her parents knew about her baby obsession, but they'd never tried for another one. Well, maybe she really could have a baby of her own. That was almost like having a younger sibling. 

“Why do you want to have a baby with _me_?” she asked instead, ripping herself away from these tempting fantasies. Ben was responsible, and he had money, but he was also _much_ older. Didn’t he want a woman with a job and, like, a nice car? 

His face softened. “I’ve never imagined myself with anyone else. To have a baby with you is…” He trailed off and laughed. “God, it would be a dream come true.”

“But—I—” Rey struggled for words, for an argument she could throw at him. It was surprisingly difficult. Finally, she whispered, “You’re my uncle.” 

“That doesn’t mean anything to me,” Ben said, unconcerned. He shifted her in his lap so she was pressed tightly to his chest, legs secure around his waist. Gently, he bit her bottom lip and whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she told him automatically, but she sensed his was a different kind of love. “Ben, why...why did you hurt me?”

He lightly smacked her butt. “It was necessary. I wouldn’t have to be so rough if you listened to me, Rey. If you do what I want, we’ll both be very happy.”

That sounded...not easy, exactly, but she could find a way to listen. Right? For a baby, even for another orgasm, she might be able to do that. “You won’t hit me?”

He mouthed at her neck, lips brushing over a particularly nasty hickey. “Baby, I never _want_ to hurt you.”

That wasn’t an answer, she noticed, but she _did_ believe him. Nobody actually wanted to smack around another person. Besides, when he hit her they _both_ got upset. She could see it on his face, how much it pained him, and the knowledge helped. 

“Okay,” she said softly, and placed her chin in the crook of his neck. 

They continued to rock for nearly ten more minutes. But then Ben’s restraint finally snapped, and he shoved her facedown on the bed so he could guide on another condom and fuck her so hard her ears rang. When he finally came, it was _explosive_ , and cum dripped down his balls and pooled on his crisp white sheets. Ben was too busy murmuring into her shoulder to notice, but she felt it leaking out of them. 

The sun was setting by the time Ben heaved himself off the bed. He stood highlighted by a golden glow, chest covered in sweat, cock dangling between his legs, massive body looming over both her and the bed. He tugged on her ankle, and she quickly scrambled over to him so he could pick her up. 

“Since you’ve been such a good girl,” he cooed, nuzzling her neck, “I’m going to help you set up the X4 now. I’ll teach you a few neat tricks only us tech guys know.”

Rey watched him cautiously. “Really?”

“Yes, sweetness. We can download some helpful apps, and I’ll check to make sure everything’s perfect.”

Well, that was kind of exciting. After all, attaining a new phone had been the original goal for the day. Once she had a fully functioning X4 in her hands, she bet this would all be worth it. 

“But first we have to get clean,” Ben said, squeezing her ass. He led them into the master bath and slid into the gleaming shower stall. There was lots of space in here, and a solid white bench against one wall. 

“I can shower by myself,” she informed him, wiggling and pushing against his chest. Even though he’d said sixteen was too young, she _wasn’t_ a baby. 

“You sure can,” he cooed, kissing her neck. “But my little girl is going to shower with me today.”

Rey frowned but stopped resisting. _Don’t hit me,_ she wanted to remind him. The constant threat of physical punishment loomed in the back of her mind. Her mother was always trying to get her to behave; maybe now Rey would put in the effort, if it made Ben happy. His methods were definitely effective. 

“Will you wash my hair?” she whispered, voice small. 

Rey still cursed the day her DNA decided to go with her father’s drab brown hair instead of Kaydel’s perfect blonde locks. Over the years she’d managed to make her hair more appealing by lightening it with blonde highlights, but she still worried constantly about its maintenance. She needed to look good at all times or no one would pay any attention to her. 

“Of course,” Ben assured her, twisting the knob for hot water. “I’m going to take care of you, Rey. Don’t worry about a thing.”

But she was worried. The worry was a constant ache in her chest. About her parents, about her appearance, about Finn’s absence, and now...about Ben. 

He would order her to do what he wanted and she knew, as he sauntered over and took a seat on the shower bench, that she would do whatever he said. She still loved him, but now the love was different. More complex. Even though he scared her sometimes, the thought of him withdrawing his affections or not being around anymore was unbearable. 

Ben carefully untangled their limbs and placed her on her feet between his spread legs. He gently but firmly forced her down to her knees, and her hands instinctively balled into fists on his big thighs. She peered up at him nervously. 

“Suck me off again, baby,” he murmured, eyes like coal. He cradled the back of her head in one huge palm. “Make me proud.”

 _I don’t want to disappoint,_ Rey thought wearily, and lowered her head.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soft pop music played on the radio as Ben maneuvered the Porsche through late rush-hour traffic. One hand on the wheel, one on her thigh, he smiled absently as he drove.

Rey’s jaw ached. She gently poked and prodded, wincing a little at the pain. She didn’t want Ben to notice, so she kept her head turned to the side. Beyond the window, tourists in floral prints and baggy shorts wandered the sidewalks in search of a new photo-op.

Her mouth was a normal size—at least according to Cosmo—but Ben’s cock must’ve just been too big because any time she put the tiniest bit of pressure on her jaw, it seized up and sent a flash of pure agony through her head like a migraine on steroids. Her eyes were _constantly_ watering, which was extremely irritating. Thank goodness for waterproof mascara.

“How are you feeling over there, sweetness?” Ben’s hand massaged her thigh, and despite herself she savored the touch. 

“Okay,” she mumbled, staring through the windshield. 

“Are you still upset?”

She shook her head carefully. 

He sighed. “Baby, I wish you’d use your words. You’re a big girl. Tell me how you feel.”

“I—I’m just tired,” she stammered, peeking at him from the corner of her eye. “And a little sore.”

“Poor baby,” he murmured, fingers swirling lazily on her bare skin. “You got quite the workout today, didn’t you?”

“I don’t like exercise.” Rey didn’t know why she blurted that. Maybe because—if he knew how much pain she was in—he might change his mind about their arrangement. Or at least promise not to hit her again. That would be more than enough.

But Ben only laughed and glanced away from the road to wink at her. “Oh, give it time. That’ll change.”

She pressed her thighs together, remembering the way he’d thrust into her, as if possessed. The look on his face had been...wild. Like he was experiencing every emotion at once. No one had ever looked at her like that. Now she craved his attention like someone gone a week without water. 

The Porsche glided to a stop in front of Rey’s house. The door was open, and she could see into the empty foyer. She almost rolled her eyes. Her mother had likely gone to fetch the mail and then forgotten to close the door behind her. Kaydel was so absent-minded.

“Ben,” she said tentatively. Her fingers picked at the frayed denim of her shorts.

Her uncle put the car into park and draped an arm over the back of her seat. “What is it, baby?”

“I, um, want to tell Mom. About us.” Rey swallowed convulsively, afraid of his reaction. She trusted him enough to bring this up, but her gaze still swept the car for any makeshift weapons within reach. 

“That’s probably not a good idea,” he said softly. His fingers stroked gently through her damp hair. “Your mom won’t understand.”

“Won’t she?” Rey straightened in her seat, energized by a new thought. “But Mom is _years_ younger than Dad. They have the same age gap as us! I think she’s the one person who might _really_ get it, you know?”

Although she wasn’t really sure what _it_ was. They weren’t in a relationship. They weren’t even casual fuck buddies like Finn and Rose—yeah, she knew about that. Ben was her uncle, and she was in high school. They’d done some bad things together, but didn’t every family? Her mom had a right to know. 

Ben tilted his head and gave her a long, searching look. It was odd. Like he was really seeing her for the first time—or reassessing his opinion. Rey didn’t know how to react, so she just stared back. 

“Okay,” he said, very slow and clear. “You can tell Kaydel.” She started to smile, but he held up a finger. “However.”

She pouted and crossed her arms. 

“If you do, she probably won’t let you come over anymore. Which _means_ ,” he added, before she could shrug and tell him that wasn’t a big deal since he always came to their house anyway, “you’ll have to repay me for the phone, Rey. In cash.”

She blanched. Repay the _three grand_? That would take her years! 

“Do you have that kind of money?” he asked gently, a crease forming between his eyebrows. 

Rey swallowed and shook her head. The migraine was gone, though her jaw still ached. In its place was a sharp, jabbing pain that promised future torment if she couldn’t figure this out. Her stomach was twisting into knots even now. 

“Didn’t think so,” he said sadly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “That’s a lot of money you’ll owe me, sweetheart.”

Rey bit her lip and stared into her lap. She didn’t know how to handle this. Money problems were her parents’ domain. Usually she just asked and they tossed her a credit card or hundred dollar bill. 

“Not to mention,” he continued, running a hand down his face, “all my carefully laid plans for you will be ruined.”

“Plans?”

Ben gave her a lopsided smile. “It was supposed to be a surprise, but…” He shrugged and looked out the windshield. Her next-door neighbor Mon Mothma was walking her pretty white Poodle. They wore matching green sun hats. 

“I was going to convince Kaydel to let you move in with me,” he said, not looking at her. “If you’re going to work for me full-time, I think it’s only fair you live with me full-time too. Besides, you’re old enough to fend for yourself.” He eyed her closely. “Aren’t you?”

 _Move in with him._

Rey’s heart was stuck in her throat. Move out? On her _own_? No parents? The idea was simultaneously ludicrous and the most exciting thing she could imagine. None of her friends were living on their own! In fact, most people she knew stayed with their parents until their _twenties_ , unless they went away for college. Imagine moving out at _sixteen_. Like a real adult. Rose would be _so_ jealous. 

No more dawn wake-up calls from her mother, a notorious early-riser. No more lectures on _doing homework_ and _staying up too late_ and _wearing inappropriate clothing_. Her mother nagged her constantly about that last one as if Rey didn’t use Daddy’s credit card to buy it all. Ben might have some rules in place, but he was pretty casual about everything. She would have so much _freedom_. 

Ben was watching her face. He smiled when she laughed and covered her mouth in disbelief. “You like that idea, huh?”

“Yes!" she admitted "Can I move in? Like, yesterday?”

Ben grinned and smoothed his hand over the back of her head, cradling it in his palm. “It’ll take plenty of persuading on my end, but by the end of the summer, we’ll see what she says. I’m sure I can convince your mother to let you go by then. Although....” He trailed off thoughtfully.

“What?” she gasped, leaning over the center console. 

He shrugged casually. “Maybe I can make it happen sooner. We’ll see.” 

The end of summer was still three full months away. Now that the idea was dangling in front of her, Rey knew she couldn’t resist it. She would berate Kaydel day and night until she gave in. 

She licked her lips. “I want to live with you.”

“Are you sure?” He looked unconvinced. “Aren’t you still upset?”

Rey, unlike her mother, was very smart when it came to cost and benefit analysis. No one really paid attention to her grades—as long as she wasn’t failing, she was pretty much guaranteed a spot at an Ivy League university, thanks to her dad’s connections. But she knew how to get a desired outcome, especially if that outcome was personally important to her. So yes, she had already weighed the pros and cons of living with him. 

No parents, no bedtime, no lectures or punishments or nagging. No gross foods—the memory of that green-bean chili was still disgustingly fresh in her mind—and no stupid chores. 

Then there was Ben. His house was just as big as her parents’, and he had at least three extra bedrooms she could choose from. He didn’t really care about homework or bedtimes, and since he made a decent amount of money she could still probably persuade him to lend her some when needed.

There were plenty of pros, and the cons really only boiled down to one: blowjobs. She didn’t mind him taking her to bed—whether that meant in the living room or the shower or anywhere else—because she kind of enjoyed the fact that Ben couldn’t keep his hands off her. Sure, the umbrella thing had hurt, and so had the blowjobs. (She really could not reiterate it enough: the BJs in particular had been _awful_.) But he paid her so much attention and bought her so many cool gifts that it sort of evened out. Plus she got to have really good sex with someone who knew what they were doing. If she lived with Ben, they could practice _all the time_. 

Rey had never been called attention-seeking, but that was only because she hid it well. In truth, she loved when people gave her their undivded attention, especially men. Around Ben, though, she never had to pretend—he always showered her with praise and affection and gifts. She could suffer through a little discomfort every now and then for all that, couldn’t she? 

“No,” she said finally, and tugged his arm around her shoulders. “I’m not mad anymore.”

His eyes lightened to a warm amber, and he quickly adjusted the seat settings so he could drag her into his lap. It was a tight fit, but Rey was tiny. Her heart beat fast, but she hooked her arms around his neck and smiled. 

“I love you,” she whispered, pouring all of her emotions into her eyes. She really did. 

“I love you too, sweetheart,” he said, kissing her slowly. He tasted wonderful, and Rey arched her back to press closer. His hands drifted to her waist. “You’re my favorite person.”

“Please let me move in with you, Ben.” She cradled his face and brushed her nose over his. Men liked it when you fawned over them. “ _Please_.”

He growled low in his throat and spread his thighs as far as they could go in such close quarters, flexing his hips so his cock fit snugly between her legs. Her breath caught. 

“Whatever you want, baby,” he said huskily. “I’ll give you everything.”

“Talk to my mom?” What she _wanted_ was to get out of that house, and she would give Ben a dozen blowjobs a day if that was what it took. Even if it hurt. 

“Soon,” he promised, and proceeded to kiss her breathless for the next ten minutes. The kisses were slow and soft and tender. They said _I love you_ in a hundred different ways. Despite all he’d done, Rey did love her uncle. She loved him more than just about anyone except her parents and Rose. Maybe Finn, if he would ever talk to her again. 

_Rose._ A small smile edged at the corners of her mouth. She couldn’t wait to rub it in--she’d had _sex_. The first of her friend group! After months of wondering what it would be like, months of staring enviously at Bazine Netal, who'd lost her virginity around Christmas, Rey had finally gotten to experience true pleasure. Inevitably this bit of gossip would spread around the local internet by the end of the week. Of course, it was a little disappointing she couldn’t tell Rose _who_ she’d had sex with, but still. She was a woman now, and everybody desired experienced women. 

They were still eagerly kissing when Ben’s phone rang. Startled, Rey pulled back, lips wet and swollen. Ben grumbled, annoyed, but flipped open the center console where he stored his phone. He checked the display, rolled his eyes, and answered. 

“Yeah?”

“I can see you parked at the curb.” Her mom’s voice was, as usual, easily identifiable as it was both high-pitched and lightly accented. “What are you two doing out there?”

Ben winked and palmed her breast. “Rey and I are having a little heart-to-heart.”

 _Well, you could say that._ She giggled, worries forgotten, and kissed his cheek. Ben’s free hand slid around her to rub soothing circles on her back. She laid her head on his chest as her eyes grew heavy. 

“Well, hurry up. She needs to finish organizing the bathroom drawer. Those lotions aren’t going to alphabetize themselves.” 

Rey groaned and rolled her eyes to the roof of the car. What was with her mom and bathroom chores? _So_ nasty. As if she wanted to spend time near a toilet. Once she lived with Ben, she wouldn’t have to do any of that. 

Ben darted in and snuck a quick kiss to her throat. “She’ll be right in.” 

They said their goodbyes, and Ben dropped his phone back into the center console. Rey pouted unhappily. 

“Don’t do that, baby.” He kissed her forehead. 

“I don’t wanna do chores,” she grumbled. After such a long and exhausting day, all she wanted to do was play with her new phone. She still had to text Rose. 

“Do what your mom asks,” Ben said, running his hands up and down her arms. “Soon you won’t have to worry about any of that. A cleaning crew comes in twice a month at home.”

“You have a cleaning crew?” Rey’s eyes popped wide. She had no idea why her parents didn’t do the same. Oh, wait—because they had _her_. Ugh. 

He nodded, pleased with her reaction. “Yes, baby. Though I might have them clean once a week after you move in. That way—“ Ben leaned close to whisper in her ear, his faint stubble catching in her hair. “—I can bend you over any surface in the house and have my way with you.” 

Rey’s mouth went desert dry. She became all too conscious of the dick molded to the seat of her pants. Trembling, she pressed her lips to his mouth, and he eagerly kissed her back, tongue diving into her mouth like he needed to taste all of her here and now. 

Eventually Ben leaned back and smiled. “I’ll see you later, okay? Behave while I’m gone.”

She nodded quickly, and they exchanged one last, toe-curling kiss before he released her. She scrambled to the passenger seat and then out of the car altogether, cheeks burning. _He loves me, he loves me, Ben_ loves _me._

“Bye!” she said, waving awkwardly. 

He blew her a kiss, which only made her blush harder, and then she was flying up the steps of the house. She shut the front door without looking back, and a few seconds later the gentle purr of the Porsche’s engine grew to a roar as Ben drove away.

Heart pounding, Rey stared blankly at her quiet house. _I’ll be out of here soon. A few weeks, maybe. More than enough time to pack everything._

“Rey?” Kaydel’s voice came from the kitchen. “Is that you?”

“Yeah!” she called back, voice shaking. God, she needed to get a hold of herself. Now that she knew what was at stake, there was no way she’d jeopardize her chance at freedom. 

“The bathroom’s waiting for you!”

Rey huffed and rolled her eyes.

 _A few weeks and then I’m gone. Uncle Ben will convince Mom, I know he will. He said he’ll do anything for me._

She would hold him to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **upped the chapter count oopsie 🙈**
> 
> **worked on this for far too long and now im throwing it out there before i spontaneously combust**


	4. emergent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [SCREAMS IN FORMATTING]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **ben:** let me see what you have  
>  **rey:** a KNIFE  
>  **ben:** nO

Her phone chimed three times in a row, and Rey suppressed a grin. Holding the X4 close to her face, she swiped up. 

Sat 10:03 a.m.

**ROSE**

_bitch shut UP! those pics r legit professional 🤭_

_can we do a photoshoot soon? but let me find a good bathing suit 1st_

_and then we need to find a way to send Hux the pics...not that i care what he thinks_

With a groan, Rey flung herself back on her bed, scrolling through the selfies she’d taken earlier. Even if they had to send Hux whatever half-naked pictures Rose wanted her to take, there was no way she was doing it near a pool. Not after last time.

Rey was still pissed that the damning evidence she’d gotten of her friend’s crush on Hux hadn't been saved before her phone crashed. What a waste. Now Rose was determined to act casual by sending bikini pics to him like it was no big deal. It _reeked_ of desperation. 

Sat 10:07 a.m.

**REY**  
_maybe later today? no pool shoot tho_

**ROSE**

👎🏻

**REY**  
_im not gonna risk damaging my precious!!_

**ROSE**

_lol i guess that’s true_

**REY**  
 _u can still wear a bathing suit, just not within thirty feet of any water_ 😇

**ROSE**

_uh huh….what does it matter if something happens??_

_ur uncle can just buy u a new one!_ 🤦🏻

**REY**  
😡 _he’s not made of money! plus my mom would be super pissed_

She actually didn’t know for sure whether Ben made lots of money or not. Like, she _assumed_ he did, based on the size of his house and all the nice things he owned, but it wasn’t like she’d ever demanded to see his paychecks. Either way, he was an adult—obviously he could afford things. 

_He’s not made of money_ is something her mom always said about Daddy when Rey begged for a new pair of shoes or, for instance, the revamped Michael Kors summer design. _He’s not made of money_ didn’t make a whole lot of sense, however, when you considered that Kaydel herself pretty much went shopping two or three times a week. Talk about hypocritical.

Sat 10:14 a.m.

**ROSE**

💰💰💰💰

**REY**  
 _nope_

**ROSE**

🍭 _sugar daddy sugar daddy_ 🍭

**REY**  
 _omg STOP_

**ROSE**

_🍭SUGAR🍭DADDY🍭_

Rey laughed out loud. She couldn’t help herself. The girl was so obnoxious, and she didn’t have any qualms about her over-use of emojis to make a point. 

Sat 10:16 a.m.

, **REY**  
_how can he be my sugar DADDY when he’s my uncle?!?!_ 🤔

**ROSE**

_girl don’t be dumb, daddy doesn’t mean actual DAD_

**REY**  
 _ok...and how would u know?_

**ROSE**

😉

**REY**  
 _!!!! r u hiding something???_

**ROSE**

_LOL no loser! it’s called the internet 😘 keep up, rey_

**REY**  
 _ur so weird_

**ROSE**

_uh huh whatever 😌 all i know is that ur uncle is hot as hell & he literally gives u whatever u want **sigh**_

_Hot as hell._ Rey’s stomach fluttered nervously. Was Rose saying she had a crush on Ben too? Jannah and Bazine had already mentioned they’d absolutely love to _bang him_ if given the chance. She didn’t know what she’d do if her best friend decided to jump on the Bang-Ben bandwagon.

Downstairs Mom loudly opened and closed the refrigerator, and a second later the microwave beeped. She was probably working on lunch already; meals were a big deal in their house, especially since Kaydel had started her amateur chef phase two months ago. Whatever. When her parents weren’t commenting on the pace of her eating— _too slow, c’mon, Rey, hurry it up, what are you waiting for_ —the food was actually really yummy. 

Rey swigged from her water bottle and debated how to respond to Rose.

Sat 10:21 a.m.

**REY**  
_that’s bc Uncle Ben loves me_ 💕

**ROSE**

_maybe he’s IN love with u lol_

She coughed and nearly choked on her water. Obviously Rose didn’t know about their arrangement, but still—where had she gotten _that_ idea? It wasn’t like she and Ben went around holding hands and proclaiming their affections to the masses. Well, actually, Ben _did_ do that sometimes...but as a _joke_. 

Sat 10:23 a.m.

**REY**  
_what does that mean??_

**ROSE**

🤷🏻 _u guys r super close and he DOES kiss u a lot_

**REY**  
 _he’s FAMILY & comes by the house like 3 times a week, of course we’re close??_

**ROSE**

_maybe he visits so much bc he wants to see u_ 😍

**REY**  
 _whatever_

**ROSE**

_all im saying is if Ben was MY uncle I wouldn’t mind him getting a lil handsy with me_

**REY**  
 _good thing he’s NOT ur uncle then huh_

Okay, enough was enough. Rose was starting to piss her off. Since she didn’t have any siblings, Rey was often lonely, and she was easily bored. Her dad worked and now basically _lived_ at his office downtown, and Kaydel was usually involved with some sort of book club or wine tasting or sex toy demonstration with the rest of the rich suburban moms.

Luckily, Ben was just a phone call or quick Uber ride away. They _were_ close, but that wasn’t weird, and she resented Rose for trying to make it seem that way. It wasn’t weird that he loved her so much; their relationship was special. Ben always told her so. 

Before she could send an angry text in response, her phone dinged.

**ROSE**

_hey dont be mad!! 🥺 i meant it in a good way! im happy someone loves u as much as I do 💖 ur parents don’t exactly shower u with attention_

All too true.

Rey sighed and glanced around her room. She owned mountains of clothes and purses and jewelry, and she had her own bathroom, but the material things sometimes didn’t cheer her up as much as a smile from her mother or a bear hug from her father did. It wasn’t _their_ fault she was ungrateful—she knew that. But she did miss having all their attention like when she was younger. Lately they seemed to have grown even more distant. Rey tried not to let it upset her.

Sat 10:30 a.m.

**REY**  
 _theyre just busy 🤷🏻 anyway i should probs eat breakfast_

**ROSE**

_same here. i only got up because u texted me those selfies_ 👀

**REY**  
 _wait!! before u go, rate my outfit_

She bounced off the bed and stood in front of her floor-to-ceiling mirror. Today’s outfit was a pair of pink overalls over a plain white t-shirt. Sometimes when she wasn’t feeling her best, Rey would dedicate extra time to her outfit. Her hair was loose, and she’d gotten a _great_ tan over the holiday weekend. But still. A second opinion was always nice. Rose always offered enthusiastic validation, and Rey always took advantage of it. That’s what friends did. 

She snapped a quick picture, posing with her hand on her hip—that wasn’t too cheesy, right?—and sent it to Rose. The response was immediate.

Sat 10: 35 a.m.

**ROSE**

_OMG!! girl that look is_ 🔥

**REY**  
 _u sure? it’s not too plain?_

**ROSE**

_absolutely not!! legs for dayyyyys_

Rey grinned at her reflection. Her legs did look really nice in these shorts.

Sat 10:37 a.m.

**ROSE**

_u know what? add that necklace Finn gave u last xmas._

_the one with the interlocking hearts?_

Her jewelry box was embarrassingly full, and although she’d been meaning to reorganize it, that hadn’t happened yet—Rey knew if she waited long enough, Kaydel would get frustrated and do it herself. She was a control freak, of course, like that wasn’t obvious.

After a few minutes of annoyed searching, Rey managed to pluck a sterling silver necklace from the pile. She held it up triumphantly and snapped a pic.

Sat 10:41 a.m.

**REY**  
 _this one, right?_

**ROSE**

_yup!!! 🙏🏼 super cute!_

**REY**  
 _should I send Finn that pic? he’ll be happy im wearing it for once lol_

**ROSE**

_u can but i texted him a few minutes ago & he said he’s busy_😣

**REY**  
 _of course_

Downstairs, Mom called, “Rey, are you eating today?” Which made her roll her eyes. She made it sound like Rey went days and _days_ at a time without eating. Her mom was so dramatic.

Sat 10:44 a.m.

**REY**  
 _gotta go, my mom’s nagging_ 😒

**ROSE**

_ok see ya later babe!_ 💖

**REY**  
💛💛💛

With a sigh, Rey slipped her phone into the back pocket of her overalls and skipped down to the kitchen where her mother was banging around. There was turkey bacon on the table, eggs frying on a skillet, and whole wheat pancakes steaming on a large plate. 

“There you are! It’s almost noon,” Mom scolded. “This schedule isn’t going to work for Uncle Ben, you know.”

Rey nibbled on a piece of bacon. “Why not? He works from home. Can’t I just go over there whenever I wake up?” 

Mom threw her an unamused look. “You can’t drive, missy. Who do you expect to chauffeur you over there?”

She shrugged and took a seat at the table. “I’ll call an Uber if you’re busy.”

“That’s a waste of money,” Kaydel said, exasperated. “Honestly, Rey, Daddy needs to teach you money management or at least basic budgeting.”

“If I ever see him again,” she muttered, and her mother stiffened.

“You know your father provides for us,” she lectured, gesturing with the spatula. “We wouldn’t be able to buy all these nice things without him.” 

_So should I get down on my knees and kiss his feet?_ Rey thought darkly. _Or maybe I should just suck him off too. Make it a family affair._

“I know,” she said simply, avoiding her mother’s gaze. It was best not to argue with her; Rey didn’t want to ruin the rest of her day. 

Ever since she’d started puberty four years ago, their relationship had gotten very rocky. Screaming fights, broken perfume bottles, casual insults—the works. Rey knew her mom was just jealous she was getting too old. 

The spatula clinked as Kaydel set it down on the counter and lowered the temperature of the skillet. Eggs were done. They smelled like grease and cheddar. Her mom must’ve added some shredded cheese when she wasn’t looking. Rey’s stomach turned. 

“Honey.” Mom came over and gently settled a hand on Rey’s head. “You should really...get some lotion for those bites. You don’t want them to scar.”

Rey flushed. Last night, after she left Ben’s car and met her mother in the living room, Kaydel had exclaimed over the marks on Rey’s neck, horrified and strangely frightened, like she suspected Rey was in the process of transforming into a hideous monster. She’d assured Kaydel that everything was fine; she and Ben had eaten on the patio at his house, she’d lied, and Rey had gotten a few too many bug bites. 

Because bug bites _bruised_ , right? She suppressed a snort. Her mother was so _stupid_. 

“Sure thing, Mom,” she drawled, ripping her bacon into teeny little pieces. “I’ll get right on that.” 

Her mother lightly tapped the side of her head. “Don’t be rude.”

Rey slumped back in her chair and stared moodily into the backyard. Her mother’s straight-backed reflection caught her eyes. Kaydel was wearing beige slacks with a cream-colored blouse, white house slippers on her feet and a diamond necklace shimmering around her throat. She hummed softly as she worked, scooping up eggs and pouring the last of the pancake batter onto the skillet. The perfect housewife. 

Rey wanted to barf.

It all seemed so mind-numbing. Dressing like a _modest woman_ , cooking and baking three times a day, maintaining the inside of the house (the men took care of the outside), and hosting monthly parties so all their friends wouldn’t forget how well-connected and _nouveau riche_ they were. All this posturing made Rey want to claw her eyes out of her head. 

No wonder she was so bored. Although she wouldn’t mind having kids one day, nothing about this domestic life appealed to her. It was so wasteful and repetitive. All she wanted to do was go shopping and work on her tan and maybe find a boyfriend. Well, if Uncle Ben would stop scaring them away, which at this point seemed...unlikely.

Which reminded her.

“Mom?” she asked tentatively. She needed to choose her words carefully. 

“What’s up?” Kaydel slid a plate full of cheesy eggs in front of her on the table and took a seat. 

“How...can you tell when someone likes you?” Rey tapped the edge of her plate nervously. Ben didn’t want her talking about their arrangement, and she understood why, but she also needed some feedback from someone who had experience. 

Kaydel scooped a spoonful of eggs into her mouth. “Why, do you have a boy in mind?”

Her cheeks reddened. It was a simple question. Why did she have to be so _nosy_? “Never mind, I’ll—“

“Relax,” her mother said with a laugh. “No need to get embarrassed. You can tell when someone likes you—not just a boy, either—if they go out of their way to talk to you. Phone, text, even email. In person is always best though,” she said with a sly wink.

“ _Mom_.” 

“Okay, okay.” Kaydel held up her hands innocently. “If someone likes you, they’ll smile and laugh just because you’re there. They’ll want to hold hands and hug and maybe even kiss.” She gasped and placed a hand over her chest.

Rey laughed despite herself. “Imagine. _Kissing_.” 

Mom’s smile softened. “Have you kissed anyone?”

For a moment she remained absolutely frozen. _Lie, don’t lie,_ she fretted. _Lie, don’t lie._ She had to make a snap decision while also preparing to face all the many possible repercussions for each. 

“Yeah,” she said casually, playing with her food. The pancakes were still very warm, and at least they were whole wheat. They probably wouldn’t upset her stomach, which Kaydel called _terribly sensitive_. 

“Oh, _details_ , please.” Kaydel set down her fork and propped her chin in her hands. 

“Absolutely not!” Rey glared at her mother, although she couldn’t suppress a smile. “That’s for me to know.”

“Sure,” Mom said, waving a nonchalant hand, but Rey knew she was already calculating how to worm the answer out of her. Good luck. 

“I have another question,” she said suddenly, all too aware that she was treading dangerously close to a line she shouldn’t cross. “What if the person who likes you is…um, mean to you?”

_If he hit you. If he used an umbrella and then his hand, not once but twice. What does that say about his love? Can it really be called that?_

Kaydel frowned. “Well, I’d ask them why.” 

“And then?” 

“Depending on their answer, I’d either forgive them or tell them to leave me alone.”

She didn’t believe that would really work, but it was a nice thought. “ _Can_ you forgive them?”

“If it was an accident. Or if…” Kaydel studied her intently. “If they only did it out of love. Misplaced love, maybe, but...love.”

Ben had told her again and again how much he loved her, how he would do anything to please her, and how he was going to take care of her no matter what. She didn’t doubt his _love_. If what her mother said was true, then maybe, if it didn’t happen again...she could forgive him. That would be so much easier, and then they could go back to how they were. Silly and cuddly and loving and _fun_. 

“Okay,” she said, nodding. “Thanks, Mom.”

Kaydel seemed surprised. She picked up her fork again. “Oh. You’re welcome.” She eyed Rey’s plate. “Here. Have some eggs.”

She stared at the two greasy circles with distaste. “I’m not super hungry.”

“Rey,” her mother sighed. “You haven’t eaten anything.”

“That’s not true!” she said indignantly. “I had two pieces of bacon already!” Okay, only one, but still. A _big_ piece. 

Kaydel groaned and shook her head. “You don’t need to worry about your figure, Rey. I know girls your age—“

“Mom, stop,” she complained, rolling her eyes. It was too early for another lecture. “I’m not dieting. That’s ridiculous. I’m just not hungry. Okay?”

“I don’t think—“ 

“Can’t we talk about something else?” Rey crossed her arms defiantly. Food talk always made her anxious.

“Fine,” Kaydel relented. She cut up a pancake into small pieces and dipped one into sugar-free syrup. Gross. “How was your first day on the job?”

“What?” 

“Your job,” Mom repeated. “As Uncle Ben’s assistant.”

Oh. Right. The job that wasn’t really a job. A job that demanded less and yet significantly more of her than that of an assistant. A job that had plenty of _special_ benefits. 

“It’s fine,” she said, concentrating on her plate. 

“Do you think it’ll be easy?”

Rey shrugged and scratched her neck. The bite marks were really itchy.

“Tell my brother that it’s okay to work you hard,” Kaydel said, grinning. “I’m sure he has plenty for you to do.”

She suppressed a shiver. _Work you hard._ Uh, yeah. You could say that. It reminded her of Ben’s comment from yesterday. _You got quite the workout today, didn’t you?_

“What if he works me too hard?” she blurted. “You don’t think Ben will be a mean boss, do you?” 

“ _Uncle_ Ben,” she corrected with a small frown. “And no, honey. Ben’s always been so affectionate with you—anyone can see he loves you very much . You’re his favorite person, I think.” Kaydel laughed lightly. “You know, your father and I used to go out all the time, and we’d leave you two alone for hours. Sometimes days, if we went away for a long weekend. I think all that babysitting really strengthened your relationship.” For a second a sad expression crossed her face, like the memory of her and Dad’s vacations hurt. 

But then she shook her head. “My brother loves you almost as much as your father and I do. He would never run you ragged, Rey.” 

She swallowed and nodded. Of course he wouldn’t. That whole slapping thing was obviously just a one-off. Ben had been really upset with her, and probably for good reason. Everyone was always calling her a spoiled brat, even her friends. She couldn’t fault him for keeping her in line. 

“You have plans this weekend?” 

Rey picked up her water glass and sipped. “Rose will probably be over later. She wants to use my new camera.”

“Ah, yes, the infamous X4.” Mom shook her head ruefully. “I still can’t believe Ben let you get that.”

“Ben did what?”

Both Rey and her mother jumped at the voice. Ben stood in the doorway to the kitchen, dressed in dark jeans and a black shirt. He was grinning, eyes fixed on Rey, who flushed and looked down. 

“Ben!” Kaydel surged to her feet, a smile swallowing her surprise. “I didn’t even hear you come in! Way to creep up on us.” 

“The door was unlocked,” he scolded, embracing his sister. “You really need to be more careful when it’s just the two of you.”

Rey saw her mom wince. _Just the two of you._ As if Daddy didn’t live here too. Even if it was only part-time now.

“Did you eat?” Kaydel asked, gesturing at the table. “Rey’s still working on her breakfast.”

She huffed and rolled her eyes. Here it was: the bullying. “I’m finished.”

“ _No_ , you most certainly are not,” Mom said, shaking a stern finger at Rey. She smiled wryly at Ben and returned to the table to clean up her spot. “Never a dull moment.” 

Oh, be quiet. Rey hated when her mom excluded her and fell into “adult-speak.” Like she wasn’t still there and could understand every insulting word. Besides, she wasn’t being difficult just to _be difficult_ , despite what they thought. Maybe if her mother asked her directly, Rey could explain that sometimes the very idea of food overwhelmed her. She didn’t know why or even when it started; one morning she’d woken up and just been slightly revolted at the thought of food. 

“Mom,” she snapped, crossing her arms, “I told you I’m not _hungry._ Leave me alone.” 

Kaydel ignored her daughter and brought the dishes to the sink. “What brings you here today, Ben?”

Like she said—adult-speak. Rey grumbled and glared out the window, tuning them both out for the moment. Her mother _never_ listened. She expected Rey to always be respectful and honest and blah blah blah, but when she told her mother something important, it was completely ignored. Even something as small as _I’m not hungry_ was regarded with suspicion and disbelief.

“I wanted to drop off a few things.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Rey could see Ben looking at her, but she wasn’t in the mood to entertain him. Her mother had already done a pretty decent job of ruining her morning, in spite of their earlier conversation. He would make things worse by taking Kaydel’s side because she was a _responsible adult_ and Rey was a _moody teenager_. 

Besides, it was the weekend; she didn’t have to “work” today. Her jaw still ached. She might just throw herself out a window if he forced her to give him head again. 

But then Ben placed a few bags on the kitchen table, and Rey’s curiosity immediately spiked. Bags meant new things, and she was always looking to show them off on her social media. She hadn’t even noticed he was carrying anything, which meant they were probably gifts. 

“What’s that?” she asked mildly, rising from her seat to get a closer look.

“Rey…”

She gestured sharply at her mother, annoyed. “I’ll finish it later.”

Kaydel sighed but didn’t argue.

There were two bags with distinct logos: Chanel and Balmain. The third bag was just plain black plastic. Disappointed, she sank back into her seat as Kaydel finished cleaning the table. They were probably gifts for her mother; stupid shit like candles or curtains. Ben and her mother were constantly trading gifts back and forth, like it was some kind of competition. 

“Are those for me?” Sure enough, Mom’s eyes were bright, and she clapped excitedly like a kid. She poked at the Balmain bag with barely leashed enthusiasm. Her mother was a tiger when it came to high-end name-brand products: she was greedy and weirdly ferocious,; one time she even _snarled_ at Rey when she got too close to a limited edition set of Yankee candles. 

Ben scratched the back of his head, shirt pulling tight around his biceps. She tried not to stare, especially when he turned around and said, “Ah, actually, these are for Rey.”

All her once, her interest reignited. “What do you mean?” Rey leaned forward in her chair but didn’t rise. It wouldn’t do to seem _too_ eager. Desperation didn't look good on anybody. 

“I went shopping last night after I dropped you off and saw some things you might like. So...I bought them.” He shrugged, but Rey could tell he was nervous, which was sweet. Her bad mood vanished instantly. 

“Can I open them?” She clasped her hands under her chin. “ _Please?_ ”

“Of course, baby.” His smile was soft and slow, just for her, and her thighs clenched under the table. 

She wanted to yank him down and kiss him all over, maybe lick his neck like he did to her sometimes in the heat of the moment. She bet he tasted like spicy cologne. 

But she kept these thoughts to herself and instead cheered and reached for the Balmain bag first. This was a brand she was only vaguely familiar with; there weren’t any physical stories nearby, and Kaydel complained too much about the shipping prices. 

Rey tore away the neatly folded tissue paper and yanked out a pink crossbody purse. There were buckles and straps and a big B logo right in the center. 

Rey gasped and stroked a finger over the fabric. “Wow! This is so _cute_.”

“A fringe shoulder bag?” Kaydel muttered, peering over her shoulder with a small pout. 

“I don’t care _what_ it’s called,” Rey said, beaming up at Ben. It perfectly matched her outfit. “I love it. Thank you, Ben!”

“There’s more,” he reminded her softly, and gestured to the other bags. He leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed and attention on her—just how she liked it. 

Rey greedily opened the Chanel bag next. Inside were three glass bottles of their signature perfume. The bottles clacked together as she held them in her fists, open-mouthed.

“Oh my god,” Kaydel groaned, glaring at her brother. “Seriously, Ben? What the hell?”

Rey snorted, then covered her mouth when her mother shot her a furious look. Kaydel was just jealous that Ben hadn’t bought anything for her to fuss over for once. Rey didn’t get nearly as many presents as an only child should. 

Her uncle shrugged his massive shoulders. “I thought these would make her happy, Kay.” 

“Trust me, we won’t hear the end of it,” Mom said with an aggrieved sigh. 

Rey was already reaching for the last, unmarked bag. There were two sealed boxes inside, both taped shut: one black and one pink. She pouted and yanked at the lids, but neither would open. More childproofing, and Rey was reminded yet again that everyone around her still thought her young and incapable. Which was garbage, but whatever. 

Or, well...

“Ben,” she whined, holding out the pink box, eyes wide and unhappy. “I can’t open this!” 

He chuckled and took the box, their fingers brushing. “You’ll probably need scissors, sweetness. They really make these things next to bulletproof.”

She turned automatically for the utensil drawer, but her mom sighed and said, “Actually, I think I left them upstairs. I was twirling ribbon for the hall vase. They should be in my room.”

“Fine.” Impatient, Rey yanked out a slim butcher knife and held it aloft. “We can just use this instead.”

“Whoa!” Ben clucked his tongue and gently lifted the knife out of her fingers, holding her wrist. “Yeah, I don’t think so. I don’t want you hurting yourself.” 

She groaned and stomped out of the kitchen. There was always _something_. Inconvenience on top of inconvenience. “Where in your room, Mom?” 

“My bureau!” she called back, and Rey imagined her shaking her head. Well, maybe if the scissors were in the right place to _begin_ with...

She raced upstairs to her parents’ bedroom, tamping down her anger. Things were never where they were supposed to be in this damn house. Hopefully, in a few short weeks, she wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore. Ben was super organized. 

The scissors were on the _floor_ by the bureau, not atop it, which Mom probably figured was close enough. Case in point. For all her mom’s nagging about chores, she was notoriously disorganized herself. 

Rey grabbed them and skipped back downstairs. She paused on the threshold of the kitchen. Ben and her mother were talking in subdued voices, which meant they didn’t want her to overhear. _Oh, we're telling secrets now, huh?_

“I think Rey has a boyfriend.” Her mother’s voice was soft but firm, like she didn’t just _think_ —she _knew._

Ben laughed sharply. “Excuse me?”

“She has hickies all over her neck. I mean, she told me they were bug bites, but c’mon. I wasn’t born yesterday.” Kaydel snorted bitterly. “I was her age not so long ago.”

Surprised, Rey blinked. Okay, so maybe her mother wasn’t so stupid after all. Or maybe it was just really easy to tell a bug bite from a hickey. She should’ve done some research first. 

Rey clicked her nails on the door frame so they would know she was back and strode into the kitchen, acting completely oblivious. Kaydel smiled, though it was more of a grimace, and Ben leaned pensively back into his chair.

“Hey, pretty,” he said, opening his arms. She went to him immediately and nestled against his side. He placed a heavy hand on her hip while she tore into the unmarked packaging. 

There was a small rectangular piece in the pink box. “What’s this?” 

She lifted it up, perplexed, then let out a happy cry. It was a phone case for the X4: pink and dotted with tiny gemstones. 

“A custom-made case with Swarovski crystals,” he said proudly, tapping the row of tiny gems. 

“Wow,” Rey breathed, turning it over in her hands. She was incredulous; they actually made phone cases with real jewels? This wasn’t the work of a Bedazzler? Go figure. 

“Jesus Christ, Ben.” Her mother looked really upset this time, and Rey suspected it wasn’t just jealousy. Her uncle had obviously spent heaps of money on these gifts. Maybe Rey should care more about that, but at least _someone_ recognized her expensive preferences. 

Ben raised an eyebrow and hugged Rey close to his side while she examined the case. “What? She deserves nice things.”

“She’s sixteen,” Kaydel said slowly, squinting her eyes like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “That case will be ruined in a matter of weeks.”

“Hey!” Rey exclaimed hotly, twisting out of her uncle’s grip. “No, it won’t! I’ll take good care of it, Mom. I promise.” 

“Hey, I believe you,” Ben said, and when she turned to him, he winked slyly like they shared a secret. Which, now that he'd reminded her in front of her _mother_ … 

Rey giggled, blushing, and reached for the final box, stomach fluttering with nerves. What could _this_ be? Had he saved the best for last? 

“Careful with that one,” he murmured, eyes on her face. “It’s very special.”

She bit her lip and slowly cut through the tape holding the packaging together. Inside the box, nestled on a swatch of black satin, was a thin gold necklace. A soft pink star pendant glimmered in the center, inlaid with tiny silver gems. 

Kaydel choked on her water. “For fuck’s—“

“Holy shit!” Rey cried, shoving the necklace close to her face. Those were definitely diamonds, but she couldn’t figure out the other stones? Rubies? 

“Language!” her mother snapped, eyes locked on the necklace. Her expression hovered between shock and fury. 

Ben rose from his chair and hovered behind Rey, gently touching the pendant with a slim finger. “That’s mother-of-pearl, and the gems are diamonds. I know you like pink, so—“

Kaydel turned her back on them, rubbing her forehead like she had a massive headache. “Ben, I can’t believe— We need to talk.”

“Mm.” He was watching Rey for her reaction. 

Her heart was hammering triple-time. The necklace was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she had _ever_ seen, and that was really saying something. She imagined him going to the store with the express purpose of buying something beautiful for her. Tears blurred her vision. 

“What do you think?” he asked gruffly, caressing her hip. 

Gently, Rey set the box on the table and then launched herself into his arms. Ben caught her neatly around the waist, and in her excitement, she twined her legs around his hips and pressed her body against him like she did when they were alone. Forgetting herself, she kissed him hard on the mouth. “Thank you, thank you! This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten, Ben!” 

Kaydel was staring at them now, but Ben nuzzled her cheek and murmured, “Nothing but the best for my favorite girl.”

“Where did you find that necklace?” she exclaimed, kissing his nose. Mom was still staring. 

He winked again and spread his hands on her bottom so he could support her fully. “Can’t tell you that.”

She pouted and gripped the back of his neck, linking her fingers. “Why not? It’s _beautiful._ I’ll wear it every single day.”

“Well, I’m happy you’re happy,” he murmured, nuzzling her temple. She giggled again, feeling light as air, and pressed their cheeks together as Ben swayed them side-to-side like they were dancing. It was nice. A happy moment. She hadn’t had one in so long. 

“Ben,” Kaydel said sharply, effectively interrupting the moment. Of course. 

They both looked over reluctantly, Ben’s lips grazing her jaw. Her mother was leaning against the kitchen counter, arms folded, features set in an unforgiving mask. “I need to talk to you. Right now.”

“Ah.” With a sigh, Ben set her gently on her feet, and Rey fled from his embrace and gleefully gathered up her treasures. She’d have to post pictures on her Instagram; her followers would go _ballistic _. “Well, Kaydel, good news: I want to talk to you too.”__

__Her mother placed a hand on Rey’s shoulder. “Honey, why don’t you take your goodies upstairs for safekeeping? Uncle Ben and I are going to discuss some things.”_ _

__“Okay,” she sang, smiling at Ben, who was staring at her again, eyes soft. She blew him a kiss and chirped, “I love you!”_ _

__“Love you more!” he called as she disappeared down the hall._ _

__Up in her bedroom, Rey strategically arranged the purse, perfume, phone case, and necklace on her bureau. She snapped a few pictures at various angles, delighting in the camera quality, and quickly tagged the brands before posting on Instagram. She knew the mean girls from school followed her, and the thought of them choking on air when they saw her posts was enough to improve her mood until she was practically singing._ _

Sat 12:25 p.m.

**REY**  
 _guess what I got!!!!_ 😌✨💎💕

She sat on the edge of her bed and shot off a text to Rose, attaching the photos. She touched her cheek and realized she was still smiling like a lunatic. A few minutes later, her friend sent a simple but telling response.

Sat 12:29 p.m.

**ROSE**

💰🍭💰🍭💰🍭

Rey grinned and sent back a winky face. Okay, yeah, maybe Ben showered her with really expensive gifts far more often than normal. Maybe he spent more money on her than her parents did for Christmas and her last birthday combined. She didn’t care. Ben obviously loved her more than anyone, and when she thought of him there was only a warm glow. Whatever else had happened between them, he clearly wanted to make her happy.

 _If only Daddy were home,_ she thought, flopping back on the mattress. Her enthusiasm dimmed. He had run out to the office earlier, before she was even awake, and according to her mother Daddy had no idea when he’d be home. She wanted to show him her new gifts; not to make him jealous, obviously—he didn’t really care for high-end brands, except when it came to his tailored Armani suits. She just missed chatting with him for no other reason than to hear his voice and laugh when he made a lame joke. 

Well, in the meantime, she’d just have to make do with what she _did_ have. 

For the next forty minutes, Rey scoured her social media accounts, ignoring the hundreds of likes pouring in from Instagram and Twitter. Everyone was reacting to her gifts, and although the thought of everyone’s jealousy was secretly validating—whatever, so she liked attention—she wanted to find out where Ben had bought the necklace. It wasn’t Chanel or Balmain, and she would’ve recognized a Gucci design. But the longer she researched, the further she seemed to get from any clear answer. After a while all the designs blurred together, and she was on the verge of developing another headache. 

Frustrated, Rey tossed aside her phone and rolled face-down on her bed. Why couldn’t things ever come _easy_? 

Her door creaked open. 

“Baby?”

Rey’s head shot up. Ben stood in the doorway, hands in the pockets of his jeans. He was smiling, and her heart melted at the sight. She had been too angry and distracted to notice before, but he looked really handsome today. His hair was soft and wavy, and his clothes fit him snugly in all the right places. 

“Ben.” She sat up as he neared the bed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Can I go downstairs now?”

He hummed assent and perched on the edge of the mattress. “Coast is clear.”

Unable to resist, she crawled into his lap and poked his cheek. “What were you and Mom talking about?”

He shrugged and played with the buttons on her overalls. “Nothing important.” 

“Tell me,” she demanded, lifting his chin so their eyes were level. “Is it a secret?”

“No,” he said reluctantly, but at the pleading look on her face, relented. “Well, let’s just say I had a hard time persuading your mother.”

“To let me move in?” Rey’s heart missed a beat. Had her mom said no? That would absolutely _not_ fly. Much to her parents’ chagrin, she couldn’t accept any answer that prevented her from getting what she wanted. It was their own fault, anyway. 

“Mhm,” he murmured, tracing the curve of her neck with a slim finger. She lightly held his wrist and kissed the corner of his mouth. 

“And?”

He sighed and leaned down so his forehead was against hers. “She seemed to think it was...inappropriate.”

Rey’s brow furrowed. “Why? Didn’t you mention that I’d be working for you?”

“I don’t think that was a concern for her,” he said vaguely. “She just…thinks you’re too young.” 

“ _Ben_ ,” she whined, instantly upset. Would their plans fall through? All that talk of freedom and responsibility meant nothing if Kaydel wouldn’t let her go.

“I know, sweetness,” he murmured, kissing down her throat. She arched her neck to give him better access. “Don’t worry. I still have an idea, but...” He paused. 

“But what?” she demanded. 

“In the future, it might be best if we avoided kissing on the mouth in front of your mom,” he said carefully. “She wasn’t too happy about that.”

“Okay,” she grumbled, pushing her face into his chest. Their plan needed to work. If it didn’t, she didn’t know _what_ she’d do. Throw a major tantrum, maybe. That was often enough to change Mom’s mind. 

“I have a good feeling about this,” Ben said, laughter in his voice. “Things will work out. I promise.”

His hands skimmed her waist, palms pressing against her ribs, and then all of a sudden he was gently digging his fingers into her sides, arms caging her in so she couldn’t escape. 

Rey immediately yelped and jerked back. “Hey!”

“Ticklish?” He raised an eyebrow and bopped her nose.

“You know I am,” she said, sticking her tongue out and swatting away his hands. Her pulse thrummed erratically; she wasn’t sure she liked that. 

“We should go back downstairs,” he added gruffly, lifting her arms so they wrapped around his neck. He rose from the bed and started down the upstairs hall. “Your mom wants you to finish eating.”

Rey groaned and placed her chin on his shoulder. “She never listens to me. I’m not hungry, and I don’t do it just to make her mad. But it’s like she doesn’t care.” 

“She’s worried,” he said soothingly. “You’re already very thin, sweetie. We need to get some meat on these bones.” He touched her lightly on the wrist to emphasize his point. 

“Uh-huh.” Rey rolled her eyes; everybody was _constantly_ telling her that. Maybe if they stopped commenting on her figure she’d feel more comfortable eating around people. 

Ben lightly patted her bottom as they rounded the corner into the kitchen. “Your health’s important, Rey. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”

Kaydel glanced up from the counter. Her reading glasses were perched on the end of her nose; they were almost identical to the ones Ben wore when he was working. Except her mom looked like a stuffy librarian, and Ben looked like a hot professor. 

“Breakfast,” she barked, jerking her chin at the table. Ben shot his sister a look, which she ignored. Her eyes strayed down to the hands on Rey’s butt, but she didn’t say anything. Good. Rey was already in a sour mood. 

Grumbling about temperamental women, Ben sat down in Rey’s chair and adjusted her in his lap so she faced forward. The plate from earlier was still there: two thin pancakes, one piece of bacon, and two eggs with cheddar. The sight of it made her faintly nauseous. 

She caught her mother peeking at her over her shoulder, and Rey’s stomach somersaulted. Why were they so obsessed with what she ate? She hated this kind of attention. Why didn’t they focus on her when she did things that _mattered_? 

Reluctantly, Rey picked up her fork and jabbed a chunk of egg. It had been warmed up for her, but she still wasn’t sure if she’d be able to keep it down. Eggs were rubbery by nature, and the cheese was clotted on top like an extra layer of fat. But she slipped it into her mouth, hoping for the best...and couldn’t resist making a face.

“Don’t be dramatic,” Kaydel sighed on cue, turning back to her magazine.

“Well, don’t watch me _eat_ ,” Rey snipped, glaring at her mother’s back. She didn’t need an audience. Without even thinking about it, she lowered her fork. 

Ben’s hands tightened on her waist. They nearly met around her middle. “Be a good girl and listen to your mom, sweetness. She knows best.”

“Oh, of course you’d side with _her_.” Angrily, Rey jabbed her fork into a pancake and took a vicious bite. Nobody _ever_ stood up for her. It was always them against her, no matter what the situation or circumstances. Just once she’d like for somebody to be totally on her side. 

“Hey, hey,” he said softly, brushing a kiss across her jaw. “Don’t get upset, baby. We just want you to be healthy.”

Tears pricked her eyes anyway. Her stomach was a seething mass of stress and anxiety. Maybe if they stopped talking about it for _one second_ , she could manage to finish a meal. Her hands shook as she lifted the fork. It was none of their business what she ate. She was so fucking tired of hearing about _being healthy_. 

A tear slipped from her eye. Rey pressed her mouth together, glad her mother’s back was to them. She would just complain about all the _drama_ and _hysteria_. 

Ben made a soft, pained noise in the back of his throat. “None of that, baby. Please don’t cry.” 

“Sorry,” she whispered miserably. Another piece of pancake made its way to her mouth. She swallowed and cringed. 

He inhaled slowly through his nose. “Listen,” he said, keeping his voice low so Kaydel couldn’t hear. “I believe you’re not hungry, Rey, but your mom’s convinced otherwise. How about this: If you can finish _half_ of what’s on your plate, I’ll buy you whatever you want.”

She laughed a little—a watery, pathetic sound. “That’s not fair. You already spent way too much money on me.”

“Oh, no, no, I haven’t spent _nearly_ enough,” he growled, tightening his arms around her midsection. He buried his nose in her neck, and she leaned against him. “I’m going to _throw_ money at you, baby. You’ll see.”

She sniffled. “I hope you don’t mean that literally.”

His breath caught on a laugh. He began to whisper quiet encouragement while Rey painstakingly devoured one pancake and a quarter of the eggs. Her stomach had settled a bit, but she was still uncomfortable. Her mother was only pretending to read; Rey suspected she was paying close attention to the amount of food left on her plate. 

When she paused for a long minute, working her jaw as if that would open up some room in her stomach, Ben’s lips brushed her ear. “Please eat, Rey. For me.”

She gritted her teeth and finished the eggs. Maybe she could do this. It really wasn’t that much food. Technically this counted as breakfast _and_ lunch since she’d risen so late. If she thought of it as two meals in one, that made it far easier to handle. 

_Huh. I can do this,_ she realized, startled by her reasoning. _I can really do this. Just think of it as two meals. Simple._

While she nibbled on the last piece of bacon, Ben trailed kisses down her neck. They were hot and wet and open-mouthed, and Rey couldn’t contain a shiver as he quietly mouthed at some of her hickies. She licked her lips and squirmed in his lap while his hands slid under her shirt and whispered over her skin. 

Kaydel abruptly turned away from the counter, saw where Ben’s hands were, and cleared her throat. His head shot up, eyes slightly unfocused. “Oh,” he said, voice raspy. “She’s almost done.”

Her mother’s gaze lingered on Ben for an uncomfortable pause. But then she glanced at Rey and her empty plate, and a small smile appeared instead of the usual frown. 

“Good job, Rey. I’m proud of you.”

Rey’s own smile was wobbly, but she was kind of proud of herself too. _That wasn’t so bad, right?_ “Uh, thanks, Mom.”

Ben massaged her hip and murmured, “Proud of you, too, baby. You did such a good job.”

She lifted one of his big hands off her waist and kissed the middle of his palm. “Thank you.” 

He sighed into her hair, and rocked her gently in his lap. Rey smiled and snuggled into his chest, warm now, and happy to be finished eating without a big spectacle. She couldn’t have done it without him. 

Ben rested a cheek on top of her head and sighed. “Kaydel, I’d like to take her out for a few hours.”

Her mother peered at them over the frames of her glasses. “Not sure that’s a good idea. Rey has quite a few chores to do—“

Oh, _this_ was Rey’s moment. 

She surged out of Ben’s lap, even as his hands tried pulling her back, and crossed to her mother, flinging her arms around her small waist. Kaydel startled back a step, her hip meeting the edge of the counter.

“ _Please_ , Mom? I promise it won’t be for long,” she said, pouting and opening her eyes as wide as she could without looking like a maniac. She’d practiced in the mirror. “If I can just get out of the house for a _little_ while—“

“Rey…” Kaydel sighed and closed her eyes. “Don’t you spend enough time with your uncle? You know he wants you to move in with him.”

“I know, Mom. Don’t you think it’s a good idea?” Rey’s mind raced. “You won’t have to drive me over to his house and pick me up every day, and you won’t have to clean my messes, and you won’t—“

“Enough, Rey.” Her mother’s voice was suddenly hard. “I told Uncle Ben I’d think about it, but first and foremost I’ll need to discuss the idea with your father. He needs to weigh in on something this important.”

“Daddy’ll say yes!” she exclaimed. Rey had absolutely no idea if he would or not, but it was best to sound confident. 

Kaydel bit her lip and glanced at Ben over the top of her head. “You can go with Uncle Ben for a few hours, but I want you back by dinner—“

“Thank you, Mom!” she cried, hugging her tightly. Rey was a professional at whining and begging and needling her parents to get what she wanted. Piece of cake. 

Ben rose and crossed to her, touching her arm when she released her hold on Mom. “Why don’t you run upstairs and get your new necklace, baby?” 

Overjoyed things were going the way she wanted, Rey agreed and skipped her way upstairs to her bedroom. She opened the new Balmain bag and slipped her phone and the star pendant necklace inside. She checked her teeth and hair, winked at her reflection, and slipped on a crisp pair of white Vans. 

Downstairs, Kaydel was hugging her brother goodbye. “No later than six!”

Ben grinned and reached for Rey as soon as she touched the ground floor. She clasped his hand in both of hers and bounced on her toes, impatient to get going. Kaydel droned on about dinner plans and how she would _really love_ a new blanket from Ralph Lauren, but when she started hinting at yet another pair of heels she wanted, Rey quickly interrupted. 

“Okay, okay, it’s been fun! Gotta go, see you later, Mom!”

Her mother’s smile was tight. “Behave yourself, young lady.”

“I know!” she called over her shoulder as Ben led her to his car. He unlocked the doors and ushered her into the passenger seat, obviously impatient to get away before her mother found something else to nag them about. 

Once they were on the road, radio blaring Aerosmith, Ben clutched her hand tightly and placed it on his crotch. She stared, surprised, but he only watched the road in front of them. 

Rey licked her lips, mouth suddenly gone dry. “Do you want me to—“

He nodded once, jaw tight. 

Swallowing, she set her Balmain bag on the floor and twisted in her seat so she was kneeling. Bending over the center console, she unbuttoned his jeans and yanked the zipper down. His cock was straining at the fabric of his black boxers, and when she pulled, it sprang upright immediately, all red and veiny and wet with pre-cum. 

As long as she kept her mind on the present, Rey could get through this again. Ben had spent thousands of dollars on her, after all. The least she could do was make him feel nice. He loved her so much; she could do this _one_ thing. 

Ben sucked in a sharp breath as she slowly licked the head of his cock, his big hands flexing on the steering wheel. 

Rey found that, unlike yesterday, she was strangely eager to taste him. All the uncertainty had left her—she wasn’t sure when. Maybe it was after she’d opened the gifts. Or when Ben kissed and praised her for finishing breakfast. It might even have been before that, when they had sex for the first time.

Something had been made very clear to her over the last twenty-four hours—something she was quite sure he didn’t want her to know. Ben was desperate to keep her with him. She didn’t understand why or how he planned to do that, but she was unwilling to question it when the benefits were so great. 

This was very good information to have. 

Having someone dote on her was like a dream come true—the attention reminded her of her childhood when she couldn’t take two steps without Mom or Daddy fretting. She’d been the center of their world until puberty. She was ready to be the center of someone else’s. 

Maybe, just maybe, she could wrap him around her finger like she had her parents. She sensed it wouldn’t take much. A push here and there. Ben was already buying her things and asking her to move in with him. He said he loved her; she just had to figure out how much. 

She would start by making him happy.

As Rey bobbed up and down his pulsing length, as she listened to his moans and felt the warm press of his palm on the back of her head, forcing her to take him deep, she wondered just how far she could go with him. 

Or maybe _could_ was the wrong word. How far would she go? After all, he owed Rey. For hitting her yesterday and for fucking her mouth with his cock when she’d made it clear that was _not_ something she wanted to do. Ben owed her, and like her mother, Rey didn’t forget her debts. 

He fucking _owed_ her. 

Minutes later, Ben was cumming in her mouth with a loud, ear-shattering groan, hips jerking and foot pressing down hard on the accelerator. A horn honked as they blew past an intersection. 

Rey leaned back in her seat, grinning, and licked his cum off her lips.

“Was that good, Ben?” she asked sweetly, tilting her head. 

His eyes were glazed, and he blinked twice before she swam into focus. 

“Yes, baby,” he panted, touching the corner of her mouth. His eyes were wild now, chest heaving like he’d just run a race. “That was _so_ fucking good. _Fuck._ ” He laughed breathlessly and kissed her knuckles. “I love you. So much.”

Smiling, Rey touched his wrist and guided his hand to her cheek. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **methinks Rey has a manipulative streak 👀**
> 
> **btw I wanted to include Rey's food issues here because the overwhelming majority of fics has her starved and desperate for food (which...canon, pretty much), but I like to explore alternatives to that i.e. the other end of the spectrum so**
> 
> **~~final chapter count PROMISE~~**
> 
> **because Ben's a rich bitch:**   
>  [Balmain purse](https://www.balmain.com/us/bags-bbuzz-bag-pink-suede-b-buzz-19-baguette-bag-with-fringe_cod45510929wa.html?dept=vwllbgs)   
>  [Louis Vuitton pendant](https://us.louisvuitton.com/eng-us/products/color-blossom-star-pendant-pink-gold-and-white-mother-of-pearl-010508?gclid=Cj0KCQjw6575BRCQARIsAMp-ksNlnIPcsuu4uHqdBHq1J2C_iQeATDLo1Ayf_tq_mrcNnnTOhCVZWIEaAob6EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#Q93521)


	5. tidal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **in which i inevitably write 12k because i cannot be stopped**

The first thing Rey did when they walked into Ben’s house was grab the umbrella by the coat rack. 

He was on the phone, talking animatedly about work with an employee or co-worker, so it was easy for her to turn around and go right back outside. The trash cans were waiting to be collected by the curb, so she tossed the umbrella into a half-full bin and skipped inside before Ben noticed she was missing.

Rey was quite smug about this stroke of foresight—or maybe _preemptively_ was the better word. She was preemptively smug about it. Obviously, there were other makeshift weapons lying around that he could use, but for her it was the principle of the thing. Tossing out the umbrella, the object he’d hit her with, signified an unwillingness to just _let it go_ , of course. At least, that’s how Rey saw it. 

She had something he wanted now--her body, her mind, or a mix of the two--and if he tried to pull a fast one on her again, she’d hold it above his head, out of reach. _No more touching for you, mister! No more kisses if you misbehave!_ She was banking on the fact that he desired her so desperately he would listen to her--unfortunately, she didn’t know for sure if this would work, which was less than ideal, but she felt fairly confident it would. 

In fact, Mom used to do that to her all the time when she was young: sever the Wifi connection when Rey refused to get off her phone, withhold money so she couldn’t go shopping, even tell all her friends’ parents she was unavailable to hang out when she failed a test or quiz.

That punishment only worked until Rey caught on, and then it was all downhill for her parents. She’d managed almost immediately to outmaneuver them, as she usually did. Dad had always been a workaholic, and Mom was easily distracted, so it hadn’t been much of a challenge, truthfully. 

Sometimes things were just a little _too_ easy. 

As she mulled this over, Ben entered the living room and plopped down next to her on the sofa. There was a slight furrow between his brows, and his eyes were tired, but when he looked at her they seemed to brighten. Pleased, she nestled into his side and, with her head on his shoulder, peered up at him through her lashes. 

“What are we doing today?” Rey asked, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“Whatever you want,” he replied with a smile. “I don’t have any specific plans in mind. I just wanted to get you out of that house.” He touched the corner of her mouth. “I don’t like seeing you stressed, baby.”

She frowned, flashing back to breakfast. “Mom has a thing about food. I don’t like being pushed, but that’s all she ever does with me. It gets annoying.”

“Are you…” He struggled for a second. “Do you not like to eat?”

Rey dropped her eyes. This wasn’t a topic she wanted to discuss. “No...that’s not it. I just get anxious. I don’t know why.”

Ben hummed thoughtfully and stroked a hand over her hair. “Well, when you move in we’ll figure it out. Together,” he added. “I won’t pressure you.”

“Okay,” she said softly, strangely touched. Her mother had never offered to work through her food issues. Maybe that was because Mom had enough of her own problems to occupy her. “Thanks, Ben.”

He kissed her forehead. “You’re welcome, sweetness.” 

A loud chime interrupted them. Ben flipped his phone around to read the display and sighed. “I need to take this. Why don’t you head outside? We can sit on the patio and watch a movie.”

Rey straightened at the idea and eyed the backyard. It was nice out today; not a stifling ninety degrees, but somewhere in the upper seventies. No humidity, either, only dry heat, which was significantly easier to bear. Summer was her favorite season, but she hated to sweat. It made her feel gross and smelly. 

While she waited for Ben to return, she idly tapped through her social media accounts and opened the sliding glass door to the yard. It was a pretty sizable space, with a large, unoccupied lawn beyond the stone patio. There was a massive grill and firepit, plus a dining table and chairs. On the other side was a circular seating area with three white chaise lounges. The fence around the yard was only a few feet high with wide-spaced slats, but the nearest neighbor was a couple hundred yards away. Ben had an impressive amount of privacy for someone who lived in the suburbs. 

Rey’s own neighbors were practically on top of her house. In fact, during the pool party last weekend, she could’ve sworn that creepy Mr. Tarkin had been staring at the girls from his second story window. His skeletal face always gave her the creeps. 

She clicked through her Twitter mutuals’ accounts, checking for updates and commenting on their most recent tweets. She tapped the heart on a post about a new celebrity makeup line, but the screen seemed to have frozen. Rey frowned and swiped out of the app. She noticed some icons on the third page of her iPhone; none of them were familiar. _When did I download these?_ she wondered, staring at an app named FamiSafe. Then again, she often downloaded new games and new social media apps only to use them once and forget they existed. Maybe she’d bought these in the app store and then—

Her phone chimed as she took a seat on a chaise lounge. Her eyebrows shot up. It was Finn.

Sun 12:56 p.m.

**FINN**

_hey are you free?_

Rey hesitated before answering. For the first time in almost a month he was texting her first. She didn’t know what had been keeping him so busy, or why he was acting so strange, but she intended to find out.

Sun 12:58 p.m.

**REY**  
 _hey!!! im free for now. where have u been?!_ 😟

**FINN**

_just busy with family stuff. i havent seen you in forever! we need to hang soon_

 _No kidding,_ she thought with an eye roll. That was what she’d been saying for the last month, but apparently he didn’t remember all her attempts to contact him.

Sun 1:00 p.m.

**REY**  
 _do u want to come over tonight? i should be free after six_

**FINN**

_maybe we can go get ice cream or something instead?_

**REY**  
 _sure that works. u want my mom to drive us?_

**FINN**

_why don’t we split an Uber?_

Rey frowned. That seemed not only inconvenient but a waste of money. Not that she really cared about money—it wasn’t hers, after all—but she knew Kaydel would complain about it, and after this morning Rey would rather not engage in any more arguments. She’d already taken two Tums today.

Sun 1:03 p.m.

**REY**  
 _that’s dumb! my mom can do it. trust me she’s not busy lol_

It was several minutes before Finn answered, and she got the creeping suspicion that he didn’t want to see her mother. She knew her mom could be nosy and overbearing, but they’d seemed to get along in the past. Her dad had even said that Finn was like the son he never had, which kind of annoyed Rey—her parents had had ample opportunity to make one. 

Miffed, Rey did something she normally avoided: she double-texted.

Sun 1:08 p.m.

**REY**  
 _or we can do it another time nbd_ 🙂

 _btw guess what im wearing today?_

She snapped a picture of the interlocking hearts necklace and sent it to Finn, who responded immediately.

Sun 1:10 p.m.

**FINN**

_I thought you lost that thing!! looks great_

😍

_tbh im glad you like it, you have so much jewelry lol_

**REY**  
 _it’s one of my favs 😌 so what are u doing now?_

**FINN**

_i'm eating lunch at this swanky restaurant downtown. lots of weird fish stuff_

**REY**  
 _oooooo which place?_

She had been to just about every four- or five-star restaurant in her town and the ones surrounding it. Her dad met with dozens of people every week, and he said a guaranteed way to set people at ease was to give them free food.

Sun 1:13 p.m.

**FINN**

_this place called Elixir. near the new Niima’s Bagels_

**REY**  
 _oh i know that one! my dad goes there a lot for work. they have really good caviar_

**FINN**

_🤢 like I said….weird fish stuff_

Rey laughed and for the next five minutes bombarded Finn with images of sketchy-looking seafood. He sent her increasingly grossed-out reaction GIFs, and for a little while things were normal. It was like nothing between them was off like it had been for weeks. Since school let out, really, although maybe he was acting strange before then too. She couldn’t remember exactly.

Eventually their banter slowed, and Finn told her he needed to go. With a sigh, Rey bid him a fond farewell.

Sun 1:22 p.m.

**REY**  
 _you need to text me more!! ive missed u_ 😞

**FINN**

_promise! ive missed u 2_

_ooh our steaks are here!! sirloin 👀 see you rey_ 💙

Something tickled the back of her mind. Something about that last statement. Her memory was awful, but she thought she was forgetting an important detail. Rey stared at her phone for a long minute.

“Sorry, baby,” Ben said, stepping out on the patio. “I’m dealing with a work issue that could’ve easily been fucking handled—“ He cut himself off with visible effort. “Never mind. Not important.”

Rey scooted over on the chaise lounge so he could make himself comfortable. She climbed into his lap after a second, wanting to be close to him, thighs spread to either side of his hips. That _something_ from the conversation with Finn continued to nag at her. She wrapped her arms around Ben’s neck and opened up a new browser window on her phone. 

Pleased, Ben kissed the middle of her throat. “Did you miss me?”

“Mm,” she said, concentrating on her phone. 

“I hope that’s a yes,” he murmured, tracing up and down her spine with his fingers. Rey shifted, enjoying the warmth of him. He was like her own personal comfort blanket. 

“That’s definitely a yes,” she assured him, typing in the lunch menu for Elixir. 

Ben’s hands cupped her bottom. “You’re a little distracted today, aren’t you?”

“I’m just looking up something,” she said absently. The damn menu was ten pages! She scrolled to the entrees section. There—sirloin steak. Rey read through the description and slowly realized why it sounded familiar. 

“Well,” Ben said softly, squeezing her butt. Her thighs clenched around his hips involuntarily, his cock pressing against her core. “ _I_ missed _you_. So much.” 

Rey leaned back and placed her phone on the chaise lounge next to them. She forced the Elixir thing from her mind—for now. She refocused on Ben, wondering how he could’ve possibly missed her when they’d seen each other less than twenty-four hours ago. It was kind of sweet though. 

She put her hands on his shoulders and cocked an eyebrow. “Oh, really. How much?”

“Let’s just say I considered picking you up in the middle of the night,” he said in a low voice, eyes near-black despite the midday sun. “I thought about bringing you home with me. Tossing you into my bed. Not letting you leave until morning. Just a few ideas.”

“Why didn’t you?” she asked boldly, kissing the corner of his mouth. He tasted fantastic, like coffee and cinnamon. “Don’t you love me?” 

His nostrils flared, and she could feel the hard length of him pulsing between her legs. “Kaydel would kill me.”

She pouted and kissed the tip of his nose. “But she won’t be the boss of me for much longer, you know. I’ll be a free woman soon!”

She would also be free of her parents’ influence, and then she could say and wear and watch whatever she wanted. This arrangement couldn’t have come at a better time; her mother’s weird behavior towards her had reached a point where Rey was unwilling to be civil anymore. Between the food fixation and her controlling attitude, life with Kaydel had become uncomfortable. 

Ben nodded slowly, big hands sliding up to her waist. Her eyes fluttered at his gentle touch. “You’re very right. But once you’re with me, you’ll have to do what I say,” he warned. “Go to bed when I tell you. Eat what I want you to eat.” His jaw worked. “Kaydel allows you to get away with too much. Not in this house, Rey.” 

_Oh, really?_

“Anything,” Rey said sweetly, biting her bottom lip. “I’ll do whatever you want, Ben.” 

As if. He might _think_ he had the upper hand, but she was confident that in a week’s time he would be bending over backward to make her happy. Bedtimes? She didn’t think so. Food regulation? Her stomach twisted. Yeah, right. Over her dead body. 

He hissed through his teeth and pawed at the straps of her overalls. They fell off her shoulders, and his hands dove beneath her white shirt, gliding across the taut skin of her stomach. She sighed at the contact—maybe it had only been a day since she’d last seen him, but she had missed him too. 

Ben cupped her ribs and kissed her hard on the mouth. In a low voice, lips pressed to her ear, he whispered, “Rey, sweetie. There’s something I want to tell you. I’ve been thinking, and...I _do_ want to put a baby in you.” Then, hastily, “Eventually, of course. There's no rush--”

Rey stilled, though her heart revved like an engine. _Come again?!_ He was still talking, but all she could hear was a loud buzzing in her ears. What had prompted this sudden change? He couldn't be serious. 

“You make me so happy,” he was saying. “More than anything, I want us to have a family of our own one day. This is what I've been waiting for since--” He cut himself off, but Rey didn't notice. 

_This is it,_ she told herself, elated. _He’s giving in, and you didn’t even have to push that hard. Holy shit!_

“Okay,” she said simply, and he laughed. 

“That easy, huh?” 

She nodded and bounced excitedly in his lap, knowing it would agitate him. “I want a baby. Now, please.”

Sure enough, Ben’s eyes darkened, and he licked his lips. But his expression said he was displeased. “Rey—I—We should still wait. Didn’t you hear me? A few months, at least. I want you to graduate first. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” 

Rey stopped moving, and her stomach curdled. Graduation was still _two years_ away. That wasn’t any different than waiting until she turned eighteen! That was _not_ soon enough. _Liar_ , her mind whispered. _He’s a liar_. “What? But that’s too long. I _told_ you that’s too long.”

She was confused. Why would he mention it again when he still wasn’t planning on giving her what she wanted for months and months? That was just cruel. 

He groaned and tapped her nose when she pouted. “We have to be responsible about this, baby. Your mom will lose her shit if you come home with a big belly.”

“Well, it’s not my _mom’s_ baby,” she said impatiently. Mom had had plenty of chances to give Rey a sibling, but she’d passed on all of them. So selfish, as usual. “It’ll be _our_ baby. Isn’t that what you told me? We’ll have a family much sooner if we try now! I don’t want to wait, Ben.”

“Rey, please, I’m serious,” he said sternly, cupping her face. She pushed at his hands, frustrated, but he didn’t move. “We need to be smart about this.” 

“Why?” she demanded, crossing her arms. He was upsetting her. “It’s nobody else’s business! If I want a baby, then—“

“I could get in a lot of trouble,” he interrupted harshly, his grip on her face tightening until she whined uncomfortably. 

Rey still didn’t get it. It wasn’t like anybody was _forcing_ her; she’d wanted a baby for so long that she couldn’t remember a time when she didn’t constantly dream about buying cute little clothes and going to baby dance classes. That was the only thing about “domestic life” that appealed to her. With a baby in her belly and her newfound freedom in sight, Rey’s life was already set. 

Unless someone decided to ruin it. 

Maybe he just didn’t love her enough. Like her parents and her friends. Kaydel had her million and one clubs, and Poe had his work. Rose and Finn often chilled without her, and even that loser Armitage Hux was in an on-again off-again relationship with Bazine Netal. Everyone had someone. Meanwhile, Rey had...shopping and...social media and...the occasional trip overseas. No one put her first. 

Until Ben. 

But maybe that was a lie too. Maybe he just wanted to make himself feel good, and she was the most convenient path to achieving that. Maybe this was a game for him. He’d tell her they would make a baby soon, and then the second she was gone he’d laugh himself silly at her naïveté. _Oh, sweet Rey. No one wants you_ that _badly._ Just like her parents, Ben would eventually grow distant and uninterested in her life, and she’d be cast aside for something better. 

Upset now, Rey shoved at his forearms until he released her with a curse. Tears in her eyes, she wiggled off his lap and stalked into the backyard, overall straps swinging by her legs. She didn’t know how to convince him. She didn’t know what to say to make him see she _needed_ this. 

She didn’t think she was being dramatic—Mom wasn’t around to insult her about it, so Rey wasn’t totally sure—but her thoughts were definitely spiraling out of control. She was familiar with the signs. 

Closing her eyes, she imagined an island. This was her go-to technique for calming down. Imagine an island in the middle of the ocean. Blue skies, white sand, palm trees laden with juicy coconuts. A gentle breeze that brought with it the salty scent of the ocean and the shushing of waves on the shore. Peace. Serenity. Safety. It was paradise.

But she was still alone.

The scene wavered, cracked, and dissolved. 

Rey stifled a sob and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. She was so close to getting everything she’d ever wanted—freedom, a baby, a boyfriend who doted on her—but the world was really trying its best to mess it all up. Ben might be right—maybe she _should_ wait a little. But what if she waited too long and Ben decided he wanted someone his own age? 

Her thoughts went around and around in circles like this for several minutes until, frustrated, she put her head in her hands and bit down on her tongue to bring herself back from the edge. 

Fuck it. 

Maybe she really should go home—and stay there. This was all so exhausting. Don’t move in with Ben, don’t try to work things out with Finn, don’t wake up at five every morning before school to straighten and spritz her hair and apply makeup. Forget about being popular or pretty or smart. 

She always tried so hard to fit in, and in the end, what did she have? Nothing. Just a Balmain bag and some Chanel perfume. As if a million other girls didn’t already own those things too. There was nothing special about her, nothing worthy of notice. She would fade into the background of everyone else’s lives until—

Arms wrapped around her from behind. Rey squeaked, taken by surprise, as Ben kissed the side of her head. His warmth was an instant balm, but she wasn’t feeling particularly forgiving. 

“Go away,” she hiccuped, twisting out of his grasp. All this talk of babies was driving her insane. 

“No,” he said, hugging her so tight it was almost painful.

“I don’t w-want to talk to y-you,” she insisted, pushing hard. His arms were like bands of steel—completely immovable. She bucked against him, but he didn’t move so much as an inch. 

“That’s too bad.”

“I’m serious!” she snapped, squirming and kicking as he lifted her off the ground. Her feet dangled uselessly. “Maybe I should just g-go home. I don’t—”

“Rey.”

“—need you. I don’t need _anybody_. Drive me home and I’ll—“

“Rey.”

“—tell my mom to forget about the moving thing. It was a stupid idea, anyway—“ 

Ben dumped her on the ground, and she blinked, recovering too slow, and stared at him in shock. He dropped to his knees and maneuvered her onto her back, pressing on her shoulders until she stopped trying to rise. Frustrated, she glowered at him as he knelt between her legs, spreading them wide so she’d stop kicking. 

“You’re not going back,” he said gruffly, yanking on her overalls. “ _This_ is your home now.” 

Rey sniffled and didn’t resist as he dragged her outfit past her hips and down her legs. “But you said no baby—“

“No,” Ben interrupted impatiently, flinging her clothes to the side. She wore nothing but her panties and a thin white t-shirt. “I said you have to _wait_.” He seemed tense, like he was barely managing to leash his anger. “I know that’s a foreign concept for you, sweetness. My sister raised you according to one set of rules.”

“What rule?” She shifted on her back, trying to get away, and resisted the urge to swat at the long pieces of grass tickling her skin. The humidity was relatively low today, but she was already sweating, and she hated it. She could hear the loud buzzing of a cicada from the row of low hedges by the house. As she braced her feet to scooch away, Ben’s hands came down on her knees and dragged her back. 

His eyes flickered over her neck, and his expression transformed into one of pure rage. He reached for her throat, and Rey cringed into the grass, but he merely yanked the chain of her interlocking hearts necklace off and tossed it across the yard. “You will never wear another man’s gifts,” he muttered.

Rey only caught half of that. “What?” 

“Never mind.” He shook his head. “My sister raised you according to the rule of instant gratification,” he continued, unbuttoning his jeans and ignoring her question. He pushed them down his hips, and when his briefs followed, she had to take care not to swallow her tongue at the sight of his monster length. Rey’s heart skipped a beat. “If you don’t get what you want _immediately_ , you have a meltdown. Like a fucking two-year-old.”

“That’s not fair,” she said, wincing as he tore her panties clean in half. They were her favorite—soft and cute and now completely ruined. How was she going to explain that one to her mom? 

“That’s what pretty girls always say,” he grunted, planting his hands on either side of her head, jaw tight, “when they don’t get what they want.”

“You’re being mean,” she whispered, tears slipping from the corners of her eyes. She laid her palm flat on his chest and ignored the way he shuddered in response. Again, she tried fruitlessly to wiggle away, but he simply covered her body with his own. Her breath caught at the sheer size of him. 

“I’m being honest.” Ben smiled darkly, eyes hot and intense on her face, and he swayed forward so the tip of his cock brushed her cunt. “But I’m also giving you exactly what you want, despite my better judgement. I promised to make you happy, after all.”

Was he really going to fuck her in the middle of his backyard? Out in the open where anyone could see? The thought made her nervous and strangely aroused. 

“Ben—you c-can’t—“ Her words cut off abruptly as he sank inside her, and her head dipped back, mouth opening and closing soundlessly. _Oh god, oh my god--_

Ben drew her legs over his hips. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? For me to put a baby in your pretty belly. My little girl wants to be full of cum, doesn’t she?” 

She moaned and pushed her hips into him. His cock was so massive it was almost painful. It stretched her walls to their limits, but like last time she remained still as he sank to the hilt. Her eyes watered as pain, sharp and immediate, darted like lightning through her abdomen. Completely sheathed inside her, Ben let out a relieved breath and cupped her waist.

“There we go,” he grunted. “Your pussy _wants_ my cock, doesn’t it? So greedy. Just like you.”

“Not greedy,” she gasped, reaching blindly for him. He lowered his head, and she latched desperately to the back of his neck. “Just want—“

“You _want_ and _want_ and _want_ ,” he snarled, sinking his teeth into the skin of her throat. She cried out in pain, but he simply held on until she quieted again. “You and your greedy cunt.” He bit down a second time. 

“Ben,” she gasped, nudging his chest. Warmth trickled down her neck. “You’re _hurting_ me. Please—it’s—”

He let go and licked away a tinge of red. Slowly, he began to thrust, his eyes black and unforgiving. “Maybe I need to hurt you. To remind you to behave. To remind you who you belong to. Not my sister, not Poe. _Me_.” 

“But—but—“ she spluttered, caught between fear and annoyance with his behavior and pure ecstacy at the slow glide of his cock. “I’m not a—”

“You _are_ ,” he insisted, and with an abrupt snap of his hips, added, “You’re a spoiled brat, Rey. Sometimes you need to be...reminded of your place.” He grinned humorlessly. ”Let me show you.”

She moaned again as he picked up the pace, not so much thrusting as pounding feverishly. His hips pistoned into her, driving her deeper into the grass, soil and broken bits of leaves sticking to her neck and crunching in her hair. He grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head while his other hand squeezed her waist. Eyes riveted to her breasts as they bounced beneath her shirt, Ben panted and cursed while he fucked into her.

“All I ask,” he said through gritted teeth, “is for you to _listen_ to me, Rey.”

“I do!” she cried, thrusting her hips into him, meeting him every time he snapped forward. Her body was covered in a fine layer of sweat now as they moved together, both of them panting with the effort. She didn’t want to sweat, she didn’t, but the pleasure was so _sweet_ and he was so _big_ \--

“No,” he snarled, dragging his tongue up the curve of her neck, “no, you don’t.” 

Ben released her wrists and gathered her into his chest, banding her close with an arm across her back. He buried his other hand in her hair and yanked, tilting her head back and exposing her neck to him. Rey whined, nervous he would bite her throat again. He pounded her into the grass, relishing her desperate whimpers. 

“You—“ she gasped, hips rolling as she sensed an orgasm building. “You love me, right?”

“ _Yes_ ,” he groaned, shoving his face into the curve of her neck, “ _fuck_ yes. I love you, I love you, I love—“

She shrieked as he hit a deep, sensitive spot inside her, and her body convulsed against him as her orgasm surged. She dug her heels into the backs of his thighs, forcing him as deep as he could go. Ben hissed and barked a sharp curse, his pace growing frantic and sloppy, their skin meeting in wet, squelching smacks that seemed to amplify in the quiet summer air. 

“ _Ben!_ ” she whined, pawing at his shoulders. “Ben, _please_ cum in me, _please_ , I need—“

He snapped at her ear and bit her neck again to shut her up. She screamed and let loose a sob. “Be a good girl for me, Rey,” he panted, body coiling. “Be a good girl and cum on my cock.”

“ _Yes_ ,” she cried, senseless with the heat and smell and sound of him. Her Ben, who loved her more than anyone, who would give her anything she asked for, who made her feel so good. 

“Love me, baby,” he said hoarsely, fucking her into the ground with such force she could feel tiny pebbles digging into her backside. 

“ _Yes_ ,” she sobbed, back arching off the ground, “ _yes, I do, I do!_ ” 

“Let me give you this,” he said, and gasped sharply as he began to cum. “Let me give you a baby.” Then, breathlessly, “Fuck—we shouldn’t—we need--”

“ _Please!_ ” she mewled, meeting him thrust for thrust. At the mention of babies, she lost herself completely. “Please, Ben, _please_ , I—“ 

She screamed then as her orgasm finally hit, cresting over her in a tidal wave of pleasure so intense she had to close her eyes against the dizziness. She screamed again, heels pushing him deep, as his cum spurted, filling her up, giving her what she so desperately craved. Babbling senselessly about cum and babies, Rey wrapped herself around Ben and held tight, burying her face in his neck as she exploded.

 _Mine. He’s all mine._

He grunted and kept thrusting, chest heaving, as their orgasms tapered off together. Beyond his shoulder Rey stared dazedly at the sky, eyes rolling every time his hips ground into her pussy. She ached, but in a sweet way that made her toes curl. Clumsily, she pressed a kiss to his throat and murmured happy nonsense.

“Are you satisfied, sweetness?” Ben collapsed on top of her, body slick with sweat, and mouthed at the old hickies on her neck. 

“Very,” she sighed, enjoying the lazy sway of his hips. His cock was still sheathed to the hilt and half-hard. 

“Think we made a baby?”

Her lips curved. “I hope so.”

He murmured nonsense into her skin, hugging her like he was afraid to let go. “You make me lose all sense, you know. We should’ve used a condom.”

She did her best to shrug, eyes heavy. “Mm, maybe.”

He licked his lips, then traced her collarbone with his tongue. “Your parents will kill me if I get you pregnant while you’re still in high school.”

A sharp pang of annoyance sliced through her post-coital haze. Oh, _now_ he wanted to be responsible? _Now_ he wanted to talk sense? Fine. She'd talk sense. “They’ll kill you for getting me pregnant at _all_.” 

A quiet moment passed. Rey played with his hair and glanced to the side. “Why did you break my necklace?” 

Ben grunted and didn’t respond. Well, okay then. He was probably irritated by her response. She knew he didn’t like to acknowledge that their relationship was more than that of lovers. To him, that was the only bond they shared now—not one of blood but of love. 

Rey didn’t care about his hangups. In fact, she didn’t much care about anyone’s opinion--if she did, she wouldn’t get anywhere in life. Mom could whine and complain all she liked about Rey being too young, but she was going to have her baby _and_ her Ben. 

Pregnancy. The word made her shiver with excitement. Her mom might be a problem, but Poe probably wouldn’t even notice she was pregnant until the day she started having contractions. He was too busy with _work_.

Or maybe something else.

“I need to call my dad,” Rey blurted thoughtlessly, and Ben stiffened around her, his lips abruptly leaving her neck. Probably for the best--she was covered in so many hickies there really wasn’t space for more. 

“Why’s that?” he asked in a tone so deceptively calm she could almost convince herself he wasn’t upset.

Almost.

“I need to ask him something.” She floundered under him for a moment before she realized he wasn’t going to move. “Ben, I need my phone.”

He was silent for a minute, and when he shifted to his knees, his cock bumped her clit. She squeaked and automatically raised her hips, but he stilled her with a big hand on her stomach. 

“You want to talk to Poe right now?” he asked, voice strangely low. It made her thighs clench around his hips. 

“Yes, please,” she whispered, sensing he was on the edge of refusing. And he could, too. All he’d need to do was lie on top of her again until she gave up. 

He exhaled slowly, eyes on her face. “Okay. If that’s what you want.”

She blinked in surprise when he slid her phone from his back pocket. “Hey, why do you have that?”

“Just checking that everything’s working properly.” He handed it over, their fingers brushing. His eyes were flat.

Frowning, Rey began to scoot away, but Ben kept his hand on her stomach. “Call him.”

“Ben—“ She stared at him, bewildered. He couldn’t be serious. She was almost completely naked, and he was still _inside_ her. Not exactly the prime conditions for a familial phone call. 

But his expression didn’t change. “Call him now, Rey.”

Swallowing, she unlocked the screen and brought up the keypad. Her phone rang four times before her father picked up.

“Yes?” Poe Dameron asked tersely. Rey suspected he hadn’t checked the caller ID before answering. He never spoke to her this way—like she was wasting his time. 

“It’s Rey,” she said softly, dropping her gaze from Ben’s face. He was making her nervous, looming and staring at her like that. 

“Oh.” Poe’s voice faded for a moment, then returned, gentler than before. “Hey, darling. What’s going on?”

“I just—“ She paused. Maybe she should hang up. There was no way what she thought was happening was...well, _happening_. Just because she had a weird feeling about him didn’t mean it was true. And yet—

“Are you at lunch?” She could hear people in the background, chatting and laughing, their voices subdued. Either he was still in the office or he’d gone out to eat. 

“Yeah, I’m on break,” her dad said, then hesitated. “Why? Is something wrong?”

“No,” she said slowly, suppressing a shiver when Ben slid his hands around her waist and abruptly lifted her off the ground. 

Her eyes flashed wide open, and she flailed for a second, free hand grabbing the back of his neck for balance. She glared at him, but he merely smiled and sat back in the grass, adjusting her in his lap. She huffed as his cock dragged in and out of her cunt; he was still buried in her, and although it was pleasant—that was putting it mildly—she was distinctly uncomfortable talking to her father with a man’s dick crammed in her pussy.

“Rey?” her dad prompted, sounding distracted.

She swallowed and ignored the way Ben’s hands settled firmly on her hips. “Dad, are you—I—where are you?”

“At lunch,” he said, annoyed now. “Listen, Rey, now’s not a great time—“

“What restaurant?” she interrupted, heart fluttering uneasily in her chest. _Don’t say Elixir, please don’t say Elixir._

Ben’s arms bound around her body, tight against her back, and he started to rock—the motion was very subtle, but enough for her breath to catch on a moan. She slapped at his shoulder, panicked, but he pushed his face into the crook of her neck and kept going, ignoring her alarmed look. 

“The seafood one,” her dad was saying. “Elixir. We went in the spring for Amilyn’s birthday, remember?” 

Rey made a soft, pained noise in the back of her throat. Ben hugged her closer, her breasts pillowing on his chest, nipples hard and aching. She tried to wriggle free, but he nipped at her throat until she stopped. God, that hurt. 

“Elixir?” she breathed, thinking, _Coincidence. Of course it is. It’s just a coincidence._

“That’s the one.” Poe’s voice was distant, and he sounded strange. Like he wanted to get off the phone. “Rey—“

“Dad,” she said, overriding him. “You know, that’s weird. One of my friends just told me they were there for lunch, too.”

Silence from the end of the line. Rey’s unease heightened into dread. Why wasn’t he saying anything?

“Can you—do you want to guess who it is?” she asked softly. _Can you guess what they’re eating? Certainly not your favorite dish. Certainly not sirloin steak, right?_

With no warning, Ben thrust up, slamming his cock so deep she hissed and arched her back, fumbling with the phone. He laughed into her neck and bounced her in his lap, hands splayed across her back to keep her in place. She whined and pushed at his shoulders, but it was no use moving him when he didn’t want to be moved. Caged into his chest, with one hand clutching the phone and her other hand bunched in a fist on his shoulder, Rey could do nothing but bite back her moans and try her best to ignore him. 

“Dad.” 

She could hear him breathing on the other end. But still, he didn’t say anything. And his silence turned her suspicions into disbelief. Not because she _didn’t_ believe it, but because she didn’t _want_ to.

“It’s Finn,” she whispered finally.

Poe exhaled quietly. “Darling—“

“Have you seen him? Finn, have you seen him?” she asked in a shrill voice totally unlike her own. “Have you—“ She broke off as Ben thrust sharply into her, eyes rolling in her head when his cock brushed her clit. 

_No, no, oh god, please--_

Undone, Rey whimpered and moved with him, impaling herself on his length. This wasn’t a conscious decision, but she could only hold off the pleasure for so long. His cock was hot and throbbing, and she sensed he was already close. She bounced in his lap, their bodies making loud, wet slaps every time he plunged back in. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” he snarled, making no attempt to conceal his voice. “You feel fucking fantastic, baby.” 

“Ben,” she whined, clinging to her phone, aware she was breathing harshly but unable to smother it. 

Poe’s voice was suddenly sharp. “Who is that?”

Rey was having trouble focusing. His cock slid in and out rapidly, and the friction between her legs grew so intense she had to squeeze her eyes shut for several long seconds before she combusted right then and there. 

Distantly, she became aware of movement from the other side of the fence. Through blurry eyes, she made out a thick shadow. A neighbor? 

Ben kissed her, prying her lips apart and swiping his tongue over hers, sloppy and wet, mumbling, “So tight, so fucking tight” into her open mouth. She moaned, and he slapped her ass. 

“Rey?” Her father was very loud now, almost yelling into the phone. “Who is that with you? Is that Ben?”

“Y-yes, Daddy,” she gasped, folding herself around Ben so she wouldn’t slide away. They were both so wet and _sticky_. “We—we’re—Ben and I are p-playing.” 

Ben grunted into her neck and slammed into her as hard as he could, so hard she yelped and dropped the phone. It fell somewhere in the grass, but she was near-senseless again and didn’t care. Sobbing, on the edge of release, she ground herself into his lap, writhing and bouncing in time with his thrusts. 

“ _Again_ ,” she gasped, yanking on his hair, forcing his mouth from her throat. “Please, _again_ , cum in me again, oh _god_ —“ 

Ben growled deep in his chest and fucked into her like a wild beast, hips jerking, arms tightening around her until she could hardly drag in a fresh breath. She screamed, once, as her orgasm ripped through her, and then his mouth was on hers, muffling her high keening. As he continued to rock them, he groped around on the lawn until he found her phone. 

“Dameron.” Ben’s voice was husky and low like he’d spent the last few hours roaring at the top of his lungs.

Rey couldn’t hear her father’s response. She clung instead to Ben, whimpering and occasionally moaning whenever he thrusted sharply, emptying his cum in the deepest recesses of her cunt. She craved his seed so badly that she found herself shamelessly milking him—walls tightening on his cock, hips pushing down, spine arching as she moved on him. Ben huffed into her neck and nipped her earlobe.

“I understand,” he said into the phone. One big hand massaged the curve of her ass. “Your concerns are valid, if irrelevant. Your daughter and I love each other very much.”

He hummed, and Rey ducked her head under his chin. A perfect fit. She listened to the rapid beating of his heart and closed her eyes, wishing everyday could be like this one. Just her and Ben, alone together, surrounded by softly chirping insects and the slight rustle of a hot summer breeze, the sun beating down on her naked body, his hands gliding across her skin like he couldn’t get enough. Like he was obsessed.

She welcomed his obsession. If he was obsessed, he wouldn’t leave. 

“Calm down, Poe,” Ben said mildly. “I’m going to take good care of her. You have my word.”

Then—shouting. Her father’s voice was faint through the speaker, but she could hear the force of his voice and winced. Had he heard them having sex? She definitely hadn’t done anything to keep quiet, and Ben had actually seemed to egg her on, like he’d wanted her dad to hear. 

“—and wouldn’t _that_ be a shame,” Ben was saying. He touched the corner of Rey’s mouth. She parted her lips, and he slipped a finger inside. Content to suck, she let her eyes drift closed again and rocked with him. “I know I’d hate to see Kaydel so devastated. To find out her husband was messing around with—”

Screaming now. Ben sighed heavily, but he was only faintly annoyed, so Rey stayed where she was. Her father could definitely blow things out of proportion sometimes. This couldn’t possibly be a huge deal, unless...

 _Messing around with—_ She wouldn’t think her friend’s name. She _wouldn’t._ Deny, deny, deny. Ben was probably talking about something else. Of course he was. 

“Yes, yes, I get that it’s unconventional,” Ben said, rolling his eyes for her benefit. Rey smiled sleepily. “But you can’t help who you love. I’m sure you know that better than anyone, Poe.”

Her dad was subdued now. Either he was all tired out or he knew he’d been outmaneuvered. Whichever it was, Rey was just glad that Ben’s attention would soon be on her again. She wanted a nap. 

“All very valid points,” Ben said diplomatically. He stroked a gentle hand through her hair, sifting the strands through his fingers. “But it all boils down to this: we can’t have Kaydel hearing about our...romantic endeavors. So we keep it simple. I won’t tell if you don’t.” 

A few more minutes passed. Rey was content to suck on Ben’s finger, sated and limp and warm in his lap. She mumbled, “I love you,” and he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

“I’ll be in touch.” Ben ended the call and slipped her phone back into his pocket. His arms came around her again, pressing her tight to his chest. She sighed happily and nuzzled his neck.

“Your father has some things to say about our relationship,” he said finally, voice soft like he didn’t want to wake her. 

“Mm. I’m not surprised.” Maybe she should be worried—her dad knew for sure she and Ben were together. But of course the discovery had been inevitable, and she was too at peace now to care what her father thought. She was moving out soon, after all. He wouldn’t be the boss of her for much longer. 

“Should I be worried?” she asked after a substantial pause. Her dad was probably a little freaked out by their relationship; she’d been that way too, at first.

Ben exhaled slowly. “No. Your father has been...busy himself. Busy with things your mother wouldn’t appreciate.” He licked his lips. “That’s putting it mildly.”

“It has to do with Finn, doesn’t it.” Her voice was flat. Lifeless. _Don’t think about it. Don’t think about Finn and—_

He hummed his agreement. “Finn and your father have been keeping secrets of their own, so we’ve agreed to let things lie for now.”

Rey frowned and raised her head. “What do you mean by that?”

Ben’s face was flushed, his eyes dark and heavy-lidded like he’d only just woken up. Something in her chest stirred at the sight. _I did that. I made Ben look like that._

“I mean,” he said, eyes on her face, “that your mother will have to be kept in the dark about our arrangement. For a little while longer.”

Rey nodded, unconcerned. “If you think so.”

He kissed her then, and Rey smiled against his lips. She slid her hands around to grip the back of his neck and licked his tongue and the inside of his mouth. Cinnamon and heat and whatever he’d been eating earlier. Something sweet. 

“Was Daddy really mad?” she asked quietly. 

Ben stiffened. “You could say that.”

“What’s wrong?” Alarmed, she stared into his eyes, searching for an explanation. Why was he so tense all of a sudden? 

He shook his head. “It’s nothing, baby. I’m just glad you’re here with me now.”

She brightened. “So am I. How long until I can move in?”

“Well, now that your dad knows about our arrangement, the sooner the better.” His lips twisted wryly. 

“By the end of the month?” It was mid-June, so it wasn’t that long a wait. 

“By next _week_ ,” he corrected, and laughed when she squealed excitedly. They kissed again, and although he clung to her so tightly her toes curled, she could still sense that unwelcome tension in his body.

“Ben,” she pouted, blinking up at him. “Something's wrong. Tell me what it is.” 

“Baby, I told you—“

“ _No_ ,” she interrupted, clenching around his dick so he grunted and shut up. “Don’t lie. You love me, don’t you?”

He softened immediately. “Very much.”

“Then tell me what’s wrong,” she insisted, pressing her mouth to his cheek. “Please. I want to make you happy too.”

Ben was silent for a long moment. 

“I don’t like that you rely on him,” he admitted finally. “I don’t like that there’s another man in your life.”

 _Him?_ It took a long second for this to register. “You mean my _dad_?” 

He nodded stiffly, jaw working like he was forcing the words out. “Poe is your father. I get that. But if you love him—“ 

“I love both of you,” she said stubbornly, kissing his mouth again. “You’re _both_ important to me.”

He licked the side of her throat so suddenly she jerked back. But he steadied her and tangled his fingers in her hair, forcing them to meet eye-to-eye. “I don’t want you splitting your attention between us. It’s not fair to me. I need you more than he ever will, Rey. Trust me.”

Rey didn’t know what to say, so she kissed him again. He moaned but broke it off after only a few seconds. “I’m your daddy now,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers. “I’m all you need.”

“He’s my father,” she whispered, confused by Ben’s possessiveness. “He raised me, Ben. I can’t just cut him—”

“For me?” he interrupted. “Will you do it for me?” 

“You want me to stop speaking to Dad?” she asked, panicked at the thought. Why would Ben ask that of her? Her parents could be annoying, but she still loved them. 

“No, of course not,” he said, although he looked sheepish like the idea had crossed his mind. “Just...don’t rely on him so much from now on.” He lowered his voice and breathed, “Rely on me. I want you to need me as much as I need you.” 

“Okay,” Rey agreed reluctantly, chest tight. She didn’t know how to feel about any of this. “I’ll...go to you first if I need something.”

“Need something, want something—whatever it is, I’ll take care of it,” he promised, eyes bright. 

“I trust you,” she whispered, blushing at his enthusiasm. 

“I love you,” he replied, and kissed her slowly. 

His cock twitched inside her, and he gently lowered them back to the grass. She sighed and arched her back while he drew her shirt over her head. She lay naked in the grass before him, tanned and slick with sweat. His eyes darkened as they drifted from her breasts to the spot between her legs where they were still joined. 

It hit her then. She was _naked_. In the middle of his backyard. In broad daylight. She went light-headed at the thought. A neighbor could walk by on the opposite side of the fence, peek through the widely-spaced slats, and see them. They could—

Wait a second. 

Rey tilted her head. The fence was free of shadows. Whoever had been there earlier was gone. Or maybe she’d just imagined them to begin with. Whichever it was, she exhaled quietly with relief. The thought of anyone watching as she and Ben loved each other was too horrifying to consider for long. 

Ben hovered over her, his cock still buried to the hilt. Her legs were spread, knees bent, heels digging into the small of his back. Her bare breasts were dotted with bruises and love bites. Her throat and wrists and hips were covered with his marks. His eyes raked over her approvingly. 

Ben kissed the dewy hollow of her throat. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Rey.”

She blushed and looked anywhere but at him. He licked both nipples and between her breasts, then the underside of her jaw and across her collarbones. She shuddered as he tracked saliva over her skin, moving with painstaking slowness. 

“Can we—“ She reached for his shoulders, lips trembling. 

“You want me to make love to you, sweetness?” His voice was soft and low, a warm caress. It was her favorite voice, the one that said he was overcome with love. 

She nodded quickly, and he grabbed his shirt by the back of his neck and yanked it over his head. His jeans and briefs followed, and then he was on top of her again, their hips slotted, chests flushed together, their bodies instantly rocking in a rhythm familiar to them and them alone.

“Ben,” she whispered, eyes glazed and heavy, “make me yours.”

He brushed his lips to her ear, gathered her close, and whispered back, “You’ve always been mine.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They heard Kaydel before Rey even opened the car door.

Ben had parked at the curb at six o’clock on the dot—perfect timing. Mom would be pleased she was home in time for dinner. But then one thing led to another led to another, and twenty more minutes passed before they could tear themselves apart. Hair messy, lips swollen, they frantically rearranged their clothes in their separate seats. 

“I wish you could stay the night,” he murmured, licking his lips. “Just this once.”

“Can’t I ask my mom?” she said hopefully, holding on to his hand. Faintly, she could hear a shrill voice and rolled her eyes. Mom was home, alright. 

But he grimaced and admitted, “There’s no way Kaydel will agree to it. Trust me.”

Rey sighed and reached for the door handle. “Okay, I guess. Will I see you tomorrow?”

The door swung open, and Kaydel’s shrill voice pierced the late evening stillness. Alarm sung through Rey, and she was out of the Porsche like a shot. She was halfway across the lawn before Ben snatched her around the waist. 

“Let go!” she cried, eyes stuck to the front door of the house. “What if she’s hurt?” 

He shushed her, but Rey was in no mood to be obedient. She twisted out of his grip, intent on barging into the house, metaphorical guns blazing, but she made it only a step. Then Ben was yanking her into his arms, and she was so startled by his strength that she let him. He cupped her bottom with one huge palm, and she flung her arms and legs around him, fighting back tears.

“Maybe we should call the police,” she whispered into his ear, clutching him like a lifeline. Should they even go inside? What if there was someone in the house, and that someone had a gun? 

Ben shook his head and cautiously twisted the knob. The front door swung open soundlessly, and Kaydel’s voice nearly blasted him back a step. 

“—can’t _believe_ you think it’s okay for us to send our _sixteen_ year old to be—“

Then her dad's voice. Rey perked up—even though it was a Saturday night, he was usually at the office until eight or nine. He was early today. She squirmed, trying to get down, but Ben merely readjusted his hold and strode into the kitchen.

Poe noticed them first, and his face darkened. Kaydel continued to rant, not seeing them hesitate in the doorway.

“—spent all this time keeping her out of trouble, and now you just want to toss her into a pool of... _sharks_! Really, Poe! How can you possibly—“

“Honey,” Poe interrupted, eyes on Ben. “Listen to me—“

“No,” she snapped, “for once _you’re_ going to listen to _me_. Rey is still far too young to be on her own. She’s been sheltered here. She’s not ready for—“

“Kaydel.” Ben’s deep voice cut through her mother’s ranting like a knife. She blinked and finally seemed to notice them both.

“Oh, I’m—“ Then her mother’s eyes filled with tears, and when she spoke, her voice cracked. “ _Rey_.” 

“Mom?” Her throat was weirdly tight. Why was her mother so upset? It sounded like her parents had been arguing for a while, and based on the little bit she’d overheard, the topic of conversation was Rey herself. But why was her mother freaking out? She was a fifteen minute car ride away, for Pete’s sake, not on the other side of the Pacific! 

“Rey, honey.” Her mom’s face crumpled, and she stepped towards Rey, arms outstretched. She ignored her brother completely. 

Ben tightened his grip and swiveled so Rey was shielded from the rest of the room. Her mother’s face twisted to an expression of confusion. 

“Ben, put me _down_!” Rey thrashed in his arms, annoyed by his interference. 

“We need to discuss some things first,” he said sharply, eyes on Kaydel. 

“Am I not allowed to stand while you do it?” Rey demanded, and jumped when he pinched her bottom. She kicked her feet, but only half-heartedly. He was being possessive again, and she’d just have to deal with it. There was no negotiating with him when he was like this. 

“Let Rey down,” her dad said in a low voice. 

“No,” Ben said flatly, then directed his attention to her mother. “I’m assuming Poe gave the okay for Rey to move in with me.”

Kaydel, as if remembering her earlier fury, straightened and narrowed her eyes. “I see the two of you have already had a discussion about Rey’s living arrangements? I guess you decided her _mother_ doesn’t need to be involved.”

“We didn’t intend to leave you out,” Ben said softly. “But your opinion was clear to us both. His opinion was the deciding factor.”

“She’s not moving out,” Kaydel snapped, shoving a finger into her brother’s chest. She was breathing heavily. “Sixteen is too young. She needs to finish school first. Gain some life experience. For Christ’s sake, Rey’s never had a job!”

“She’s working off her debt to me,” Ben reminded Mom, and when Rey shifted restlessly he caressed her hip to soothe her. She settled in his arms, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“Solo,” Dad snapped, stepping forward with a deliberateness that frightened Rey. He looked on the verge of imploding. “I’d really appreciate it if you’d put my daughter down.”

“Dad,” she said placatingly, “it’s fine. Ben and I—“

“Oh yes, I know _exactly_ what you and Ben have been up to, Rey,” he bit out, eyes dark. She shrank into Ben, who rubbed her lower back soothingly and murmured reassurances. 

Poe’s face twisted. 

“What do you mean?” Mom asked softly, her gaze darting between Ben and Dad. She was obviously trying to get a read on the situation but wasn’t quite managing. 

Ben shifted Rey to his hip and cleared his throat. “Listen, Kaydel. You know that Rey and I are close.”

Mom nodded silently. Something strange flickered in her eyes, nearly too quick for Rey to catch. Huh. 

“We love each other.” Ben hesitated, and she sensed he was treading a very thin line. “Very much.”

“I know that,” Kaydel said softly, gritting her teeth. Her smile was pained—not the usual pleasant expression she wore when talking to her brother. It was...unsettling because, in a way, it seemed more _genuine_. “I do. Ben, this is my daughter we’re talking about. Don’t take her away from me.” She was almost begging, and Rey's confidence about their whole scheme dimmed. 

“Kaydel.” Ben sounded frustrated. “Rey _wants_ to move out. I’m more than willing to have her under my roof. Poe has given his permission. This isn’t a kidnapping.” Mom went completely still, but no one else appeared to notice. “No one is _forcing_ Rey to do anything she’s unwilling to do.”

Quite unexpectedly, Mom started to cry. She sagged against the kitchen counters and covered her eyes with a shaking hand. Rey made a pained noise in the back of her throat, feeling guilty despite herself, and Ben pressed a quick kiss to her temple. 

Across the kitchen, Poe inhaled a sharp breath. “Solo—”

“Something you want to say, Dameron?” Ben raised an eyebrow, calm as could be. A challenge. 

Rey understood then. At least a little. Dad knew about the two of them thanks to their earlier phone call. Ben knew about her dad and whatever was going on with Finn. They would both keep silent about the other’s transgression for fear of their own secrets being exposed. Her mother was the only one not in the know. 

_What a mess._ Rey’s stomach twisted uncomfortably, and her eyes unconsciously sought out the large bottle of Tums her mom kept in the kitchen’s overstocked medicine cabinet. All this family drama was making her sick. 

_Finn._ She needed to text Finn. She had to ask him, point-blank, what he was doing with her dad, if only to clear up all this uncertainty. The very thought made her nauseous. Probably nothing, right?

Probably. 

“She’s my k-kid,” Mom said through her tears. “I thought m-maybe, once she left for college in a few years, I’d be ready, but not so soon, not—”

“Mom,” Rey said, suppressing a sigh. This was familiar ground--she was just being dramatic. “I’m literally right down the road, and like Ben said, I’ll be...working off my debts." She blushed and cleared her throat. "You know, being an _adult_. You’re always yelling at me about that.” 

Kaydel blinked. “I don’t _yell_ —“ 

Rey flapped a dismissive hand. “You know what I mean. I’ll get more life experience this way! Ben will—”

“ _Uncle_ Ben, darling,” Mom corrected, mouth twisting, and a tight ball of frustration ignited in Rey’s chest. Always correcting. Always interrupting. 

“She can call me Ben,” he rumbled, mouth brushing her forehead. “It’s fine.”

Kaydel ignored that and wiped tears from her cheeks. “I know you love her—“

“Too much,” Poe said through his teeth, like he was unable to help himself. “Isn’t that right?”

“Careful,” Ben warned quietly, and her dad’s jaw ticked. They glared at each other, stewing silently. 

In the ensuing quiet, Rey made a decision. She would have to break her mother’s heart a little more. Mom wouldn’t let her go otherwise. She’d keep stalling or making excuses or raging at Ben or Dad or both. 

“Mom,” Rey whispered, imploring her to look up. “I want to go with him. I want to live with Ben.”

Mom shook her head wordlessly and stared at the far wall. 

“It’s for the best,” she continued, then, with a heavy dose of courage, added, “I’ve outgrown this place. There’s nothing for me here. Ben can handle me better than you or Dad.”

Mom flinched, but Rey knew her words were seeping in. She only spoke truth. It was just a matter of time now until she gave in.

“Nothing for you here?” Mom repeated incredulously, her breath hitching. “Rey, I’m your _mother_. You belong here. With me.” 

Rey shrugged. “I have to leave sometime. Why not now?”

Honestly, Rey hadn’t imagined that her mother would ever cling so tight. They hadn’t gotten along in many years. Ever since she’d hit puberty at age twelve, Rey and her mother had merely tolerated each other. Why Kaydel was digging her heels in _now_ was a mystery. 

“I want to sleep over Ben’s tonight,” Rey added when no one said anything. Might as well get that out there. 

“ _No_ ,” Dad said sharply, and he sounded genuinely afraid. What did he think would happen to her over there? Sheesh. 

Ben silently turned his back to the room and carried her upstairs. She wiggled out of his grip on the landing and dashed into her bedroom, heading straight for the closet. She’d need an overnight bag and some essentials: fresh underwear, deodorant, her makeup bag, at least one additional outfit, moisturizer…

She sensed Ben looming behind her a second before his hands descended on her hips. He nuzzled the top of her head and murmured, “Pack quickly. Your parents are upset.”

“No kidding,” she muttered, reaching for an old Louis Vuitton overnight bag. It was slightly too high, and Ben chuckled as he pulled it down for her. She wrinkled her nose. “Don’t laugh!” 

Ben yanked her against him and lifted her around the waist. She shrieked laughter until she remembered that they’d left her parents behind in a dead silence. Best not to rouse their attention. 

“Put me down!” she demanded in a whisper, both of them stumbling around her bedroom. Ben twirled her around and backed her up against her massive bureau, kissing the corner of her mouth, her forehead, her cheeks. She jerked back, hissing, “Don’t you _dare_ —“

Poe barreled into the bedroom, eyes on fire. He strode right up to them and shoved Ben away, sending him staggering to the bed.

“Get your fucking hands off my daughter.” He shoved Ben again. “You _fucking_ creep.” 

“Dad—“ Rey glanced nervously between them. Where was Mom? She couldn’t handle this on her own. 

“You _fucking_ pervert.” 

Ben was steady now, his balance restored to him, and as Rey watched, a muscle ticked in his jaw. Her father was a big man—broad-shouldered and tall and relatively well-muscled for a man in his mid-forties—but Ben had him beat in every regard. He had to have at least five inches on him, and his shoulders dwarfed Poe’s own. Ben was also more than a decade younger. If it came to a fight, there was no doubt who’d win. 

“ _Dad_.” Rey tried again, stepping forward. She laid a hesitant hand on his arm, feeling the muscles bunched tightly beneath his jacket sleeve. 

He shook her off, impatient, eyes locked on Ben. “Stay out of this, Rey. God only knows how much he’s messed with your head.”

“Stop it!” she cried when Poe surged forward. 

Ben sidestepped and held up a placating hand. “We don’t need to do this, especially not here.”

“Oh, you mean where your sister can hear you’ve been fucking her teenage daughter?” Poe snapped, hands twitching into fists. “Your own _niece_. Jesus Christ!” 

Ben was unimpressed. “Perhaps you’d like me to explain to _your wife_ that her husband has been doing the same?” His lips curved into a smirk. “Fucking a teenage boy, I mean. Or do I have that wrong?” He cocked his head, pretending to reconsider. 

Rey stared at her father, speechless. So it was true after all. Her dad and Finn. She refused to accept it, although now she had no choice but to _believe_ it. That was why Finn had been so distant with her lately, why he wanted to avoid her mother—he was sleeping with her _dad_. Wincing, she touched the side of her head, as if that would ward off a headache. 

_When did my family get so fucked up?_

“Dad,” she barked, pointing at her door. This was too much. It was all just too much. “You need to leave.”

“Rey, go downstairs,” Dad said without looking at her. He and Ben were a few feet apart, staring at each other with equally blank expressions. “We’ll talk about this later.”

“I’m not going anywhere except to Ben’s house.” She crossed her arms and stood her ground. 

“Stop calling him Ben,” Poe snarled. “He is your _uncle_.” 

Rey ignored him and wandered back to her closet, yanking the Louis Vuitton bag off the floor. She started stuffing random articles of clothing inside—panties, bras, shirts, PJs, socks. 

“Rey is coming with me,” Ben said quietly. “You don’t have a say in this.”

“I am her _father_ ,” he whisper-shouted, shoving his face inches from Ben’s. “Of course I have a fucking say! I’m not going to willingly send her off with a man who gets off on... _touching_ young girls.”

Ben’s face hardened, and fear shot down Rey’s spine. That look was _scary_. She would back down, if she was her dad. “Be careful, Poe.” 

Trying to prevent more madness, Rey dropped the bag on her bed and approached her father. “Ben loves me,” she told him shakily. “He’s—”

Poe whirled on her, eyes blazing, and she flinched back, bumping into the bureau. “He does not love you. Not in any way that matters. This man—”

“ _Stop_.” Ben snatched her dad’s arm out of mid-air and forced him away. His voice was dangerously low. “You’re scaring her.”

Incensed, Poe stormed forward and swung a quick fist at Ben’s face. She gasped, but Ben avoided it easily and stepped in front of her, shielding her father from view. He braced himself for another attack.

Rey scrambled backwards and cried, “Daddy, please!”

Instantly both Ben and Poe shifted their attention to her. Startled, she looked back and forth between the two. Poe narrowed his eyes. 

“Oh, so that’s how it is.” He chuckled nastily. “You’re teaching my daughter all kinds of interesting things, aren’t you, Solo, you sick _fuck_.” Her father bared his teeth and hissed, ”I knew I should’ve kept you away from our family, from _her_ , but Kaydel swears you’ve changed. Joke’s on her, huh?”

Rey’s lower lip trembled. She wasn’t getting through to her father, and Ben would play this game as long as he did. There was too much testosterone in the air, and she didn’t understand her dad’s last comment. What did he mean by, _I knew we should’ve kept you away from her_? Keep Ben from Rey? But why would her parents do that? 

She didn’t know what to do or say, so instead of waiting around for one to break the other’s nose, she fled the bedroom. Ben called after her, but she didn’t stop. 

Downstairs, her mother was sobbing on the living room couch. Her stomach convulsed again. Rey was getting whiplash from all the chaotic emotions. 

“Mom,” she said softly, and even though she kept her voice low, Kaydel still jumped like she’d been zapped. 

“Rey.” Her mother opened her arms, and Rey sagged into them. It was eerily silent upstairs. She didn’t want to imagine what was being said or done. 

“I’m going home with Ben,” she said straightaway. There weren’t going to be any misunderstandings on her watch. “You don’t need to worry. He’s promised to take good care of me.”

Kaydel sniffled. “You leaving like this—so soon—it just, I feel…” She swallowed heavily and blurted, “It makes me feel so _old_!” 

Ah. So _that_ was what this was about? Rey suppressed an exasperated sigh. 

“Mom, you’re, like, thirty-six.” 

“Thirty-four,” she corrected instantly, dabbing at her eyes. 

“Even better!” Rey threw up her hands. “Seriously, Mom, all the other parents are, like, way into their forties.”

She wasn’t entirely sure why she bothered. Her mother was materialistic and shallow, and she often viewed Rey as a much younger sister or friend than as a daughter. She’d thought it odd how attached Mom was to keeping Rey here, but now she realized—her leaving only signified an increase in Kaydel’s own age. It didn’t have much to do with Rey, as usual.

She allowed her mother two minutes of peace before she said, “You should go get Dad.” 

“Why?” Mom muttered bitterly. “He agreed to this whole thing.” 

Oh, yes, it was the whole world against Kaydel Damereon. Boo-hoo. 

“I’m afraid Ben will beat him up.”

Kaydel snorted and closed her eyes. “He would never.”

Rey flashed back to the fury in Ben’s eyes when Dad snapped at her, and she doubted that very much but kept silent on the topic.

Mom exhaled slowly, and when she spoke, her voice had lost its shrillness. It was heavy now—serious. “I love my brother, Rey. He’s the only family I have left, you know.”

Rey _did_ know. Mom’s parents and grandparents were all long dead. As siblings, she and Ben hadn’t been especially close until Rey was born. In more ways than one, Kaydel often told her, she’d united the family.

“I want to always think the best of him,” Mom continued slowly, avoiding Rey’s gaze. “Ben has good intentions. Never forget that.”

Okay then. Rey stared at her mother with confusion. Where was this coming from? Hesitantly, she patted the back of Mom’s hand, and quick as a flash, as if she’d been waiting for it, Mom clasped their fingers in a surprisingly strong hold. 

“Rey.” Her mom’s voice was a whisper, and when she finally raised her head, Rey saw there were more tears in her eyes. “I have always loved you. Please know that that has always been true. You are the single greatest thing to ever happen to me.” 

Rey swallowed a lump. Even though it was a lie, she said, “I know, Mom.” 

A few minutes later Ben descended the stairs, clutching her overnight bag in one hand. Relieved, she ran to him and threw her arms around his waist. He set the bag down carefully before hugging her back. 

“Are you okay?” she whispered into his chest. 

“Never better,” he rumbled, cupping the back of her head. His eyes flickered over her necklace, and a small smile touched his lips. “Your dad’s just feeling overprotective.”

“Can we leave now?” She tilted her head up so she could read his expression. Aside from the tightness in his jaw he seemed normal. Rey offered a tentative smile, which he returned. 

“Let’s go home.” 

Her mom said nothing. 

In the car, Ben’s hands gripped the steering wheel much too tight. His knuckles actually went white, and Rey bit her bottom lip. What had Dad said to him? 

“Rey,” he said finally, staring out the windshield. “Your father has a secret.”

 _Yeah, he’s apparently sleeping with one of my best friends._ She remained quiet. Thoughtful. 

Ben swallowed and inhaled slowly. “Your mother...she has a secret, too.”

Rey frowned. It wasn’t surprising that her mother hid things from her— _everyone_ had secrets, after all—but was it on the same level as her dad’s? She didn’t see how that was possible. Save for their last conversation, Mom was very transparent.

“What is it?” she asked, feigning indifference. 

But he shook his head and pulled away from the curb. “That’s not something I can share with you.”

Unthinkingly, Rey crossed her arms and scooched towards the door. “But you know what it is.”

“Yes.”

“Tell me,” she demanded, raising her chin. 

“No.”

Her eyebrows threatened to hit the roof of the car. A flat-out refusal? She hadn’t expected that. Ben was usually accommodating when she made it clear she wanted something. 

They sat in an uncomfortable silence. 

Ben guided the Porsche down a crowded boulevard. Storefronts were lit up with neon advertisements, and food vendors peppered the sidewalks. Her stomach rumbled, and she realized she’d missed dinner after all. But her appetite was the least of her worries. 

Her mom had a secret, one big enough to rival her father’s infidelity, and now that she knew of its existence, she would stop at nothing to figure it out. _I have always loved you._ Was there a reason Rey should think otherwise? 

Time to put her plan into action. If Ben was unwilling to cooperate, then she would return the favor. 

“Why can’t you tell me?” Her voice was very calm now. 

Ben rolled his lips and stared determinedly out of the windshield. 

“Is Mom cheating on Dad, too?” The idea was horrifying. 

“No,” he said quickly, “no, it’s not like that.”

“Then tell me what it _is_ like.” They braked to a stop at a red light near a busy intersection. 

“Please just trust me,” he said softly. “It’s enough for you to know she has one. Specifics aren’t...won’t help. Not now.”

Rey gritted her teeth and glanced out of her window. “So you think it’s okay to tell me my mom has a secret but withhold all the details? How is that fair?”

He sighed and drummed his fingers on the wheel. “Rey—“

“You’re an asshole,” she said calmly.

And in one smooth motion, she yanked on the door handle and fled the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **oof me and this chapter got BEEF. ive worked on it endlessly these past 2 weeks but it's finally at a place that i feel is Good Enough for posting.**
> 
> **do not look at me do not look at the chapter count nobody saw anything**
> 
> [FamiSafe app](https://famisafe.wondershare.com/new/?utm_expid=.boetQ5JZSuacw28coq43yg.1&utm_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F)


	6. cusp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 19k good luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **there’s a flashback sequence here that’s uh disturbing 😬**   
>  **b e w a r e**
> 
> **TW: talk of miscarriage, extreme underage (kissing, clothed male/naked female, come eating 😳)**

Maybe Ben called after her. Maybe he got out of the car only to realize he couldn't simply abandon it in the street. Maybe he didn’t say anything at all. Maybe he drove away with little more than a shrug and decided she could learn a lesson or two if he left her behind. 

It didn’t matter. As soon as Rey slammed shut the door of his Porsche, she darted halfway down the block and turned her focus inward, sweeping Ben from her mind as effectively as an eraser blots a chalkboard. Tourists in floral shirts and stylish fanny packs—never would she have thought _fanny packs_ , of all things, popular—littered the streets, phones and cameras in hand. 

Despite the weight on her chest, Rey snorted derisively. These people genuinely believed they’d catch a celebrity walking out and about so late at night? Just like that? Idiots. They were embarassing themselves. Sometimes she hated living in a tourist trap.

Somewhat winded, she paused at the corner of a large intersection and waited with a small group for the light change. 

It struck her as patently ridiculous that _this_ was her life. Running from her uncle through the darkened streets of her hometown. Just days ago things had been so _normal_. She’d wake late in the day to texts from Rose and Finn and find dozens of messages from online friends. It would be too late for breakfast, and she’d skip lunch too if Mom was occupied. Sometimes she’d sit poolside; other times she’d demand a ride to a friend’s house or the mall—usually both. She had no one to worry about but herself, and her mom would likely be snipping through magazines for fashion ideas—although lately she preferred Pinterest—while her dad was at work. _Actually_ at work, and not just pretending. 

Everything and everyone orderly, perfect, and in its place. Rey liked for things to be just as she expected. 

The light changed, and crowds of people surged across the intersection. Only two blocks over was the main plaza of the world-famous boardwalk, but she wanted to avoid that particular area in favor of the beach, which should be dead this time of night. Once daylight faded, people tended to gravitate towards the amusement park rides and bizarre fried foods. Oreos, pickles, ice cream—you name it. All completely gag-worthy. 

As she trekked across the pavement, Rey wished, fleetingly, for a different timeline. If only she could go back to the day of her parents’ Memorial Day Weekend party, to the moment when Ben threw her into the pool and ruined her phone. Surely things would’ve continued on as normal if she hadn’t demanded a new one. Surely.

Not that it was her fault necessarily, but all her troubles started that day. First the phone, then Ben’s attitude, then the facade of her new “job,” then the revelation of her father’s after-hours activities. Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. She couldn't catch a damn break. Now there was apparently something _else_ , some secret involving her mother. 

When had her life gotten so damn _messy_? 

Tears stung the backs of her eyes, but she didn’t allow them to fall. Instead she held her head high as she worked her way through the crowds on the boardwalk and descended the wooden stairs to the empty beach. Sand stretched quite far in either direction, and for a moment—just a brief one, but oddly poignant—she imagined herself somewhere completely isolated. Like a wild Caribbean island. Or like a desert planet, with nothing but sand and sunken debris for miles and miles. It would probably be peaceful—at first. But she knew herself. The peace would give way to boredom and, eventually, loneliness. 

She was always so goddamned lonely. 

Rey prided herself on her ability to always gain the upper hand. Everybody thought she was shallow, but there was a certain benefit to being _really good_ at being shallow. If Rose mentioned a new handbag she was interested in, Rey made sure to buy it first, in the biggest size and most expensive design. If a teacher at school complained about her phone use in class, she would simply email an administrator about “inappropriate language.” Sometimes “inappropriate touching,” if she was feeling particularly resentful.

Rey was often forced to get creative to get what she wanted. She knew she was privileged, but it had never really mattered to her. Some people had money, some people didn’t. Big deal. What _mattered_ was what you did with your advantages. Pouting worked on Dad, whining and dogged persistence worked on Mom—occasionally guilt-tripping, too—but the thing is, those methods only worked if people were paying attention. 

Her father had always been relatively distant, even before Finn. So his inattention lately wasn’t a huge surprise. Her mother, meanwhile, had suffocated her with attention until puberty, when she’d suddenly backed off with an abruptness even a twelve-year-old, self-absorbed Rey recognized, and remembering that time still hurt. 

Her transition from pre-adolescence to adolescence had been...rough. Her periods were usually paralyzing—terrible nausea, stomach cramps agonizing enough to warrant the fetal position, blurry vision, and so on. But that first one had been absolutely debilitating—a terrible introduction to womanhood. As the days and weeks passed and she suffered aches and sore muscles from growing pains, Rey had found herself confused by her own body—her budding breasts, for one, and the perplexing sensations between her legs when she touched her privates at night. Suddenly girls were wearing makeup and boys were staring at her legs, and everyone knew about the “birds and the bees” talk. 

Dad had acted the same as always—a comforting presence, one that was slightly baffled by her preteen woes and “feminine issues.” It was Mom who really shifted Rey’s attitude from carefree and happy to subdued and wary.

To this day, Rey still didn’t understand what she’d done wrong. According to Rose, _their_ mother-daughter relationship had hit a few bumps but ultimately remained unchanged. Rey's mom, meanwhile, had pulled so far back it was like they were standing on two different planets. When she wasn’t nagging or scolding, Mom was strangely absent. She looked at Rey like one who no longer recognized faces. 

Except she recognized Dad just fine. 

She edged across the sand towards the ocean. A small, barely-there wave tickled her toes, and she sighed. It was only early June, so the water wasn’t quite warm yet, but neither was it arctic cold. A couple more degrees and she might even consider swimming. Not right now, of course, but maybe tomorrow. Or the next day. A house with a pool made trips to the beach extremely rare, which was a shame. 

Rey pushed her big toe deep into the wet sand. How many times had she caught her mom staring at her in those early years? Even before she hit puberty, in fact. It seemed like every time she looked up from her homework or asked her mom a question she would gaze blankly back. This used to send a chill down Rey’s spine, but she eventually got used to it. 

How many times had she heard Mom make an offhand comment about her appearance? “Your hair’s much darker this year.” “You’re so skinny, Rey. I wish you’d gotten my curves.” “I’m jealous of your eyes, darling! So pretty. I wonder who you got them from.” 

Backhanded compliments. Passive aggressive compliments. Look too closely and you’d see they weren’t really compliments at all. But Rey didn't like to look closely. If she did, she saw things that made her stomach turn.

She frowned and tugged at a loose strand of her hair. Only in the past year had these comments gotten under Rey's skin, and that was because she didn’t really look like either of her parents. This had begun to bother her more and more. Kaydel was blonde-haired and blue-eyed, tall and subtly curvy while Poe was tanned and even taller, with black hair and brown eyes. She didn’t have her mom’s nose or her father’s lips. She didn’t have her mom’s cheekbones or her father’s coloring. She often felt as if she’d disappointed them somehow. 

And though part of her had desperately yearned for a baby brother or sister, another part of her—a festering, cleverly hidden part—had worried that a second child would look much more like her parents than she did. Maybe they would love the baby more. Maybe they would be reminded, every time they compared this new baby to their older daughter, how much Rey resembled a stranger. 

Tears pricked her eyes again, and she stared angrily at the sky. It wasn’t her _fault_ she looked the way she did. For God’s sake, she even made an appointment every two months to maintain her blonde highlights because _one time_ a stranger had admired the similarity to Mom's hair. She was pathetic. 

She swiped an errant tear away, frustrated that this still hurt her. When Rey had a baby of her own, she would _never_ treat them like her mother treated her. She would never isolate them or give them confusing, backhanded compliments. Rey would love her baby with her whole heart, and she would never for a moment consider distancing herself, no matter what the baby said or did or looked like. A baby would give her someone to focus on; a baby would make sure she wasn’t lonely. She would even wear those ugly fucking maternity clothes for the baby-- _that_ was love.

Rey swallowed through a tight throat. She'd thought Ben might give her that baby, but he was being so damn confusing about it. Hitting then kissing her, fucking then ignoring her. One minute he was determined to make her happy, the next he refused to give her any clear answers. This wasn’t the way things were supposed to go. He was _supposed_ to give her anything she wanted. 

She still didn’t understand what _he_ wanted from _her_ , but she absolutely detested the idea that he had the upper hand. That was _her_ area of expertise. _She_ was the one in charge, not him. Rey wasn’t one to be meekly led around at the end of a rope, and she wouldn’t allow anyone, even Uncle Ben, to derail her from getting her way. 

She closed her eyes and tipped her head back again, inhaling the fresh scent of saltwater and sand. Memories flashed through her mind, sun-dappled and full of laughter—days spent surfing the waves on boogie boards, making friends with nearby kids, building sandcastles and digging trenches, pretending to swim away from jellyfish and sharks and other dangerous sea creatures. 

Life was easier back then. Pre-puberty. All she’d had to worry about was keeping her bathing suit in place and avoiding her parents when they tried to call her in for the night. Laughing with Mom and Dad on the couch, the three of them smelling like sunblock. Raucous games of Old Maid and Slap Jack with Dad’s lucky deck of cards. Riding the rollercoasters and twirling teacups at the boardwalk amusement park, the air smothered with the scents of cotton candy and buttered popcorn, salt water taffies and funnel cake. 

The good days. You never notice that’s the case until they're long over. 

Rey smelled him before she saw him.

A strong breeze carried his scent across the sand —cinnamon and that familiar musky aftershave. How he’d found her so quickly she had no idea. There was nearly a mile between her and the intersection where she’d abandoned him. But he was behind her now, close enough she could hear his footsteps in the sand, and so her time was up. 

Rey kept her eyes shut as he descended on her. Sometimes, in the dark, she could pretend she was ten again, sunburned and grinning and ready for a new adventure.

Ben grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and pulled her into his arms. She went without resistance. It was useless to struggle. He was strong and quick enough to thwart her attempts at escape, and she was done running, anyway. Instead, she let Ben tangle his fingers in her hair, kiss her neck and cheeks, dip his hands beneath her shirt to press his palms to her warm skin. 

“Don’t you ever,” he growled into her hair, breathing hard, “ _ever_ do that again.” 

Beneath the sound of the waves was another, frantic noise—his heartbeat. It was drilling in his chest like a jackhammer, erratic and much too fast. She splayed her fingers over the spot and listened to the unsteady beat, wondering what it meant. Rage? Fear? Something else?

“You don’t run from me, Rey.” He kissed her hard on the mouth, eyes wild, and shoved her back to fumble with the zipper on his jeans. “You don’t leave me.” 

Ben reached for her hand, and she saw in her mind with near-perfect clarity that this could go one of two ways. 

The first: he would shove her hand down the front of his pants so she could jerk him off right there on the beach, and once he was good and ready he would then force her to her knees. It wouldn’t be uncomfortable, not here in the sand, but when he guided his cock past her lips and began to thrust, fingers knotted in her hair to keep her still, she would choke and beg for him to stop. But he would fuck her mouth, and her pussy too, because when it came to Rey and sexual fulfillment, he was never satisfied. She would protest, but in the end she would lie quietly beneath him and let his cum seep from the head of his cock and hope it made its way to her womb so she could at least get something out of this.

Then they would go home, and for the next five or ten hours, for the next two years or seven, this same scenario would repeat over and over again until they were so hopelessly entangled she would never consider defying him again. 

But this could go a different way.

Pulse pounding in her ears, Rey drew her hands out of Ben’s reach and took a step back. For the first time, he faltered, jeans unzipped and loose on his hips, arm extended, a look of confusion marring his handsome face. 

“I don’t want to do that,” she said, staring him directly in the eye. Her hands shook where they hid behind her back. 

“Do…?” He tilted his head, obviously not understanding. 

“You can’t... _force_ me to do these things just because you’re mad at me, Ben.”

“You _like_ sucking my cock,” he said softly, stepping forward, halving the distance between them in one stride. “And you look so pretty doing it.”

He was trying to goad her to anger—or worse. But Rey had a tight leash on her emotions now, a clear goal in mind, and she wouldn’t be swayed. She wasn't often riled up this badly, but when she was--well. There was a reason she always got her way. 

When he stepped forward again, she held up a restraining hand. “If you hit me or...anything else, I’m leaving.”

“I know where to find you,” he said instantly, unimpressed. She noted he didn't address the hitting. 

“I’m leaving,” she said firmly, infusing her voice with confidence. “I’ll go home to my mom and dad, and I’ll tell them to keep you away from me. They’ll do it.” Rey knew that now. After Poe’s revelation, the contempt on his face when he spat the words _you’re fucking your niece,_ she understood without a doubt that if she told him to keep Ben away, her dad would go to the ends of the earth to ensure it happened. Her mom, she was less sure of now, but she could at least count on Dad for this one thing.

Ben was still, his eyes locked on her face. Several hundred feet away, hordes of starstruck tourists crowded the mile-long boardwalk, eager to spend money. Distant carnival music filled the air. That all might as well be lightyears away. Rey was cold and hurting, but she wouldn’t let that derail her—she was too set on this path. 

When he didn’t speak, Rey continued, relentless now. “I love you, Ben, but I’m not going to just roll over anymore. If you love me at all, you’ll be honest. Tell me about my mother.”

Very carefully, Ben zipped up his jeans and tucked his hands into his pockets. She saw them twitching, like he was trying not to reach for her. The thought hurt her heart, and as the silence stretched, she nearly gave in. 

“What do you want to know?” he asked finally, eyes black like tar. Rey wasn’t sure if he was simply humoring her, but she was going to run with it. 

“You said she has a secret. What is it?” 

Ben’s mouth worked like he was debating. She didn’t like that. If he was hesitating, he was plotting what pieces of the truth to give her, like a trail of breadcrumbs leading to a destination he _wanted_ her to find. 

Her stomach cramped. _Why aren’t there ever Tums around when I need them?_ Unnerved, Rey started backing away, widening the distance between them. She was positive she could make it to the boardwalk before he caught her, but then she didn’t know what she’d do. Cry for help? Order an Uber? Her parents weren’t expecting her home, but surely she was still welcome. If she just showed up, Mom would accept her with open arms. 

Wouldn't she? 

“ _Wait_ ,” Ben said sharply. Reluctantly, Rey halted, heels sinking into the sand. 

She bit her bottom lip and waited.

“Your mother…” He faltered, then seemed to come to a decision. “Fine. Here's the truth. Long before you were born, your mother had a miscarriage, Rey.” 

_What?_ She gasped and wobbled in the sand, stricken. Ben surged forward, but she held up a hand and shook her head fiercely. “No, don’t, I’m fine. Just…” 

Ben watched her helplessly, jaw tense. 

“How?” she whispered finally. “How did— How old was she?” 

He swallowed audibly. “Kay was fifteen. The man who impregnated her was a teacher. He was thirty-five.”

 _Fifteen. Teacher. Miscarriage._ Rey’s mind spun, and for a second she was so dizzy she feared a collapse was imminent. She staggered, weak-kneed and Ben let out a strangled sound from deep in his throat. She didn’t see him move, but a second later he was by her side, lowering her carefully to the ground like she was made of glass. He tried to settle her between his legs, but she shied away, stammering protests. 

She ran grains of sand through her fingers, trying to come to terms with this new information. Her mom, pregnant at fifteen by a teacher. Holy shit. _Fifteen._ Rey imagined herself a year ago—all gangly limbs and wild, untamed hair—this time with a big, swollen belly. Was a body that young even _meant_ to carry a baby? 

“What happened?”

Ben sat beside her, keeping a couple feet between them. She was thankful for the distance, even as she sensed he was itching to touch her again. This wasn’t a surprise—she wanted to touch him too. Run her fingers through his hair, poke the corners of his mouth until they turned up into a smile, kiss his dimples and the little moles on his neck. Bask in his attention. 

She kept her hands in her lap and didn’t look at him.

“We weren’t sure,” he said slowly. “Sometimes there isn’t a reason. One day about four months into the pregnancy, your mom woke up early in the morning with severe stomach pains, and when she went to the bathroom…”

The baby was gone. 

Rey inhaled heavily, holding back more tears. Why hadn’t Mom ever mentioned this before? A miscarriage could destroy a person. Physically, yes, but mentally and emotionally too. Maybe that was why Mom had seemed so overprotective when Rey was young—she’d kept that fear in her, the fear that, at a moment’s notice, Rey might be ripped from her forever. 

“The miscarriage made it hard for your mom to conceive,” Ben continued, drumming his fingers on his knees. She saw him shift towards her out of the corner of her eye. “ _Hard_ might be understating things. Pregnancy was impossible.” 

“Was she…” Rey couldn’t remember the word for it, but Ben smiled gently and touched the back of her hand. She startled and instictively pulled back.

“Infertile? No, not by any medical standards, but it was a rough time. It was… Your mom was really torn up about it, and I don’t just mean physically.” 

Rey played with a loose strand of hair, swamped by guilt. All those times she’d begged for a brother or sister, every time she needled and scoffed at Mom’s apparent resistance to birthing more kids—it hadn’t been because she wanted an only child. She _couldn’t_ have more, and at every opportunity Rey had unknowingly thrown it in Mom’s face.

Shit. 

“So how did she have me? If it was so impossible?”

Ben’s face shuttered, and she sensed she’d lost him again. “You’ll have to ask your mother.” 

Rey wanted to get mad, but he had been surprisingly open so far. Maybe there was only so much of a story that could be told secondhand. 

“Can we go home?” he asked softly, brushing her knuckles with the tips of his fingers. She didn't pull away this time. “It’s getting cold. I don’t want you to get sick.”

She was shivering, which came as a surprise. The air had cooled considerably in the short time Rey had been on the beach. It couldn’t be much later than ten, but already the temperature had dipped to the low fifties. Her arms were covered with goosebumps.

“I have to ask you something else,” she said, crossing her arms and folding into herself. Bracing for impact. 

“Go ahead.”

She glanced up, and his eyes seared into her with an intensity she recognized. He only looked like this when he was seated inside her so deeply neither of them could move without affecting the other. Ben was really into maintaining eye contact when they were joined, which she found incredibly hot. He wore this focused expression whenever he rocked their bodies in unison, intent on driving her to such a state of mind-bending pleasure she couldn’t remember her own name. He usually didn't have to try very hard.

Despite herself, Rey raised a hand and cupped his cheek, thumb brushing his light stubble. He leaned forward eagerly, eyes darkening. 

“How did you find me?”

Ben didn’t look away, but he went still as stone. “I tracked you.”

She swallowed nervously. “How?”

“Your phone,” he breathed, swaying closer. The two of them were always impossibly drawn to each other like magnets. Rey knew she shouldn’t, but she leaned forward too, trailing a hand down his chest. He made a pleased sound deep in his throat. “I installed several apps on your phone with GPS tracking.”

“You-- Why would you do that?” Her phone, forgotten in her back pocket, was squashed into the sand, but she didn’t want to pull it out to confirm. Vaguely, she remembered a particularly colorful app she hadn’t recognized: FamiSafe.

Ben’s lips brushed her own, and she sighed shakily. It registered faintly that he was probably manipulating her right now, but Rey found she didn’t much care. As long as he kept looking at her like she put the stars in the sky.

“It scares me,” he said huskily, eyes dipping to her mouth. “Not knowing where you are, if you’re safe. I wanted a way to keep track of you when you're not with me. For my own peace of mind.” He attempted a smile. “It’s selfish, but I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

 _GPS tracking._ Like a microchipped dog. 

Rey surged to her feet. She was breathing hard, pulse frantic in the base of her throat. The world went topsy-turvy, and for one indescribable moment, the ocean switched places with the sky and became one endless stretch of mixed blues. 

_Am I going to faint?_ she wondered. 

_No!_ Rey shook her head fiercely and bent over to stick it between her legs. She couldn’t faint. If she did, Ben would pick her up and drive her to his house. He would tuck her into bed and make her forget all the things he’d done behind her back. 

A warm hand pressed on her lower back, but Rey swatted it aside and shot upright. Her vision was normal again—the ocean and sky were where they were supposed to be, at least—and Ben was looming much too close. When there wasn’t space between them, his smell overwhelmed her senses. It was like that musky, cinnamon scent had been perfectly designed to appeal to her. 

“That’s not okay,” she stammered, gaping up at him. “Ben, why would you think-- I don't even know what to say.” 

His face fell, and his hands fisted at his sides. He looked ready to commit murder. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I know it was wrong of me, but I—“ He laughed humorlessly. “I can’t fucking _think_ straight when I’m around you, Rey. You drive me crazy, you know that? No matter what I do, you’re always right there in the center of my head. It’s fucking—you _live_ there now.”

He stepped closer, but she held up both hands now, warding him off. He no longer seemed to care, though, because he continued to advance. 

“Stop, Ben,” she said shakily, stumbling backwards across the sand. She was quickly losing ground. “I don’t—I don’t like that you—tracked my phone—and—"

Too late. He caught her by the hips and promptly sank to his knees, his hands squeezing so tightly she wheezed and nearly crumpled to the sand. She stared at him blankly and, despite her better judgement, didn’t immediately try to get away again. Ben hugged her close, face pressed to her stomach, for a long time. His arms were solid weights around her hips, warm and heavy, and she felt each steady inhale and exhale as they flooded his chest. 

She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t understand what this was. 

“Ben?”

“I’m sorry,” he said huskily. “I’m so sorry. I’ll delete the apps off your phone. I’ll do it right now, just—” He stared up at her, and to her shock, his eyes were wet. Was he... _crying?_ What was going _on_? “I’m so fucking sorry, Rey. I worry about you so much, I’m terrified of something happening to you, and if you ever left me I’d—” He broke off to drag in another breath. “God. God, I’m just sorry. I love you so much I can’t fucking take it.”

Rey brought her hands to her cheeks and pressed hard. She didn’t know what to do or say, or maybe she wasn’t supposed to react? He _sounded_ sorry, but she wasn’t ready to forgive him for monitoring her phone. That was some creepy stalker shit. GPS tracking? What, so if she tried to get away he could find her super quick? Just like what had happened today, she realized. No wonder Ben hadn’t rushed after her on the street; he’d known all along right where to find her.

Her stomach slowly rolled over. In that case, there truly was no escape from him. 

“Ben—”

But he wasn’t listening. He buried his face in her belly, fisting the material of her shirt in his huge hands. “Fuck, I’m bad at this. I’m so— You see that, don’t you?” He sniffed, jaw working. “I’ve always been so fucking jealous of Kaydel. With her big house and fancy husband and beautiful kid…” He trailed off, apparently overwhelmed. “She had everything. All I wanted was a family of my own, and I—”

He looked up at her suddenly, eyes blazing. She'd never seen him so unhinged. “My sister had _you_. All this time, she had you, and she didn’t deserve you, Rey. She still doesn’t. I can give you a better life, if you’ll let me. You’re my family. I mean, you’ve always been my family, but now…” 

“Please stand up,” she said quietly, tugging on his wrists. He was scaring her. “Please, Ben.”

He licked his lips and rose, drawing her tight to his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed her eyes shut. Sure, she was furious with him, but that didn’t mean she’d stopped loving him. Not for a moment. Not ever, and especially not now that he was obviously hurting. 

Ben cupped the back of her head in one huge palm and kissed her temple. “I’m sorry. I’ll apologize all damn night. I shouldn’t have downloaded those apps. That was crossing a line.”

“You could’ve just asked me,” she muttered.

“I know.” He sighed. “I know, baby, and I’m sorry, I’m—”

She sniffed and gently bopped her forehead against his chest. “I get it, okay? Stop saying that.”

He scooped her up into his arms like he usually did, like she was a little kid, and for once she felt like one. Her legs went around his waist, her arms folded behind his neck, and she breathed him in. Adults shouldn’t apologize to kids. That just wasn’t right. Mom always said to respect your elders, but how could she do that if said elder was literally on his knees, begging for forgiveness? Their roles were confused. She just wanted him to take care of her like normal.

“Can we go home now? I’m tired.” She was hungry too. It had been hours and hours since she’d last eaten, and because of Mom and Dad’s meltdowns, she’d completely missed dinner. For once, the thought of food didn’t repel her. 

“Are you still mad at me?” His lips brushed her earlobe, and she shivered. 

“A little,” she admitted. There was a lot to consider now. But she could do that in the warmth and comfort of Ben’s house. 

“I’ll make it up to you,” he whispered, and kissed her shoulder twice. “I promise.” 

She nodded, but her mind was elsewhere.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_“Fuck.”_

The mattress shifted, but neither of them paid any attention to the disheveled state of the bed. Ben bounced her lightly in his lap, lips coasting down her throat and across her collarbones. His palms smoothed over her backside, caressing, admiring, and Rey sighed, nestling her chin in the crook of his neck. This was exactly where she wanted to be.

His cock pressed against her clit, which was swollen and sensitive after two rounds of intense lovemaking, and a pleasant warmth was once more building in her lower stomach. Soon she would cum again, and so would he. The sheets were drenched with it, her thighs sticky and slick. 

Makeup sex was proving to be the best kind of sex. Not that she had much to compare it to, but it was definitely a lot hotter than their normal sex, which was still pretty hot. After parking in the driveway, Ben had tossed her into bed, declaring it too late for dinner, even as her stomach rumbled and her nerves pinched. She’d frowned, but Ben had assured her that he could make her forget all about her appetite. 

Ben had peeled her clothes off one by one, kissing every inch of skin as it was revealed, and she had willingly succumbed to his touch and attention, sighing and moaning when his tongue slipped between her legs, arching off the mattress when his fingers curled inside her pussy, bucking and keening beneath him as his cock pummeled every sensible thought from her head. He was so eager to please her that she'd come four times in a row, fast and messy, and screaming so shrilly it was a wonder the neighbors hadn't complained.

The anger faded, the indignation mostly smothered, and at one point she’d forgotten where she was, even as Ben had chanted her name and licked up the gentle curve of her throat, pumping her full of so much cum it dribbled down her thighs in creamy rivulets. Before it could pool on the sheets, he scooped up a line and shoved his fingers back inside her cunt to paint her walls with his seed. He then jammed those same fingers in her mouth to stifle her panting moans, and two minutes later he was hard again.

"Fuck this pussy," he mumbled incoherently, bracing a hand on the headboard. "Hungry for Daddy's cum, aren't you? Aren't you, baby?"

They had forgone condoms after the first round when Ben complained it was irritating his skin and ripped it off mid-thrust.

All was right within their small bubble—until, without warning, he slapped her ass with the flat of his palm.

The sharp crack broke through Rey’s dazed reverie. 

She jerked forward and let out a harsh gasp at the unexpected sting. _Holy shit, that hurt._ Instinct told her to snap at him, but she suppressed the urge. Instead of complaining—they’d gotten into a nice rhythm—Rey decided to ignore the slap and concentrated on riding him. This was a new position for her—usually Ben liked her beneath him, pinned and spread open for him, unable to look anywhere but directly into his eyes as he railed her into the mattress. 

But he was desperate to appease her, so when they rolled over in bed, kissing each other messily, and she straddled his waist, he hadn’t immediately corrected their position. With some minor adjustments, Rey had impaled herself on his cock and moaned at the press of his length on her clit. When she started to bounce, Ben had urged her on with obvious enthusiasm. 

Getting really into it now, he slapped her ass several times in a row, increasing the strength behind each swing. She finally screamed, unable to hold the hurt behind her teeth. The pain scorched lines of heat up her spine, radiating out from her stinging backside. She rolled her hips furiously, hoping to drive him past the point of thought. 

Ben, mistaking her movements for enthusiasm, dragged her down on his chest and puffed heavily into her neck. “You like that? Does riding Daddy’s cock make you happy?” He slapped her again. 

“Stop doing that,” she said through gritted teeth. “ _Please._ ”

“No, baby. That’s for calling me an asshole,” he panted, kneading her ass. 

“Well, it _hurts_ ,” she wailed, squirming in his grasp. She shoved against him, forgetting she was still impaled on his cock. Irritation uncoiled in her chest, and she whined, “Don’t you love me?” 

Ben was instantly apologetic. “Oh, you know I love you more than anything. Did Daddy hurt you?” His hands coasted over her sweat-slicked skin, even as he thrust up sharply, grinding his balls on her ass. “I’m sorry, sweetness. I’ll be gentle from now on, I promise.”

“Okay,” she murmured, immediately contrite, sucking on his lips and sweeping his tongue with her own. He moaned into her mouth, and she captured the sound, swallowing it like she could store it for later. 

_Daddy._ Unease prickled along her skin. She always did her best to ignore that word. Honestly, she wasn’t sure Ben was even aware he used the name. Lately he’d been referring to himself as her _daddy_ nonstop, and she didn’t know how to tell him to quit it. Apparently, some people found it incredibly hot, but Rey thought it was just uncomfortable. She didn’t want Poe anywhere inside her head when she and Ben were making love. 

Minutes later she let loose an ear-piercing scream as she came on his cock, neck and spine arching so far back she would’ve been at risk of falling over if Ben’s hands hadn’t cemented her hips in place. His cum spurted in several thick, creamy ropes, spilling into and out of her cunt like water over the walls of a dam. By this point she’d been stuffed full with his seed, but Ben was determined to drive it home every time. 

They collapsed—Ben on the tangled sheets, Rey on his sweat-soaked chest, both of them panting heavily. She was sated by their lovemaking, if not altogether happy about the night. The memory of his deception teased at the corners of her mind, never far from her thoughts. Part of her enjoyed being on top, if only so she could look down at him from above and watch him fall apart. To know, even briefly, that she was in control. 

With a few gentle kisses and murmured reminders of how much he loved her, Ben slipped into a deep, exhausted sleep. His lips were ever so slightly parted, and she was more than tempted to trace them with her tongue, but instead she nuzzled his chest and counted his heartbeats. She couldn't fall asleep yet.

Five minutes turned into ten turned into twenty, and only when the digital clock by the bedside clicked past midnight did Rey find the courage to rise. 

She slid off his chest with ease, but before she could rise from the bed, his arm tightened around her waist, fingers dimpling her skin. An automatic response, she suspected. _Wait it out,_ she told herself, pulse fluttering. _He'll let go._ Sure enough, his hold loosened a minute later, and she was free. 

Quietly, Rey made a beeline for the bathroom, walking on the tips of her toes and avoiding any areas of the floor that might give her away. The bathroom door swung closed with a soft click, and she stuffed a towel near the bottom of the door before flicking on the light. The florescents briefly blinded her, and she stumbled into the counter, mouthing a pained, "Ow!" Still blinking, she opened the medicine cabinet and fished out a box of condoms. 

There was only one, fortunately. For all of Ben’s griping about using them, there were suspiciously few in the house. Rey would know—she’d searched upstairs and downstairs the day before and concluded that this twenty-pack was the only box. This made her job significantly easier—and less time-consuming, which was more important. The longer she had to be out of bed, the bigger chance Ben would wake and find her missing. 

She grabbed the box and one other item from the medicine cabinet before ducking into the tub. Pulling the shower curtain closed—an unnecessary precaution, maybe, but it made her feel better—and sank down in the corner with a deep, steadying breath. 

She was really doing this. 

Ben was sorry. She understood that. He’d proven to her again and again...and again...over the course of the night that he regretted his actions. Whether he was only sorry she’d discovered his secret apps was irrelevant. She believed him—really. 

But sometimes extra measures were called for, especially when someone was sending out mixed signals. One moment Ben was saying one thing, then the next he was doing the opposite. 

Like: “We need to wear a condom.” 

Okay, fine. She wasn’t happy about it, but fine. There were ways around that, as evidenced by the night’s numerous rounds of raw fucking. 

But then: “Now I’m going to fuck you three times in a row without one.”

Not fine. Also, super hypocritical. If he was so concerned about knocking her up, why wasn’t he more insistent? It was almost like he was trying to convince them _both_ that a condom was necessary, but secretly he didn’t want to wear one either.

That was wishful thinking on her part. Ben had mentioned repeatedly how he much preferred for her to graduate high school first before getting pregnant. 

Yet the same conversation would loop each and every time they had sex or talked about babies. Rey wasn’t sure why it had taken her so long to catch on to the fact that Ben didn’t really know what he wanted, either. Maybe he wanted a baby, maybe he didn’t. Maybe he really wanted to wear condoms and just forgot in the heat of the moment, maybe he didn’t. 

Rey had determined that it didn’t matter. She was finally doing something about it. Ben wouldn’t have to make any decisions, although he wouldn’t know it. This would benefit them both. Really, she was doing him a favor.

She carefully pried apart the flaps of the box and extracted the first foil packet. Willing her hands steady, she slid the thin point of the sewing needle through the foil and into the condom. Some minor maneuvering, a slight resistance, and then—the latex gave way. With a smile, Rey removed the needle and peered at the condom. Couldn’t tell from any angle that it had been messed with. She then poked the needle through the condom two more times, just to be sure. 

That should do it. 

_That’s for hitting me with an umbrella,_ Rey thought coldly, inserting the needle again and again. _This one’s for putting your dick in me while I was on the phone with Dad. And this is for lying to me because you think you know best._

Almost a full thirty minutes was up by the time she poked holes in each of the sixteen foil packets. She arranged them carefully in the box and folded the flaps to their original position. 

Back in the bedroom, Rey slid the sewing needle inside the tongue of her shoe and crawled back into bed, drawing the covers over her body and snuggling against Ben’s side. He mumbled and shifted, cupping her hip and pressing his erection to her inner thigh like his cock was metal and her pussy the magnet. Two nights ago she'd woken in the middle of the night to find him very surreptituously trying to stuff himself inside her, as if she wouldn't notice, even unconscious, that there was something very large and very hot between her legs.

“Love you, baby,” he murmured sleepily, brushing her temple with his lips. “So much.”

Rey smiled and kissed his bare chest. “I love you too, Ben.”

“Give you the whole world,” he sighed, gently palming her ass. “Give you everything.” 

She slid a hand over her flat stomach, ignoring the hungry rumbles, and gazed down at her naked body. “I know.”

When he rolled on top of her minutes later, needy lips on her throat and swollen cock dribbling yet more precum across the sheets, Rey spread her legs wide.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**  
Four Years Ago   
**

“Rey!”

She fumbled with her swimsuit bottoms, practically falling out of the walk-in closet, and called, “Be right there!”

Tomorrow was Rey’s twelfth birthday, and for some reason her parents had decided to spend the night at a fancy hotel downtown. Maybe they were picking out extra special gifts. She’d been known to snoop on the eve of important holidays, so her parents had probably decided it was better to be safe than sorry. 

Right. 

“We’ll be home tomorrow afternoon!” Mom had informed her before leaving. She’d twisted her silk Hermes scarf around her neck nervously. “Just in time for cake, okay? Be good for Uncle Ben.”

When she walked out the door, rolling her sleek black suitcase behind her, Rey had lifted a hand in a wave, but Mom didn’t glance back. Dad was on the phone, as usual, and he hardly paused to shoot her a wink before sliding behind the wheel of his Mercedes. 

“Bye,” Rey had whispered, watching them drive away. A familiar ache started in her chest. They were gone a lot lately. 

Then she turned and smiled brightly, forcing the hurt to a place deep inside. “They’re gone!” 

Leaning in the doorway to the kitchen, Uncle Ben grinned back, arms folded across his chest. “Well, what are you waiting for? Go change!”

Giggling, Rey had raced upstairs and into her bedroom. That was where she was now. Flinging aside shorts and undershirts, she'd eventually come across a bathing suit that wouldn’t completely embarrass her in front of Uncle Ben. Normally she just wore her plaid one-piece or saggy green tankini when swimming with her friends or parents, but Uncle Ben was different. He owned so many cool clothes and gadgets that her parents refused to buy for her, no matter how much she whined and begged. She wanted to impress him with her own cool outfits—maybe one day she’d have cool gadgets too. 

The bathing suit was old but had never been worn. In fact, the tags were still in place. Rey had bought it on a shopping trip with Rose and Mrs. Tico last year and hidden it in the back of her drawer before Mom could see it and start screeching. It was a bikini—white and dark blue stripes. The bottoms were high-waisted though, and she didn’t have any boobs, so the cups covered everything they were supposed to! No big deal. But still, she didn’t want her mom to know she’d spent money on it. They always argued now instead of talked. Yelled instead of laughed. 

Before Uncle Ben could call up the stairs again, Rey finished tying all the strings and snatched a towel from her closet. It had a picture of Harry Potter and his two friends on it—she was reading the fifth book and liked Hermione the most. _The brightest witch of her age._ She loved that quote. 

Hugging the towel to her chest, Rey raced down the stairs and through the kitchen, ignoring her uncle’s surprised exclamation, and bolted into the backyard, giggling to herself. Mom would never have to know she owned this sort of bathing suit. A _revealing_ one like the kind Rose's older sister Paige wore to the beach. 

“I want apple juice!” she called over her shoulder. Her uncle was supposed to bring food and drinks outside so Rey didn’t get dehydrated. Sometimes she forgot to eat, like Mom did. 

In many ways, Uncle Ben was far better company than her parents. He was really funny, and he always seemed interested in what she had to say. Sometimes he even rolled his eyes when her mom was speaking, which always made her laugh. He snuck her candies and brought her little gifts all the time, and he didn’t mind cuddling on the couch when they watched cartoons. 

It was nice to have him babysit again instead of that snooty old Ms. Breha. 

Rey tossed her towel on a chair and scampered over to the diving board. Dad had hired people to install it just a week earlier, and she’d yet to try it out for herself. Hesitantly, she climbed the small ladder and stood at the end. She was far away from the water, but as she inched forward, she wondered if maybe that was for the best. She was _really_ high up. 

Rey tucked her arms over her chest and peered down at the water with a frown. The pool was only supposed to be eight feet deep, but from this height it seemed much deeper. Like _forty_ feet. Maybe she should try another day. She fell back a step. There was no rush, right? 

But...oh no. Uncle Ben was watching. 

She hadn’t noticed him come out on the patio. There was a tray of drinks and finger foods on the outside table—apple juice included—and he stood by the pool’s edge, arms crossed over his bare chest. She smiled weakly, embarrassed to be caught like this. Afraid. Uncertain. 

“You gonna jump?”

“Uh-huh,” she said, injecting confidence into her voice. She was, too. But maybe in a minute when she got the courage. Not yet. 

Rey approached the edge of the diving board and nervously wrung her hands. The water was _miles_ below her. The distance made her kind of dizzy. 

“Need help?” Uncle Ben walked to the edge of the pool and rose on the balls of his feet. “I was a lifeguard in high school, you know.”

Rey frowned. “I don’t need _saving_ , Uncle Ben.” 

“Sure you do.” He raised both eyebrows and gestured. “I know your type. As soon as you jump, I’ll have to tow you back in.”

“No, you won’t!” Offended, she poked her tongue out and scowled. This wasn’t a Disney movie. She wasn’t a boring old princess who didn’t know how to move her arms and legs. 

He shrugged, pale shoulders glinting in the mid-afternoon sunlight. He really needed to apply some sunscreen. “Based on your expression, sweetness, it’ll be a wonder you jump at all.” 

“Hey!” Rey planted her hands on her hips, annoyed. “That’s not fair! This is my first time.”

Uncle Ben pretended to check a watch, even though he wasn’t wearing one. “I might be thirty by the time you make a decision.”

She rolled her eyes and swayed forward, tempted to just get it over with. “You’re already thirty.”

He smiled. “Not quite.”

“Oh, whatever,” she sniffed, eyeing the pool water. It was certainly hot up here on the diving board. A trickle of sweat ran down her spine. “You’re old, okay?” 

Now Uncle Ben put his hands on his hips to mirror her stance. “Excuse me? You calling me a grandpa now? Grandpa Ben?” 

Rey pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. “So what if I am?” 

He huffed dramatically and rolled his eyes skyward. “Well, that’s it. I won’t save you now. All those years of lifeguard training, gone to waste.” 

Worries forgotten, Rey giggled and tilted forward. With an short scream, she surged into the water, shooting nearly to the bottom of the pool. It was quiet down here, save for the distant humming of the filter. When she opened her eyes, all she saw were blurry blue shadows. 

A few seconds later there was another splash. Rey kicked her feet, expelling tiny air bubbles, and broke the surface. She gasped in fresh air and blinked water out of her eyes. There was a circle of bubbles to mark where Uncle Ben must’ve jumped in. She looked around and then shrieked when hands clamped down on her calves and dragged her under. 

Grinning, Rey twisted out of his grip and kicked. Her foot glanced off a knee, and she frantically swam backwards until she ran out of oxygen. When she burst above the surface a second time, Uncle Ben was already there, reaching for her. She squealed and batted his hands away, but the side of the pool was directly behind her—there was nowhere to go. 

With a playful growl, Uncle Ben grabbed her around the waist and pulled her against him. They wrestled for a minute or two, drifting into the shallow end where they could both stand. The second Rey gained her feet, she broke for the stairs, but Uncle Ben was way ahead of her—he lifted her straight into the air and with little effort tossed her back into the deep end. She hit the water with a loud smack. 

Rey was underwater for no more than three seconds before she felt hands beneath her arms. Suddenly she was yanked back up and into fresh air. With a spluttering laugh, she splashed water at her uncle’s face. 

“Oh, _thanks_ for that!” 

“Are you okay?” He cradled her against his chest, worried eyes searching her face. 

“Uh, yeah?” Rey frowned, confused by his expression. “What’s wrong?”

His smile was small—still edged with panic. “You hit the water pretty hard there, kid. I thought maybe you were hurt.” 

She rolled her eyes. He was _fussing_. “I’m not made of glass, you know. Now you’re acting like Mom.”

A shadow flickered across his face. “We both just want to make sure you’re safe, Rey. That’s all.”

“Uh-huh.” She fidgeted, eager to jump again, but instead of releasing her, Uncle Ben floated to a corner of the shallow end and crouched down, adjusting her in his lap so her legs hung to either side of his hips. His hands clamped down on her thighs until she stopped struggling. 

She poked his bare chest. “What?”

“ _What_ what?” He tilted his head and tweaked her nose. She scrunched it and shook her head quickly. 

“Don’t be weird! What do you want? I’m trying to swim here!” She pushed against his chest. She didn’t remember him obsessing like this when she was young, before Mom and Dad told him to leave and they hired a new babysitter named Ms. Breha.

Uncle Ben pouted. “I’m just having fun with my niece. Is that okay?” 

Rey groaned and poked him again. He’d always been very affectionate with her, so she wasn’t surprised when he caught her hands in both of his and intertwined their fingers. His palms were massive—easily twice the size of hers. Maybe even _three_ times. 

“Are you excited?” he asked out of the blue, squeezing their palms together. 

“For what?” she said, distracted. Her uncle was really big and could probably crush her if he wasn’t careful. Good thing she was sitting in _his_ lap and not the other way around. 

“Your birthday, silly girl.” 

“Oh, right.” She brightened. Birthdays meant _presents_. “What did you get me?”

He shook his head, raising an eyebrow. “Nope. You are not getting any info out of this guy.”

“Please,” she whined, pushing out her bottom lip. Lately she’d noticed this worked well on her dad. “Just a hint?”

Uncle Ben groaned, but he was still smiling like he found her amusing. “Don’t you want to be surprised?”

“I want to know _now_!” She scooted closer until they were chest to chest and planted a wet kiss on his chin. “Tell me! Please, please, pretty please!” 

He rolled his lips, smile faltering. “Hmm. How about this? You give me some more kisses, and I’ll think about it.” 

Rey didn’t hesitate. That was an easy bargain. She untangled their fingers and grabbed his shoulders. His skin was wet and hot and firm beneath her hands. She kissed his cheek. “Now?”

He shook his head wordlessly, still smiling that odd, amused smile. 

She rolled her eyes. Mom was right—men always had to be difficult. With deliberate slowness, so he could count each one, Rey peppered kisses all over his face, from his cheeks and forehead to the tip of his nose. She even kissed a small mole on the side of his neck.

He groaned and wrapped his arms around her back, burying his face in her wet hair. “You’re so sweet to me, Rey.”

She giggled and pulled away. “Can you tell me now? Or are you gonna make me guess?” 

It had to be a cell phone. She was almost twelve now, and all her friends had one. Maybe an iPhone 8-–the newest version. She could get a pretty orange case. Or maybe a Hermione one! 

“I’m not going to tell you, sweetness.” He was doing something with the strings of her bikini top—she could feel them getting looser. Probably retying—the jump off the diving board had shuffled the cups around. 

“No fair!” she cried, wiggling in his lap. His arms were too _tight_. “You promised!”

“Did not,” he mumbled, lips brushing her jaw. He pressed a kiss to her throat, then moved lower. She felt his tongue sliding around like he was licking her or something. “Why don’t you settle down for a minute, hm?” 

Rey shoved at his chest, growing annoyed. “I want to go swimming! If you don’t let me go, I’m gonna tell Mom and Dad you were mean to me.”

Uncle Ben went rigid. He pulled his mouth from the side of her neck and blinked. He seemed dazed, but Rey didn’t care. She just wanted to go swimming; he could kiss her later. That was what they normally did when they snuggled, anyway. 

“I’m—” He cleared his throat, the tips of his ears turning pink. “Right. Sorry, sweetness.”

When he let her loose, Rey squirmed off his lap and bounced to the stairs. She ran around the pool to the diving board and leaped off again. No hesitating this time! She resurfaced with a cough and noticed Uncle Ben hadn’t moved. He was watching her with eyes so dark they looked like black holes. 

“Aren’t you gonna swim, too?” She climbed up the ladder and adjusted her bathing suit top. Several knots had come undone, and now the cups threatened to slip off. Annoying. Like she’d thought, Uncle Ben had probably been trying to fix it before she had an embarassing accident. 

He leaned against the side of the pool and hung his arms off the ledge. Still with those spooky eyes. “Mm. I’ll just watch you for now.”

She shrugged and skipped to the diving board. Whatever. It wasn’t her problem if he wanted to miss out. Then again, ever since Mom and Dad had let him start babysitting again, he was over their house every other day, so it wasn’t like he didn’t have plenty of opportunity. 

Rey spent the next hour jumping in and out of the pool, swimming laps—half-heartedly at best—and slapping water beetles with a pool noodle. Uncle Ben left after a little while, but he didn’t go far. He sat on a lounge chair, phone in hand, and watched her practice diving. He would surge to his feet whenever she’d scream at a bug that got too close, which was kind of funny. He was keeping a really close eye on her. She enjoyed his attention though—her parents rarely paid her any mind when she went swimming, and they _definitely_ never joined her. 

But after a little while she grew bored. There was nobody to chase around in the pool, and she had accidentally swallowed a mouthful of water that was rattling around in her lungs. It made jumping in and out of the pool uncomfortable. 

Rubbing her eyes, she stumbled up the stairs and collapsed at the end of Uncle Ben’s chair. He threw a towel at her, and she caught it before it smacked her in the face. 

“Nice try,” she said, sticking out her tongue and wiping water from her mouth and nose. 

He rolled his eyes and patted the space next to him. There was enough room on these chairs to sit side-by-side, so Rey plopped down, bumping his hip with hers. Uncle Ben tucked the towel around her legs like a blanket and threw an arm along the back of the chair, fingers skimming her shoulder. 

They sat silently for a minute. Uncle Ben stared at the backyard, eyes roving over the pool and patio. Rey bit her bottom lip and watched him out of the corner of one eye. His face was set, expression hard and unreadable—definitely not like the Uncle Ben she was used to seeing. 

“Are you mad?” she blurted, eyes downcast.

He shook his head slowly. “No, sweetness. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About…” He faltered, fingers twitching against the side of her neck. “How much I love you, for one.” 

She huffed. Barf. “Yeah, I know _that_.”

“What, you don’t like me telling you?”

Rey smacked him with the back of her hand. He caught her fingers and held them against his chest. “You know I love you too,” she mumbled. “But that’s not what you’re thinking about.”

“Oh, yeah?” he said absently.

“Uh-huh. I can tell.”

He glanced down at her and seemed to come to a decision. “I miss you when I’m not here.”

“Okay.” She wiggled her fingers, and he playfully nipped at the tips.

“Do you remember what I told you?” He didn’t look at her as he asked.

“That I belong to you,” Rey said softly. She didn’t understand what this meant, but it made Uncle Ben happy to hear her say it, so she tried to do so as often as possible. 

“That’s right,” he said gruffly, caressing her wrist. “Your parents don’t want to admit it yet, but they’ll have to come around eventually. Kaydel knows, but your dad…” He smiled grimly. “Hopefully not. We’ll see.”

All of this was complete nonsense. Rey usually ignored her uncle when he spoke like this, but her hand was trapped against his chest, and besides, she liked curling up by his side. He was big and warm, and sometimes he played with her hair. 

“Why did you go away?”

He shrugged and kissed the tips of her fingers. “I’d rather watch you have fun than do it myself.”

But Rey frowned. “That’s not what I meant. Why did Mom and Dad send you away? Didn’t you used to babysit me all the time?”

Uncle Ben stiffened. “Ah. That.”

Rey straightened and blinked up at him, the towel sliding off her legs to the pavement. “What?”

He scratched the back of his neck and grimaced. “Well...your mom and dad didn’t like the way I was behaving. They said I was too attached to you.” Under his breath, he added, “Obsessed, apparently.” 

“What does _that_ mean?” Indignation bubbled in her stomach. So was it Mom and Dad’s fault that Uncle Ben had stayed away for so long? The last she remembered of him babysitting her was years and years ago when she was maybe five or six. Only in the past few months had Uncle Ben come back into her life. It had taken a lot of coaxing from her mom to convince Dad to leave the two of them alone, although he’d seemed fine about it today. 

Uncle Ben cupped the back of her neck and squeezed lightly. “It’s fine, sweetie. They were right. I got to thinking you were mine, I guess, and your parents didn’t like that. You—” He paused and licked his lips, squinting at the backyard. “You’re my whole world, Rey. Ever since I found— Ever since you were born. My life revolves around you, and your parents considered that unhealthy.” 

“Why is that unhealthy?” she demanded, still upset. Not sure what else to say, she threw his own words back at him. “I belong to you, don’t I?”

He grinned. “Yes, baby, yes, you do. But your parents don’t understand that yet. Give it a couple years.” 

Wanting to make him feel better, Rey pushed her face into his chest and hugged him tight. “You’ll be around that long, right? You won’t leave again?” 

“Never,” he promised, hugging her back. “I’ll never leave. In fact, you’ll probably get annoyed with me.” He laughed and tickled her sides. She shrieked and twisted out of his grip, nearly falling off the chair. “I’ll be like a little puppy, following my girl around all day.” 

Rey burst into giggles at the image of her big Uncle Ben prancing around on all fours, barking at her for treats and attention. He was being silly. 

He kissed the crown of her head as he rose to his feet. “Kaydel and Poe won’t keep me from you again, Rey. I promise you that.” 

She beamed up at him and, wanting payback, tickled his waist. He gasped, eyes going horror-movie wide, and scooped her up when she tried to run away. 

“No more pool!” she shouted, clinging to his neck. “I want apple juice!” 

He nuzzled her temple and promised her gallons of apple juice. “Rivers of it!” he proclaimed dramatically, settling them in a chair at the patio table. He adjusted her in his lap and patted her hip. “Oceans of apple juice for my darling girl!” 

She giggled and blushed, unwrapping a straw to poke it through the small carton. Her mom only bought the juice with extra special antioxidants and vitamins because Rey was undernourished or something. Whatever. It tasted good, which was all that mattered. 

“Your darling girl, huh?” Rey kicked her feet under the table, sipping at her juice. 

Uncle Ben’s hands smoothed across her stomach, and he tucked his chin in the crook of her neck. “My one and only.”

She turned to smile at him, a laugh on her lips, but he leaned forward and kissed her quickly on the mouth. He tasted like soda. She sucked in a breath, but Uncle Ben touched the tip of his tongue to the corner of her mouth, and she was stunned to silence. 

Oh. 

Family kissed all the time, but never on the mouth. Well, except for her mom sometimes when she got what Dad called _sloppy drunk_. But maybe Uncle Ben hadn’t meant to kiss her there. She’d turned so quickly; he’d probably been aiming for her cheek. 

Rey just smiled nervously and finished her apple juice. 

After a quick sandwich and two more cartons of apple juice—Uncle Ben had insisted on a third, even though her belly was really full—she went swimming again for another hour. Her uncle never strayed farther than the patio, and whenever he had to go inside for ice or to use the bathroom he made her get out of the pool and sit by the back door. It was kind of annoying, but at least he cared enough to do something. 

When storm clouds loomed on the horizon, and Uncle Ben’s weather app promised thunderstorms for the rest of the day and into the night, Rey staggered on prunny legs from the pool, then jumped onto his back in a calculated surprise attack and wrapped her legs around his waist. 

“Piggyback ride!” she demanded, and without another word, he raced through the house to her bedroom upstairs, much to her delight.

Uncle Ben tossed her over his shoulder to the bed. “Okay, how was that? On a scale of one to ten.”

Rey rolled to her stomach and pretended to consider. “Let’s just say I’ll write a... _favorable_ review on Yelp.”

He burst out laughing, hands on his hips, and Rey couldn’t help but join in. She’d overheard her mother saying that once to a friend on the phone. They’d gone to a winery upstate or something. Whatever boring adults did on their days off. 

“Get a shower, kid,” he said finally, rubbing his eyes. “You reek.”

“Excuse me?” She climbed to her knees and scowled. 

He eyed her with a raised eyebrow. “Like chlorine. Now hurry up. _Avatar_ comes on in thirty minutes.”

With a gasp—she’d forgotten today was a new episode—Rey fled to the bathroom and shed her clothes. She took the fastest shower ever—only six minutes!—and stumbled out of the tub, banging her knee on the sink. Hopping on one foot, she rubbed a towel through her hair and wrapped a larger one around her body before sailing back into the bedroom. 

At first she didn’t notice him in the corner of her room, but then he shifted, and the movement caused her to screech to a halt at the end of her bed. Her heart thumped unevenly before she recognized him. Uncle Ben was over by her dresser. 

“What are you doing?” 

He jerked and turned around, fingers flexing by his side. “Hey, baby, I didn’t hear you! That was quick.” He stepped away from the dresser and gestured to the towel. “Are you sure you cleaned everywhere?”

Now she could see that the top drawer was open. The one that held neat rows of her underwear. Was he messing with her clothes? 

“I’m sure,” she muttered, glaring. “I’m not a _baby_. I can get a shower on my own.” 

He hummed thoughtfully and eyed her up and down. “Can you let Uncle Ben take a peek? I want to make sure you’re not walking around all dirty. Your mom would be _so_ mad at me.”

Rey snorted. Mom would definitely lose her mind if she thought her daughter wasn’t cleaning herself properly. She’d already been forced to undergo three spa treatments and a ten-step skincare routine last month just because Mom had spotted a pimple on Rey’s chin. It turned out to be a bug bite. 

“Fine,” she sighed, allowing him to draw the towel away. Uncle Ben used to dress her in little overalls and change her diapers all the time when she was a baby, so being naked in front of him was no big deal. Besides, she’d been wearing a bikini not that long ago, which was basically the same thing. 

He tossed the towel into her hamper—almost overflowing because she hated to do laundry—and raked his fingers gently through her wild hair. “You didn’t brush, baby.”

“Yeah, so?” Her hair dried flat and lifeless anyway, so what did it matter how she styled it? 

“My wild girl,” he murmured, eyes skimming down her body. “Look at you. So thin and tan. Like a supermodel.”

A smile pushed at her lips. “You think so? Mom says I’m too short.”

He nodded and crouched in front of her, hands cupping her bare hips. “Is that what she says? I’m sure you’ll grow at least a few more inches, and then you’ll be as tall as your mom in no time.”

Pleased, Rey grasped his shoulders and kissed his cheek. “That’s what Dad said! That I have his tall genes.”

A funny look spread across Uncle Ben’s face. “Well, regardless, I’m sure you’ll be tall as a pole in no time. You’re already skinny like one.” He pinched her hips, and she squealed. “Pretty, too.”

“If I become a model one day, will you come with me to all those fancy parties?” Rey wasn’t into fashion or anything, but Mom was literally obsessed with clothes and New York Fashion Week. Oh, and Paris Fashion Week, although she didn’t get the difference. Location? Whatever. 

“Are you asking me to be your date?” Uncle Ben wiggled his eyebrows, which made her blush. 

“Not like that,” she laughed, looking away. She was too young for a boyfriend, even though her friend Rose was already smitten with another classmate, a loser named Hux. “You’re my favorite person, though.” 

He sighed and pressed his head to her belly. “Of course I’ll come with you, Rey. Gotta make sure all the boys keep their hands to themselves.” 

“Uh-huh,” she snorted. As if. Boys tended to run in the opposite direction when she was near. It had only started happening the last few months, probably because of puberty. Or something. 

Uncle Ben stared at her from his knees, expression unreadable. Those creepy black eyes were back. “Looks like you’re all clean, baby. You did such a good job.” 

“Thanks.” Rey nervously twirled a piece of hair around her finger. He was staring at her like… Well, she didn’t really know. Kind of like he wanted to eat her. “So can I…?”

“Here.” He reached behind him and drew a piece of cloth out of his back pocket. It was a pair of fresh underwear. “Put these on for me.” 

“Were you _stealing_?” she demanded, gaping at the pair of soft pink panties. Those were new! 

“No,” he said with a short laugh. “I was going to put them back before I left. Promise.” 

She scoffed but held still as he slipped her panties up one leg and then the other. He adjusted them on her hips, then kissed the little ribbon in the center. 

“Too skinny,” he muttered disapprovingly, fingering the waistline of her panties. “Oh baby, you need to eat more.”

“I know, I know,” she said tiredly. Mom was already on her case about that. 

But Uncle Ben was clearly unhappy. “If you get sick because you’re not eating enough, I’m going to be very upset with you, Rey.” 

“I eat enough!” she said indignantly. “Didn’t you see me eat that whole sandwich?”

“You did,” he agreed, rising to his feet and opening another drawer in her dresser. “But girls your age have very fast metabolisms.”

“I drank three cartons of apple juice too!” she exclaimed, ignoring him. “ _Three_ , Uncle Ben!” 

“Which is very good, as I said, but next time it better be four.” He kneeled in front of her again, holding a nightgown in his hands. Bunching it up near the neckline, he ordered, “Arms up!”

Rey groaned but obeyed, moving as directed so Uncle Ben could yank her PJs over her head. The gown wasn’t so much a dress as a t-shirt; she hadn’t worn this particular one in years because it was too thin and an ugly yellow. It barely covered her butt. 

“I need shorts,” she announced, pulling at the hem of the dress, but when she went to move around Uncle Ben, he snatched her by the waist and yanked her forward into his chest. “Hey!”

“This is perfect,” he said, adjusting the hem so it brushed her thighs. “You don’t need any shorts, okay? You look very cute.” 

She wanted to argue, but his hands slipped beneath her PJs and bunched the fabric up around her waist. Surprised, she didn’t stop him when he trailed his nose along her inner thigh and inhaled. He kissed her belly, then glanced up for her reaction. Unsure, Rey poked out her tongue, and he winked, apparently satisfied, and darted forward to lick her belly button.

The feel of his tongue on her skin sent a strange bolt between her legs, and she immediately shrieked and fought against his grip, but he simply laughed and hefted her over his shoulder, patting her bottom when she protested. “You taste so _yummy_. Like candy.”

“That was _gross_ ,” she whined, kicking her feet. Her breath caught as they descended the stairs, and she clung to the back of his black t-shirt, dizzy. 

Down in the living room, Uncle Ben tossed her on the sofa and sought out the remote. She pouted and crossed her arms, staring determinedly at the TV. When he sat down beside her, Rey shifted over an inch but otherwise didn’t acknowledge him. 

“Don’t be upset with me,” he sighed, raking a hand through his long black locks. 

“Why did you lick me?” Rey wasn’t sure if she liked that. Didn’t only animals lick people? It seemed kind of weird. 

But Uncle Ben was unconcerned. “I like how you taste.” 

She glared at him out of the corner of her eye, but he was intent on the TV screen. After a few minutes he clicked on the channel for cartoons. Not baby cartoons, either—ones meant for teens. _Avatar_! 

The opening theme song of the show was half over, and some of the tension left Rey. They’d made it in time. She wasn’t going to miss anything important. The instant her favorite character, waterbender Katara, appeared on screen, she forgot all of her anger and uncertainty. Her focus became all about the girl who was responsible for teaching the Avatar. 

Also, Zuko. She really loved Prince Zuko. 

Uncle Ben didn’t speak until the first commercial break. He’d learned the hard way not to interrupt her viewing time. But when Appa and Momo faded from the screen and an ad for Kraft macaroni and cheese replaced it, he slipped his arms around her and dragged her close. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, breath hot on her ear. Goosebumps rose on her skin. “I won’t lick you again, baby. Please don’t be upset.”

She pouted and eyed him warily. “Well, since you said _please_ …”

He grinned and nuzzled her temple, planting a hot kiss on her temple. “I hate when you’re mad at me. Feels like my heart's on fire.” 

“That’s not good,” she murmured, cuddling against his side. He yanked a fluffy throw blanket down from the back of the sofa and spread it over their laps. Rey pulled a corner up to her chin and snuggled under his arm. 

They didn’t speak again until the next commercial break. Uncle Ben shifted and peered down at her. 

“Next time, I’ll let _you_ lick _me_. That sound fair?”

She scrunched her nose. “I don’t think I’ll ever _want_ to, but sure, I guess.” 

He hummed and didn’t speak again. _Avatar_ flashed on screen, and Rey’s attention was once again completely absorbed by the show. Vaguely, she felt her uncle’s arm around her shoulders, fingers dipping below the collar of her shirt to stroke her skin. The touch was nice, and when she caught him staring at her, she smiled. His lips curved, but soon after his eyes shuttered like he was falling asleep.

With ten minutes left in the show, Rey stretched, arching her back, and noticed Uncle Ben’s hand moving under the blanket. Curious, she lifted the edge to peek, but his arm tightened around her shoulders, forcing her to look up. He kissed her temple again, then her cheek. When she leaned forward to do the same and accidentally kissed the corner of his mouth instead, his breathing sped up. He slumped down and pushed his head into the crook of her neck, panting like he'd just finished running a race. 

Thinking he was either falling asleep or maybe having a nightmare, she cupped his face in her hands and tapped his cheeks. “Uncle Ben? Are you okay?”

“Just a second, baby,” he said hoarsely, leaning heavily on her right side. She was pinned in place, pressed against the arm of the sofa, but she didn’t really mind his weight. Sometimes they both fell asleep when they cuddled, and she would wake up to him half on top of her—head on her belly, arm flung across her hips, leg draped over both of hers. It always made her giggle. He slept like a disgruntled toddler, all heavy limbs and wild hair.

Finally, as the last few minutes of _Avatar_ played on the TV screen, Uncle Ben grunted and jerked, his hand tenting the blanket twice before falling still. He inhaled, chest shuddering, and nosed at her throat, mouth seeking and kissing along her jugular. 

Okay, then. Rey’s attention was split between the TV and her uncle. She held his wrist and squeezed gently. “Are you okay?”

He grunted again and looked at her through bleary eyes. “Yeah, I’m—everything’s good.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Distracted, she watched as yet another silly plan of Sokka’s went predictably downhill. 

Slowly, Uncle Ben shifted upright so he was no longer leaning on Rey. He withdrew his hand from the blankets and set it carefully in her lap. 

“Baby?”

“Huh.”

He paused and licked his lips. “Here.”

She frowned and glanced briefly at his hand. “What?”

He shook his hand, eyes dark and heavy-lidded, and she hesitated at first but finally lifted it off her lap. Only then did she notice that there was a creamy substance covering his skin. It kind of reminded her of the expensive shampoo Mom bought from the salon down the street—thick and white and weirdly goopy. 

“What’s that?” she asked, raising the hand to eye-level.

His breath caught. “Can you taste it for me?.”

She scrunched her nose and grimaced. “Why? What if it’s gross?” She glanced at the coffee table. “And where did you get it?” 

“Rey.” Her uncle’s eyes were pitch black. “Taste it.”

A prickle of unease shivered down her spine. He was acting strange, but she figured he wouldn’t let any harm come to her, so she tentatively licked his index finger. Uncle Ben moaned, his back arching off the sofa like he was in pain. 

Rey swallowed and considered for a minute, eyes drawn back to the TV screen. Sokka and Katara were hugging. Everything was fine. “It’s...okay, I guess. What is it?”

He laughed breathlessly. “Can you help me get clean? Please, sweetie. I’d do it myself, but you and I both know you should eat more. It's very good for you, I promise.”

Her mouth twisted. This was certainly an odd way to get her to eat. Couldn’t she just use a plate? “I don’t know…”

“Please?” Uncle Ben leaned forward and kissed her on the mouth again, harder than the first time. She was surprised, but not grossed out. “It’ll make me really happy, Rey.”

Those were the magic words. She shrugged her agreement and turned back to the TV screen. The episode was wrapping up. She’d probably have to rewatch the last ten minutes to make sure she hadn’t missed anything. “Okay.”

He sighed when she started licking his hand. It was kind of like eating a big, unwieldy lollipop. She finished his index finger and started on the next one. The cream was mostly on his fingers with a little bit pooled in his palm, but it didn’t taste all that bad—salty and hot, mostly.

At one point Uncle Ben drew her into his lap and started kissing the side of her neck. She held him by the wrist and watched the credits roll while she licked his hand clean. 

“It’s not so bad,” she said, hoping he’d tell her what it was, but Uncle Ben simply kissed the top of her head and watched avidly as she finished. His other hand dipped beneath the blanket, and he gently stroked her upper thighs. When his fingers climbed higher, she whined and squirmed in his lap. He withdrew his hand a moment later, and somehow there was more of the sticky white stuff. 

Confused, Rey peered at the blanket. “Do you have food under there or something?”

He laughed—a short, sharp bark—and said, “No, baby. Not the kind you’re thinking of.”

She glanced sideways at him. “Why is that funny?” 

He shook his head, still smiling, and breathed in the scent of her hair. “You smell lovely.”

“It’s my mom’s horse shampoo.”

There was a moment of silence. “Horse...shampoo?”

“Yeah.” She sucked on his thumb before dropping his hand. He immediately placed his other one in her lap, palm-up like an offering. “It’s for horses, but humans can use it too. There’s an ingredient that makes your hair really shiny and nice.”

“Ah. Well, I’ll have to give them my heartfelt thanks for making you smell so good.” He kissed her cheek. “Do you like how it tastes?”

“Mm.” She picked up his other hand and stuck his thumb in her mouth. It was weirdly relaxing. Mom mentioned once that she had about ten different pacifiers when she was a baby. “Uh-huh.”

“How much?” His hips shifted beneath her, and his clean hand lifted the hem of her shirt to pet her belly. 

“I’d rate it a six.”

He laughed and nibbled on her earlobe. “On a scale of one to ten?”

“Yup.”

Uncle Ben swallowed loudly and murmured, “I love you, Rey. So much. I can’t tell you how much.”

She hummed her agreement and licked across his palm. He groaned deep in his chest, and the hand on her belly flexed then dipped so his fingers slid beneath the waistband of her panties. Just the tips though, which was okay. 

“Now, this has to be a secret between you and me, baby. Mom and Dad can’t know.”

“Why not?” she demanded, shifting nervously. On second thought, she liked it better when he was stroking her belly. 

“I think…” He exhaled harshly through his nose, his breath fanning the back of her neck. “I think your parents would be jealous if they ever found out. They love you, but not like I do.”

Finished, Rey settled his big hand in her lap and leaned against his chest. She kind of wished there was more. Uncle Ben seemed _really_ happy. “Okay.”

“If you tell them about our special times,” he said in a serious voice, “I won’t be able to babysit you again. Not for a long time. Maybe not ever.” 

“What?” she exclaimed, twisting in his lap. His fingers snaked out of her panties, and he adjusted her so they were face-to-face. 

He nodded slowly and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “I don’t want to scare you, Rey, but this is important. Your mom and dad will forbid me from seeing you. You don’t want that to happen, do you?”

She shook her head rapidly, panicking. They couldn’t take her Uncle Ben away. She’d just gotten him back! Arms winding around his neck, she whispered, “Please don’t go.”

“I don’t want to, but if you tell your parents, they’ll force me to leave. That can’t happen. Remember what I said?”

She nodded, tears pooling in her eyes. “I belong to you.”

“That’s right,” he said gently, eyes finally going soft and amber-brown like molasses. “That’s right, Rey. You belong to me, and I will never, ever let you go.”

Sniffling, Rey buried her face in his neck and cried for a few minutes. It made her heart hurt, the thought that someone could take her uncle away forever. He was more than just family; he was her best friend. 

“One day,” he said softly, fingers lightly stroking up and down her back beneath her t-shirt, “I’m going to give you the whole world, Rey. Everything. I’ll give you everything you deserve.” 

“Don't leave me,” she whispered, clutching him close. "I love you."

“I know,” he said, smoothing a hand over her hair. His lips touched the corners of her mouth, soft and probing. He tasted like cinnamon. “But I love you more.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**  
Present Day   
**

Ben was acting strange. 

It had been four days since their conversation on the beach. Four days since he admitted that her mother had suffered a miscarriage and that he’d been tracking her phone for weeks. Maybe even months. She hadn’t asked.

The answer would probably scare her, and she was tired of being afraid.

She sat now in a window-seat overlooking the backyard, thinking about breakfast. Ben had implemented specific times for their three daily meals: eight in the morning, noon, and five-thirty. He allowed himself three snacks a day—she was required five—and spent an hour in his home gym. Rey had tried to join him yesterday, but the second she stepped into the basement, he had dropped his weights and informed her there was absolutely no way she was going to exercise in his house.

“You’re too thin,” he growled, stalking toward her. “How many times do I have to tell you—you’re supposed to be _gaining_ weight, not losing it.”

Rey crossed her arms and jerked her chin at an elliptical. “Mom lets me work out whenever I want—”

Ben pressed her up against the wall and caged her between his arms, lowering his head so they were eye-level. “We’re not at Kaydel’s house, or did you forget? I thought you wanted to be independent, Rey. Already homesick?”

Her mouth twisted unhappily. She didn’t actually _want_ to work out; she just wanted to spend time with him. There were probably ten other things she could be doing. Her stomach was alive with hunger pains since she’d avoided lunch, which meant she probably needed to spend time in the kitchen, but he didn’t have to know any of that.

Predictably, Ben softened. “It’s not safe, Rey. Maybe once you've gained some weight—ten pounds or so—I’ll reconsider. For now, why don’t you head on upstairs?” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “I’ll be up soon.” 

Rey bit her bottom lip and nodded. But when he turned his back, she shot him a glare and strode over to the elliptical, determined to do what she wanted. He wasn’t the boss of her. He _thought_ he was, and it was true he was old enough to be her dad, but he _wasn’t_ , and she could make her own decisions. That was the whole reason she'd moved out of her parents' house, after all--to be in charge of her own life, for once. 

She only managed to turn on the elliptical and set her foot on a pedal before Ben was hauling her off the machine. He dragged her over to the yoga mats on the far side of the room, ignoring her kicking and screaming, and pushed her down on all fours. A big hand braced on her lower back, Ben yanked her shorts down and fucked her for twenty long minutes. Even when she begged him to stop, he simply adjusted his position, draping over her back to force her down on the mat, and resumed pummeling her cunt until she was sore and dripping. 

“I love you,” he whispered when it was over, panting into her shoulder. “Maybe from now on you’ll listen to Daddy when he tells you to do something.” Then he rose, jerked his basketball shorts back into place, and sauntered over to the weights like nothing happened. 

Twenty-four hours later and Rey was still sore, but she could walk a straight line, at least. Ben had apologized profusely for his aggression and made love to her over the course of the night. Hours and hours of pure bliss—gentle rocking and soft kisses and heated declarations. He’d licked between her legs until she came again and again, spine arching off the mattress until she couldn’t bend without breaking. He’d suckled her nipples and rubbed her clit until she was a sweaty, sobbing mess, his eyes going light when she pleased him and dark when she resisted. 

All night long he said things like, _You drive me crazy, baby. You make me lose my mind, Rey. I can’t think straight when I’m around you, sweetness._

It was clear he loved her very much. Not _too_ much—just enough. She smiled into her tea cup, listening to the shower run upstairs. From her perch in the window-seat, she could see the full expanse of his backyard. The grass was wet with dew, shades of pink and orange fading from the sky. 

Four days in his house had taught her that Ben had a lot of rules. She couldn’t leave the house without permission. This wasn’t a huge deal—she couldn’t drive, and she really didn’t have anywhere to go. For the time being she’d blocked Finn’s number because she couldn’t handle additional drama, and Rose had yet to respond to her last three texts. 

Apparently, Ben worked eight hours a day, but she would never have guessed that with the amount of time he spent railing her in their bed. Sometimes he remembered a condom, sometimes he didn’t. Regardless, he didn’t seem concerned about pregnancy, which was for the best. That meant there was little chance of him discovering she’d sabotaged the condoms. 

She wouldn’t allow herself to feel guilty about it. 

His mood swings were wild and unpredictable. The thing that worried her, the thing that poked at her conscience, was that he seemed totally fine when it came to work and bills and phone calls, but the second she appeared in his line of sight, he went fucking _feral._

A small, scared voice asked her if maybe he was a little too involved with her. Too obsessed. But banishing that voice was easy. She finally had all of someone’s attention, and that was all she’d ever wanted. 

The transition from her mom and dad’s house was an ongoing issue. She had only managed to fit half her wardrobe in several tote bags when they’d rushed over last week—her parents had been out of the house at the same time, which was super rare—so her clothing options were unfairly limited. 

This turned out not to be a big deal, however, since Ben insisted on selecting her outfits. Usually he chose a dress, but sometimes he went with shorts and a tank-top. Something revealing, but only around the house. He didn’t like her wearing bras, either, which was fine—they were itchy and annoying, and her breasts didn’t need that kind of support anyway. Besides, she always got a thrill whenever Ben’s eyes slid down her chest and zeroed in on her nipples. His pupils would expand until they were completely blown out, like a drug addict's. 

His mood swings made Rey nervous. She couldn’t help but feel like maybe it was her fault. She remembered asking him one day many, many years ago why her parents had stopped him from babysitting her. Ben had said he’d become too attached to her as a kid. But Mom had let him back into their lives, so obviously he’d gotten over that. Right? It was one thing to be obsessed with a baby, but quite another to be obsessed with a teenager. 

What had her parents called his fixation? “Unhealthy.” 

But Rey ignored the voice that insisted his behavior was strange. Ben loved her. He fed and clothed her. He took her to bed every night and made her scream with his touch. He was constantly telling her she was pretty and smart and funny, and they rarely had a full conversation without breaking down into laughter at least once. His house was gorgeous, and Ben was attentive and dedicated. No more Mom and Dad. Everything was falling into place.

She was sipping the dregs of her tea when Ben descended the stairs, dressed in jeans and a gray hoodie. He entered the kitchen and immediately smiled when he noticed her in the window-seat. She scooted over to make room for him, but he shook his head and gestured to the second floor. 

“Do you mind getting dressed, baby? I laid your outfit on the bed.”

“Are we going somewhere?” Excitement bloomed in her chest. She hadn’t been out of the house since that night at the beach. Ben was worried she might come down with a cold, but so far she felt totally normal. 

He nodded, eyes on the coffee pot in the kitchen. “A little adventure.”

She smiled and raced over to throw her arms around his neck. “Tell me?”

“It’s a surprise.” Ben kissed her cheek but didn’t hug her back. She sensed that something was off. Usually he couldn’t wait to put his hands all over her. This morning in bed, he’d been fine—enthusiastic and needy. As usual. 

“Okay,” she said softly, and with a lingering glance she made her way to the second floor. 

Ben had laid out a pair of denim shorts and a dark green t-shirt. The three rubber bands suggested he wanted her hair tied up in buns, and the Nikes at the foot of the bed made it clear they were doing something outdoors. Which was totally fine with Rey. She hated to sweat, but being cooped up in the house for so long had her itching for fresh air. Maybe she’d get a nice tan. 

Twenty minutes later, Rey was standing on the front porch, waiting for Ben to gather his wallet and keys. She noticed a neighbor wandering around the closest property and considered waving. But they might want to talk, and Ben wouldn’t like that, so she kept her hands by her sides. 

Still, her fingers twitched. Rose still hadn’t responded to the text she’d sent two days ago. The silence was defeaning. She wondered if Rose was angry with her. Or maybe Finn had said something? But what did he know? Nothing. Besides, _he_ was the one messing around with someone he shouldn't be. Nobody knew about her and Ben, except for Dad. 

Ben appeared beside her a second later and interlaced their fingers. “Ready?”

She nodded, and he kissed her forehead. It was perfunctory though; he seemed distracted. Her stomach rolled slowly as they got settled in his Porsche. Was he mad at her, too? 

Ben had just finished buckling her in—testing the strap to make sure it was secure, adjusting the seat so she was positioned to his liking—when he hissed through his teeth. “God _damnit_. Just a second, baby.”

He was out of the car like a shot, jogging back to the house before she could so much as open her mouth. She frowned—he was weirdly on edge today. Combined with his sudden mood swings and the row of big cardboard packing boxes lining the upstairs hallway, Rey wasn't sure _what_ to think. Maybe he was going through a mid-life crisis twenty years early. Stranger things had happened.

Rey’s attention slid back over to the neighbor, who—she realized with a start—was staring at the car. Or maybe at _her_? Creepy. No, she decided, it had to be the car. Maybe he was jealous. That was her first assumption—Ben’s house was definitely bigger than the surrounding ones, and his Porsche must be the envy of the neighborhood. 

But no, the neighbor _did_ seem to be staring directly at her, and something clenched in her stomach. She put a hand on her belly, feeling nauseous, but didn’t take her eyes from the neighbor. They stared at each other, unmoving. 

A man. She knew it was a man now because of his stance—wide-legged, broad-shouldered, and tall like a cowboy. Her throat tightened. Why did he look so familiar? She could barely make out any of his features, but for some reason—

She gasped out loud and was immediately grateful Ben wasn’t in the car. 

That man. The neighbor. She remembered now.

Five days ago, when Ben had lowered her to the ground and fucked her in the middle of his backyard in broad daylight, she saw a shadow beyond the fence surrounding Ben’s house. There and then gone, the shadow had paused directly between the slats and watched them for several minutes.

It was the neighbor. The man staring at her now. 

Rey immediately broke eye contact and cringed into her seat. Oh god. He’d seen her and Ben having sex. Did he know who she was? Had he told anyone? 

Movement out of the corner of her eye. Ben was striding across the lawn, slipping something into his back pocket. She clambered for the handle, sweaty hands struggling to find a grip, but then somehow the door was swinging open and she stumbled free, shoving aside her seat belt. 

Ben was at her side a second later. “Whoa, baby, where—“

She grabbed his forearm. “Ben, that man.”

His eyes darkened, smile slipping from his face. He turned towards the neighbor’s house. The man was still standing on his front porch, hands on his meaty hips. “What about him?”

The words jumbled together. “He—I saw him a few days ago when—” Panic climbed her throat and threatened to choke her. Helplessly, she gasped, “ _Ben—_ ”

“Hush, baby.” He slipped his arms around her waist and pressed their foreheads together. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can make it better.”

Rey swallowed loudly and whispered, “That man was watching us, Ben. When we were in the backyard. He—I saw him _looking_ at me.” 

His body went stiff around her, and for a long moment he didn’t move or speak a word. Rey’s heart thundered in her chest, but she did her best to smother the panic. Instead she inhaled the clean scent of Ben’s shirt and focused on the feel of him. Tough and strong and hot. A body she knew intimately. A body she loved far more than even her own. 

“That man,” he said slowly, voice low and hardly audible, “was watching us.”

She nodded and kept her eyes downcast. She was too afraid to peek at his expression. 

Ben didn’t ask if she was sure. He didn’t question or doubt her. Instead, he unwound his arms from her waist, and, with a gentle kiss to her temple, gestured to the Porsche. 

“Get back in the car, please.” When she risked a glance at his face, she saw that his expression was carefully blank. “I’ll handle this.”

She swallowed and slipped back into the passenger seat, eyes wide. Ben eased the door shut, and then she was alone. Her eyes tracked his progress across his lawn and the neighbor’s, who also watched him approach. They greeted each other, and Rey saw Ben ran a hand through his hair. 

Their body language revealed nothing. Her stomach rolled again, and her eyes drifted to the glove compartment. She should really stuff a bottle of Tums in there for the future. 

More talking. Ben pointed at his backyard. The neighbor shook his head, and then Ben stepped forward, closing the gap. The two men faced off, neither of them seeming particularly bothered one way or another, but then the neighbor’s face twisted into a scowl. 

Rey straightened in her seat, nervous and afraid for him, and then Ben casually shoved the man back. Ben's arm shot forward and slammed into the other man’s face. His neck snapped back, and the big man fell against the side of the house, blood spurting from his broken nose. He slumped to the porch and sat there, dazed and unmoving. 

She gasped and covered her mouth, casting wild glances up and down the street. What was Ben _doing_? If anybody saw, they were going to call the cops on him! Then Rey would have to go back to Mom and Dad. 

Ben crouched down in front of the neighbor, hands dangling between his thighs. He said something—Rey could tell his jaw was moving—and then rose. Without a backward glance, he recrossed the lawn and jogged to the driver’s side, face a mask of calm. 

Neither of them said a word as he buckled himself in, started the ignition, and casted a critical eye over Rey’s seat belt. 

“You won’t have to worry about him again,” Ben assured her, snaking his hand into her lap. Their fingers locked together, and he squeezed once. "I told him to keep his mouth shut. We'll be out of his hair soon, anyway."

Rey frowned at his phrasing, but then she did a double-take.

“Your hand,” she whispered, staring with horror at his bloody knuckles. The skin was torn and already beginning to bruise. 

Ben shrugged and pulled away from the curb, apparently unbothered. “No big deal. It’ll heal.”

But she wasn’t satisfied. Opening the glove compartment, she found a packet of Lysol wipes and set to gently wiping the blood from his hand. He tensed a few times but didn’t complain. 

They didn’t speak as Ben drove them to their destination. He fiddled with the radio and settled on an oldies station—‘80s rock and roll. Rey didn’t recognize any of the songs, so she easily tuned the noise out. She shot nervous looks at Ben’s face. His jaw was tightly clenched, his lips pulled into an unforgiving line. The longer they went without speaking, the more certain Rey became that wherever they were going was not a cause for excitement. 

She bit her lip and placed the wipes back into the glove compartment. It unnerved her to see Ben so clearly off-the-rails, but she didn’t know what to do. He wouldn't tell her anything. 

She brought his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles. 

His eyes flickered to her and back to the road. Rey rubbed circles on his hand until they slowed to a spot in a deserted parking lot. She looked around curiously. They were at a park. Not a local one, either—she didn’t recognize the landscape.

“Let’s go.” Gently extricating himself from her grasp, Ben unbuckled both their seat belts and exited the car. He immediately reached for her hand when they met around the hood, and for the next ten minutes she let him lead her down a nice graveled path in a dense part of the park. Lush trees shielded them from the harsh rays of the sun. Growing on either side of the path were orange and white wildflowers. _Pretty,_ she thought. 

Ben guided her to a bench facing a small pond several meters off the main path. It obviously wasn’t busy; they’d encountered no one on their short walk. Rey sat, hesitant but willing to follow along with whatever was going on. Maybe he was planning a surprise vacation. Just the two of them. Morocco or Aruba. Somewhere in Europe. 

But then, why would he bring her _here_?

"You don't remember this place, do you?"

She shook her head, startled out of her thoughts. 

Ben licked his bottom lip and nodded, like he'd expected this. "When you were a baby, when Kay and your dad would go on a trip overseas, I'd drive us here to spend the day. You always liked the flower gardens." A small smile flitted across his mouth. "I'd watch from a gazebo while you played in the dirt and picked all the petals off every flower."

She could imagine this exact scenario in her mind. Not because she remembered, but because he painted such a vivid picture. She could see in his eyes that this was a fond memory, and that they'd done it often. It made her happy to know there were things only the two of them had been a part of, even back when she was too young to remember. 

Ben sighed and craned his neck to look up at the sky. “Rey, there’s something you have to know.” 

She blinked up at him, suddenly nervous. He wasn’t pacing, but a muscle in his jaw ticked restlessly, and his chest rose and fell with deep, heavy breaths, like he was steeling himself to break bad news. 

“What is it?” she asked, wringing her hands. It was still early morning, barely ten o’clock, and there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky, but a feeling of such complete and utter doom fell over her that she wished more than anything for a sudden squall. Then maybe they wouldn’t be having this discussion. 

“It’s easier if you know," he continued listlessly. "I don’t want to hide things from you. Not anymore.” 

“Know what?” she demanded, voice rising. 

Ben planted his hands on his hips and stared down at her unhappily. “From now on, I think it might be best if you give your mom some space.”

Bewildered, Rey laughed. That wasn’t at _all_ what she’d expected. “What are you _talking_ about? What does my mom have to do with anything?” 

Ben hissed through his teeth, clearly frustrated. “Baby, I’m—” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m trying so hard to do the right thing here, but it’s just—“

“You’re making me nervous.” Her hands were shaking, and suddenly she wanted to be anywhere else. She shot to her feet and took a step away from the bench. “Can we go home? I don’t feel well.”

She didn’t wait for a response. Turning on her heel, she began walking back in the direction they’d come. Hopefully she wouldn’t get lost along the way; the path was relatively straightforward, but she was absolutely terrible with directions. In fact—

Ben hooked an arm around her waist and dragged her back to the bench. She fought, terrified by his evasiveness and by this remote location— _why_ had he brought her here?—but he forced her down on the bench and slipped something from his back pocket. Whatever he’d gone back for earlier, she remembered.

Cold metal clamped down on her wrist, and Ben moved away again, eyes spooky black. Rey tried to stand again but was jerked to the side and almost lost her balance. There was a cuff on her wrist, binding her to the bench.

A _handcuff._

Her mouth opened and closed. What. The. Fuck. “...What the _fuck_ , Ben.” 

He didn’t scold her for her language. Instead, he watched through eyes dark as coal while she struggled, twisting and pulling at the metal cuff. But no matter which way she turned, the metal didn’t loosen its hold. Why would it? Handcuffs were meant for restraint. For imprisonment. 

Her heart missed a beat. 

“Ben,” she rasped, staring up at him miserably, “what is this? What are you doing? I want to go home now. Please. I want—”

She started to cry. He was leaving her. That had to be it. Ben had finally concluded she was too much work. Or maybe she just wasn’t smart enough, wasn’t pretty or cool enough. She wasn’t _perfect_ , and now he was going to abandon her here on this bench in the middle of nowhere. 

Ben groaned, and through her tears she saw him brace his hands on his head. He looked like he was being tortured. 

“Please don’t cry, Rey. I just—I need you to listen to me.”

She cried harder, gasping and trembling at the thought of him falling out of love with her and in love with some strange woman. He didn’t need her anymore. He didn’t _want_ her. All this time he’d made sure she knew that _she_ belonged to _him_ , but what about the other way around? Did _he_ belong to _her_? 

Maybe this was her answer. 

“ _Goddamnit!_ ”

She cringed into the bench, choking on desperate sobs. His shout startled a handful of birds from a nearby tree, and they took to the air all at once in a wave of uniform color. Rey rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes and looked at Ben. 

Despite the tears, despite the fear and despair, her vision went faintly red at the edges, and she straightened on the bench. No. They wouldn't do this. She _refused._

“I want to go home.”

He shook his head wordlessly and closed his eyes. But she wasn’t going to be dismissed. 

“First you say I can’t talk to my dad, now you’re saying I need to stay away from my mom, too?” More tears slipped down her cheeks, but she didn’t wipe them away. “I just want my parents, Ben!”

His face was hard now, unforgiving. “You can’t see them. Listen to me—”

She screamed and twisted viciously in the cuff, yanking on her arm until skin peeled from her wrist. Ben was next to her an instant later, shushing and massaging the wound. “Don’t,” he warned softly. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

“I want to go _home_! I want my mom and dad!”

Something inside Ben snapped then. “You _are_ home!” he roared, grasping her upper arms. He crouched over her on the bench, eyes wild. “When you’re with me, you're _home_ , Rey. Don't you _get_ that?” 

No, no, no. She sobbed and twisted out of his grip, begging to be let go, beginning for him to take off the cuff, beginning for her mom or dad to come find her. Ben’s short nails dug into her upper arms, leaving crescent-shaped marks. More bruises. More pain. 

“You can’t go to them, you could _never_ go to them.” Ben’s expression twisted. “ _They’re dead!_ ” 

Rey went still. 

Breathing hard, Ben cupped her cheeks and said hoarsely, “You have _always_ been mine, Rey. I’m the one who found you. I loved you first and best. I love you,” he whispered brokenly.

But in her mind, the shouted words looped. _They’re dead! They’re dead! They’re dead!_

“My parents…” she whispered, choking on the words. 

Ben shook his head tiredly. “Kaydel and Poe are fine.”

Rey started to cry again. She was so confused. 

“I lied,” he said abruptly. His hands moved over her shoulders, caressing, smoothing over the crescent nail marks. Even now, even as they screamed at each other, he was trying to make her feel better. “I lied when I told you I was there when you were born.”

Surprised by this sudden shift, Rey blinked and stammered, “Y-you weren’t—?”

“I wasn’t there,” he said, staring into her eyes. His were brown again, no trace of the black holes—eyes so familiar to her she would know them anywhere. “I wasn’t there when you were born, Rey.”

“What?” she repeated weakly. 

Ben tenderly swiped tears from her cheeks. “Me, your dad…” His breath hitched. “Even your mom.” He smiled, but it was so full of pain that her heart threatened to give out at the sight of it.

“We weren’t there when you were born. None of us were.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **💦apologies to the Papa Ben enthusiasts**
> 
> **💦also you DO have permission to kick my ass for the cliffhanger**
> 
> **💦btw these chaps are often so spaced out because of their massive length—I’m basically writing 3-4 normal-sized chaps in 1 so updates reflect that**
> 
> say hi! (or come yell at me)  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/naboojakku)  
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/naboojakku/?hl=en)


	7. engulf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **hey ho all is finally revealed**
> 
> **TW: pseudo incest, mention of drug use, implied overdose**

** SIXTEEN YEARS AGO **  
** BEN’S POV **

271 Mountbatten Street. 

He double checks the scrap of paper, the hastily scrawled words on it blurred with sweat. The address is correct—he knows this, and yet double-checking has become compulsory. He’s been over it a hundred times in the last twenty-four hours. 

This is the place. She's here. 

Several weeks ago, Ben began working at a new tech start-up. The company's in a relatively poor part of the city, but the twenty-something CEO is convinced gentrification is in full effect, and in a few years the borough will be the city’s newest hot spot. Not that he cares about any of this, frankly. 

He’s still in high school, but Dad knows one of the senior administrators and managed to get him a part-time position. Fifteen hours a week, decent pay, and a crazy hot receptionist with tits the size of bowling balls. 

One day, Ben looked out the third-floor window. During lunch, when all the older staff dined out together and left him in peace. He normally ate in the extravagent break room, but he wanted a change of pace. Also, if he was lucky, a quick glimpse of Miss Bowling Balls on her way back from the sushi restaurant down the street. Her tits didn't just bounce—they fucking _ricocheted_. 

Eyes drifting aimlessly, he noticed a ragged-looking couple slowly making their way down the street, bogged down by mid-August humidity. Both of them dirty and brittle-looking, but especially the woman. Her hair greasy and unbrushed, eyes vacant, clothes too loose, except where the cotton of her shirt stretched tight around a grotesquely swollen belly. Ben knew exactly what kind of people they were, exactly what they were after, and he’d turned away in disgust. 

Fucking addicts. 

Weeks passed. Home life grew unbearable. He rarely saw Mom and Dad. Kaydel, her own stomach returned to its normal taut flatness, got worse. She refused to eat. Didn’t leave the house for weeks on end. Barely spoke to anyone, even him. Some days she smelled. Other days he heard her pacing her bedroom—then the halls—late at night, unable to sleep. In the mornings, he would catch her staring blankly at the third floor, eyes bloodshot, fingers occasionally twitching as if reaching for something. 

Or someone. 

Weeks passed, and he noticed in an offhand sort of way that the dirty woman’s belly flattened. She and her zombified partner began pushing a pink wobbly-wheeled stroller on their daily walks. They both looked more exhausted than usual. 

Hm. Ben took a bite of his sandwich and tracked them down the street until the turned the corner. 

Weeks passed, and they passed, and they passed. When things at home grew desperate, Ben tentatively mentioned his idea to Kaydel. She thought it over for three hours, locked away on the third floor, in the room once filled with pinks and whites and yellows, soft cotton blankets and dangling toys, now barren and lightless. 

And so he is here. 271 Mountbatten Street. 

Ben squints against the glare of the sun. The house is a rancher, shutters peeling, front door missing chunks, gutters overflowing, trash tangled in the crispy brown patches of grass dotting the lawn. There’s a faint odor like a dead rodent left out in the sun. A decomposing smell. 

She picks up on the first ring. 

“Did you do it?” his sister asks breathlessly. “Is it done?”

“I’m about to go in,” Ben says calmly. He checks the opposite side of the street. No signs of life. “Did you call Poe?” 

There’s a lengthy pause. He closes his eyes. 

“I called him,” she says finally. “He—” Another pause, this one punctuated by a soft sigh.

“He what?” Ben demands. Still calm. This will only work if he keeps his emotions in check. “What did you tell him, Kaydel?” 

If his sister screwed up this early on, the whole plan unravels. 

“How far along did you say you are?” he presses, impatient to get on with it. This part of the city isn’t safe after dark, not even for a teenage boy. 

“I told him the truth, Ben.”

His composure cracks. “You _what_?” he snarls, running a hand through his hair. “Jesus Christ, _tell_ me you’re kidding. I—you’re unbelievable. After all the fucking _whining_ —“

“Shut up and listen,” Kaydel says harshly, speaking over him. “I told Poe that I gave birth a month ago. I told him I’m sorry for keeping it a secret, but I didn’t know what to do. That’s the truth he knows.” She swallows audibly and continues in a softer voice. “Will that work? The age?” 

Slightly mollified, Ben says, “Okay, yeah. That‘s good.” By his observation, the baby can’t be much older than six weeks. He remembers seeing the stroller for the first time in mid-October, roughly a month ago. 

Poe Dameron is smart, sure, but he’s not very perceptive. Obviously—he fucked a teenager. He’s also, according to Kay--who's not the best source but, in this case, happens to be the _only_ one--in his early thirties and lives two states north. As far as Ben knows, the last time Poe and his sister saw each other was eleven months ago when he visited for a work conference. 

The timeline is tight, but it’ll do. 

“You sure about these people?” Kaydel whispers, suddenly nervous. Suddenly sounding like a scared, in-over-her-head seventeen-year-old. “I mean, they’re not—they’re not going to—"

“I’m sure,” he says firmly. “They walk the streets near my work every day waiting for their dealer. Trust me. Nobody’s going to think twice if they misplace their own kid. Hell, in a few weeks they probably won’t remember they ever had one.” Personally, he thinks it’s a wonder the woman carried the baby to term. “Everything’s going to work out, Kay. You’ll see.” 

Ben has a plan for that, too, but he doesn’t mention it to Kaydel. She’s already fragile enough. 

Kay gasps through the phone—half-sob, half-cry. “Okay. I— Okay,” she repeats mindlessly. “Go get her.”

Ben hangs up.

As he approaches the door, he casts a quick eye over the deserted street. The neighboring houses to either side have boarded up windows and graffiti in the driveway. The only other car on the street, aside from Ben’s spotless new Infiniti Q50, is a banged up Toyota Corolla missing its left front tire. Save for the tinkling of a chain link fence, it’s a silent wasteland. 

Ben pounds on the front door, his fists like hammers, obliterating the silence like sudden thunder.

He waits. But there’s no sound—nothing to indicate anyone’s home.

But he knows there is. He followed them here. 

Ben hits the door again and calls, “Anybody home?” 

No approaching footsteps or hurried answer. Again, no signs of life. Ben places his hand on the cracked doorknob and twists. Like magic, the door swings open, revealing a living room from hell. A smell like death itself wafts out, and he has to brace a hand on the doorframe to keep from swaying. Rot. Decay. 

_For Kaydel,_ he reminds himself. 

He immediately steps on a pacifier as he crosses the threshold, and as if in response, a baby’s wail pierces the fetid air. 

Immediately drawn towards the sound, as though by an invisible force, Ben surges through the house, his eyes locked on the back room. He doesn’t want to see the bugs on the floor or the spoiled food on the coffee table. He doesn’t want to see broken dishes on the moldy kitchen tile or insulation bursting through holes in the walls. 

When he rounds the corner, Ben stops in his tracks. The woman is sprawled on the floor, her back against a creaky air conditioning unit, drool leaking from the corner of her mouth. The man is sitting at a table with one chair, slumped over with his head in his arms. Not quite asleep, not quite awake. Somewhere in between. 

Ben pointedly does not look at the baggies of white powder. 

There, in the corner. He sees her for the first time.

The baby is red-faced, tear-streaked, and screaming like a siren cranked to the highest setting. She’s somehow gotten herself tangled in the straps of her car seat, which her parents seemed to think works just as well as a playpen. One plump arm is scratched and pink, the skin irrtated, and Ben’s heart misses several beats in a row. 

He’s across the room in three strides. 

“It’s okay, sweetness,” he coos, the endearment slipping naturally from his mouth. Crouching before the car seat, he gently disentangles the baby’s arm and maneuvers her out of her nest of soiled blankets. “Hush now. Everything’s okay.”

He settles the baby in the crook of his arm and holds her tight to his chest—a movement as natural as breathing. He can’t take his eyes off her, despite her scarlet cheeks and snotty nose and leaking diaper. Her hair is soft and brown, her eyes a startling mixture of green and blue. A few weeks from now, their true color will set in. He hopes they’re green.

“Hi, baby,” he says, smiling goofily. She pauses mid-cry to stare. “How are you today, baby?”

She blinks those luminous eyes and doesn’t respond. No crying or laughing or even a small, reactive smile. She just watches him. 

From the floor, a muffled groan. Ben doesn’t take his eyes off the baby, but he does step toward her mother. Up close, the woman’s skin is grey, lips crusty and bleeding. Her eyes are at half-mast. 

Ben crouches again, carefully keeping the baby tucked into his side. He thinks he loves her already. He thinks he might kill anyone who would dare take her away. 

He looks at this baby girl, and he sees salvation. 

Whoever said love takes time is a bald-faced liar. In less than ten minutes, he’s been absolutely pummelled with such intense feelings for this tiny little human, he’s actually kind of dizzy. All it took was a glimpse of those eyes to melt him.

When he looks at the baby— _his_ baby now—he feels only an all-consuming love, all the more powerful for its unexpectedness. A love that feels ancient, like they’ve known each other before, seen each other in a past life. His heart fucking _aches_. 

But first. Ben snaps his fingers in front of the woman’s face. “Wake up.”

Her head lolls, and her glazed eyes flicker over him briefly before settling on a point over his shoulder. She mumbles incoherently. Doesn’t even notice the baby in his arms. 

A quick glance behind him shows that the father’s still blissfully passed out. He extracts a thick wad of cash from his back pocket and throws it in her lap. “Here. A few thousand should do it.” 

Her fingers drift towards the money. “W—what—?”

“For her,” Ben says calmly, but doesn’t point. He doesn’t want to draw any attention to the baby. Now that she’s safely tucked away in his arms, he’s extremely reluctant to do anything that might put her in danger. He taps the cash. “Everyone’s happy. You, me…” He pauses suggestively. “Your dealer, I suspect.”

Her sluggishness evaporates. She fumbles with the bills, and Ben watches as the glaze in her eyes fades a little. What replaces it is a chilling, calculating glimmer. He doesn’t have to be a mind reader to know she’s figuring out how much meth or coke or whatever the fuck’s arranged in neat rows on the table she can buy with this money. 

The answer: more than enough.

This is the part Kaydel doesn’t need to know.

As Ben straightens, the woman mumbles again. One word. A name? “Rey.” 

He bends at the waist, trying to make sense of it, but that soon proves pointless—the woman falls silent and slumps against the wall, cash held tightly in a bony fist. Whatever she said wasn’t very clear, so maybe it’s something stupid. A curse or a half-hearted protest. But he likes it, the name. 

_Rey._

Ben opens the back door of his car and carefully settles the baby in a new car seat. This one’s pink and white, decorated with tiny little fruits, and the straps are covered with a thin layer of plush so they won't scrape her skin. A bag of expensive clothes for newborns sits on the empty seat. 

He’ll stop at a fast food joint on the way back and change her into a fresh diaper and PJs. She'll be nice and comfy on the car ride home. She has to look presentable when she meets Mommy for the first time. 

Ben twists the key in the ignition and adjusts the rearview mirror so he can see her. He smiles when she blinks at the shiny mobile hanging from her seat and moves a chubby fist to swat it. She catches him watching, and a smile automatically pulls at the corners of her mouth—a reflection of his own. 

“Is my baby happy?” She makes a wet, gurgling noise, and he laughs. “Oh, me too. Let’s go home, Rey.”

Three weeks later, on his lunch break by the floor-to-ceiling windows, Ben adjusts his new watch and squints at the sidewalk. 

The couple never shows for their walk. Not then, and not any day after.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**  
Present Day   
**

Rey couldn’t feel her fingers. 

She knew they were there, but knowing was not the same as feeling. And right now, there was a yawning emptiness inside her chest—a black hole. Somewhere deep down in those hollow depths was horror and rage and sadness and regret, she was sure of it. But for this moment, there was only a vacant kind of disconnect. 

And she still couldn't feel her fingers. 

“Who—were they?” Her voice was a disembodied hush. Maybe she wasn’t real. Maybe there came a point when the brain could no longer make sense of the world, and so the simulation failed, and reality withered. Maybe none of this was real and she would soon wake up. 

Ben rocked on his heels, one hand in his hair, fingers threaded through like he was keeping himself grounded by sheer force of will. “Nobody.”

Rey just waited. _Nobody_ wasn't an answer. _Nobody_ was a word without meaning. 

“They were nobody,” he continued with a shrug. “Filthy addicts. They sold you off for drug money.”

“No,” she said mechanically, shaking her head. “No, they didn’t, they—“

“Rey.” He tilted his head, and the look on his face—pity. “I was there. I’m the one who offered it to them. Your birth mother, she didn’t hesitate.”

Oh. 

She should be crying. Or screaming. She should be raging. But instead there was that endless, infinite hole. A gaping chasm. 

“What happened to them?” she said inflectionlessly. “You said they—“

“Probably buried somewhere in a couple of unmarked graves,” he said tiredly. “They overdosed.” 

Rey nodded and nodded. Her head wouldn’t stop moving. Of course. They overdosed, her _parents_ overdosed. Right. Yes. Okay.

“It wasn’t safe for you there,” he continued in a low voice, ducking his head to try and meet her eyes. But she stared at the grass, blank and unseeing. Still listening, though. Still understanding. “Rey, they weren’t equipped to care for a baby.”

 _That wasn’t your decision to make._ It was a faint voice, one that spoke sense. Rey wished she could dredge up the emotions that went along with such a statement. But she was like a tank on empty. No energy. No will to react. 

“Kaydel—your mother, she _needed_ a baby. I'm not sure if I can ever make you understand that. She was fading right in front of my eyes.” Ben smiled tightly. “Our parents didn’t notice. Or maybe they simply didn’t care, I don't know. But I was worried she might—do something.”

“So you...stole me.” There was no judgement in her voice. Now Rey was just trying to understand. Not adopted. Stolen. 

“It was...an exchange, of sorts,” Ben admitted. “Maybe an unfair one. We got _you_ , after all, and they—“

“Died,” she said flatly. They died.

“Yes,” he said. “And I’m not ashamed. They chose their life. I took you to protect you, to keep you safe and give you a family who would love you. Kaydel has always thought of you as her own—"

 _That’s why we look so different,_ Rey realized then. _Why she stares at me sometimes like I’m an alien. I don’t look like her at all. How could I? I’m not her kid._

Ben was still talking. “—and of course there was a period of adjustment, especially for our parents—"

“How did—" Rey shook her head again. This was too bizarre. She needed to mentally distance herself. If she acted like they were discussing somebody else’s life, it was so much easier to ask questions. “Who knows about this? How did you even…” 

It was downright impossible her grandparents hadn’t noticed that their daughter suddenly had a baby despite showing no signs of pregnancy. Had they just accepted that their daughter skipped downstairs one day nursing a newborn—their grandchild? Could it really be that simple? 

Ben tilted his head back and stared at the sky. “It was winter. Kay wore big sweatshirts to conceal her...bump.” He shrugged, like it really was that easy. “My sister pretended keeping it a secret was intentional. Eventually, Kay told our parents she’d been “afraid to speak about it” because of what happened the first time. Superstitious, our dad called it. They had no reason to suspect she was lying.”

“This is insane,” Rey whispered. The cuff jangled on her wrist when she shifted. Insanity. Madness. They had stolen a baby right from her mother's arms, and no one had ever figured it out. 

“We told anyone who asked that it was an at-home birth. Our mother was a nurse, so that was believable.” Ben continued to recite these facts like he was reading off a grocery list. She reminded herself that to him, this was old news. 

“And my dad?” she asked finally. Was this a family affair? A small, humorless smile touched her lips. 

“Poe doesn’t know.”

“Know what?” She needed to hear it. Out loud. If she misunderstood anything about this, it might break her in half. 

“...That you’re not his daughter. That Kay and I found you on the outskirts of town. Any of it.” Ben heaved a big sigh. “He _suspects,_ but he doesn’t know.” 

“Mom never told him?”

“No.” 

“Why not?” she whispered, and there was a quiver in her voice that hadn’t been there a moment ago. _Finally,_ something was breaking through. 

“I think—ah, I think she was afraid of being alone. If he found out the baby wasn't his—well, either of theirs, for that matter—Kay was sure he'd leave, and she couldn't stand that. She's always loved him,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “But your mom was still in high school, and Poe was working at a company two states north. He was...dating someone else at the time.”

Rey didn’t react to this. Once a cheater, always a cheater, she supposed. He wasn’t her real father, so what did it matter?

Well. It _did_ matter. Some small part of her still went warm at the thought of her father. Out of them all, he was the only one who genuinely believed she was his kid, which meant he had always treated her like she belonged. Rey rolled her lips and tried to force back tears. To him, she was and always would be his daughter. 

“They didn’t see each other often, so it was easy for your mom to pretend to be pregnant for nine months and then inform him of the birth.” Ben grimaced. “Your mom was very thorough. She had it all planned out.”

Rey covered her face with her hands. She wanted to wake up now, please. She wanted to get the fuck out of here. She wanted to run and run and run until her lungs collapsed and her heart burst. 

_I don't belong, I don't belong, I've never belonged._

Forget having a baby. Forget going home again. None of that meant anything. They were strangers. 

She abruptly lifted her head. No, _they_ were a family. _She_ was the stranger. 

_I don't belong._

“You’re not my uncle,” she said through lips gone numb. “You’re not—we aren’t—"

“Don’t say that.” Ben seemed upset, which was confusing. Shouldn’t he be happy they weren’t related? In this context, at least, it made things less complicated. 

“You’re not—none of you are... _real_ ,” she continued desperately. She wasn’t explaining it right, but the point remained—this wasn’t a real family. She was an imposter, and if she was an imposter--she, the glue that held them all together--than the entire family unraveled. 

With a shudder, Rey wondered if she was meant to be a replacement for the baby who died prematurely. Was that how Mom saw her? Nothing more than a substitution?

“Rey.” Ben knelt in front of her and grasped her hands in his own. The chunky cuff scraped across her knuckles. “Family doesn’t necessarily mean _blood_. We’re more than that.”

 _We’re so far less,_ she thought faintly. Was her name even Rey? What if her birth certificate said something completely different? Was she a Mara or Sabine? Lindsay or Claudia? What if Rey was something these fake parents made up? What if they just tossed aside her real name like garbage and stuck a new one on her like a fresh bandaid? 

“Now you see,” Ben said softly, oblivious to the direction of her thoughts. He wore a warm smile she always found irresistible. “I _found_ you, Rey. I was the one to first lay eyes on you, before my sister, before Poe. It was you and me.” Ben kissed her bare knee, and she shivered. “I love you the most. Always have. And I regret handing you over to Kay. I should’ve kept you with me from the start.” 

Rey swallowed and watched as he trailed his lips up her leg. The touch was so nice, so familiar. Warm and intimate and satisfying. She made a soft, pained whimper in the back of her throat and almost reached for him. Her love for him, despite all he’d done, was bottomless. Sometimes she ached with loving him. 

Sometimes it hurt worse than it should. 

“But I was young,” he sighed, resting his cheek on her thigh. “I was still a kid myself. Still in high school. No one prepares boys for parenthood. It’s always the girls who get dolls and plastic food and talking babies. Kaydel was ready for you then, but I—"

When Ben raised his head, she had to suppress a flinch. His eyes were intense. Focused. “Now _I'm_ ready for you.” 

With those words, Rey realized there was something she had to do. As soon as possible, while all this information was still fresh in her mind. Before she allowed herself to truly believe in his words. 

But first, she needed to lie down. 

“Can we go home?” she whispered, lowering her eyes. There were no tears, thankfully, but she knew better than anyone how fast they could take her by surprise. 

“I told you—“ he snapped, fingers digging possessively into her upper thighs. A tremor went through him, and his hands slid to her hips, anchoring her in place. He was always so afraid of her leaving, even when she had nowhere to go. 

“ _Our_ home,” she added quickly. “I want—need some time. To think.” 

Ben’s expression softened, and so did his hold. “Of course, sweetness. I know it’s a lot to take in.” 

He regained his feet, but there was a long, silent moment when nothing happened. Confused, Rey raised her eyes to find Ben staring at her wrist. Ah. Right. The handcuff.

“If I remove this,” he said slowly, “will you promise not to run?”

She nodded. 

“I need to hear you say it, Rey.”

“I promise I won’t run.” And she meant it. That wouldn’t solve anything. There was no getting away from this shitshow. He would simply drag her straight back. 

Ben smiled and kissed the top of her head. “My sweet girl.”

He slipped a tiny key from his back pocket and unlatched the cuff restraining her to the bench. Her lower lip wobbled, and she instinctively extended her arms. Without a word, Ben picked her up in his arms, nuzzling the crook of her neck. 

“I love you, baby girl,” he murmured, one hand cupping her backside as he started down the dirt path. His teeth nipped possessively at her throat, scraping across her bruises. “Never forget that.”

Rey sniffled and nodded against his shoulder. There was no chance of forgetting.

Settled in the passenger seat of his Porsche, the seatbelt clicked in nice and snug, Rey hiccuped, blinked, and paid close attention to the positioning of Ben’s hands on the steering wheel.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Home.

Three floors, glass walls, untouched furniture. _This is home,_ she told herself, and willed it to be true. 

There were five guest rooms in Ben’s house— _her_ house. She was supposed to have taken up residence in the largest one by the stairs, but he never gave her the option. For the past two weeks, she’d been living in his bedroom. _Their_ bedroom, now.

 _This is home,_ immediately followed by, _Is this home?_

She wasn't sure what _home_ meant anymore. What was a house without a home? What was a girl without a family? 

_Nobody._

As soon as Ben pulled into the driveway, Rey fled to the second floor and locked herself away in one of these guest rooms. A queen-sized bed dominated one wall, and the matching blue dresser, desk, and nightstands put her at ease. Blue reminded her of the ocean, of summers spent at the beach, of days lounging poolside. Blue reminded her of her imaginary island. Blue was a calm color. It cleared her head when reds and greens and browns only mucked it up.

Sitting on the floor on the far side of the bed, knees drawn to her chest, Rey stared at the wall. She stared like she could find answers written on the trim, embedded in the thin sheets of wallpaper. She was overwhelmed, which didn’t happen often, but it seemed Ben had cornered the market on confusing her. 

And she was tremendously confused. 

Kaydel wasn’t her mom. Poe wasn’t her dad and didn’t even _know_ it. These two facts swirled in her mind as though caught in a whirlpool. Around and around, senseless and foreign. She swallowed down a thick knot in her throat. Was it her responsibility to finally tell Dad the truth? How could Mom have kept something so monumental from him for _sixteen years_? She loved him, apparently, always had, but if you loved someone you didn't manipulate them into staying with you. 

And then there was Ben. He wasn’t her uncle, and frankly, she didn’t quite know what to do with that. On the one hand, they could actually, like...date and stuff. People would still probably think their age difference was weird, but it was still possible. On the other hand...

She had to remind herself it could all be a lie. Ben and Kaydel were apparently masters at concealing the truth. Even _this_ story might be a cover for something much darker. 

A loud **THUMP THUMP THUMP** startled her out of her thoughts. She jumped in place and squeezed herself tighter. Ben was at the door again. The third time in the last hour. 

“Sweetness, please open up. I’m really worried about you.” A muffled thud—probably his forehead meeting the wood. “ _Rey_.”

He sounded upset. But she bit her lip and didn’t move. Ben needed to give her space sometimes. Why didn’t he understand that? Couldn’t he just let her _think_? 

“Baby, it’s been two hours.”

 _I'm afraid,_ she wanted to shout. _I'm afraid, and you're not making it any better._

She was still struggling to reconcile the fact that her name wasn’t Rey Dameron or even possibly Rey. Imagine, she told herself with a sternness she didn't feel, looking in a mirror and saying, _This is what a Sabine Clarkson looks like. This is Marissa Mahoney. This is—_

A solid **THUMP,** harder than the others, followed by a low curse. “Open up, Rey. Don’t make me come in there.”

Or what? Rey shook her head. If he was so insistent about interrupting her moment of peace, he would have to work for it.

Ignoring the jangling of the doorknob, Rey laid her forehead on the tops of her knees and clapped her hands over her ears. It was dark and quiet like this. She used to do it all the time as a little kid when the world got to be too much. Curl in on herself, make the world small, and breathe. 

The bedroom smelled pleasant, like flowers. When she was in a bad place, she liked to imagine her island—another coping mechanism instated as a kid—so she did that now. It was easier than the other times because now she knew for certain that she really _was_ alone, in real life as well as on this fantasy island. 

She could build a hut and collect tree branches and drink from coconuts, and when she gazed at the stars in the middle of the night she would remember that nothing mattered because her parents were dead.

Her parents were dead.

The bedroom door exploded inward, banging against the wall and rebounding into Ben. She jumped and raised her head. He stalked into the room, tossing his phone on the desk, and stared down at her with eyes like black glass.

“...There you are.” 

She couldn’t help but notice he said it like he had been searching for years. 

It had been _two hours._

Rey exhaled wearily through her nose. “Ben—”

He scooped her up easily, one hand sliding under her knees, the other spanning the length of her back. She was airborne, and the nauseous swoop in her stomach pulled a gasp from her throat. 

“Can you—" she started dizzily.

Not listening—and when did he ever—Ben laid her on the bed and climbed up, crowding her against the mattress. She whined and pushed fruitlessly at his chest, but he simply buried his face between her breasts and waited for her to calm down.

“You’re the only one who’s ever mattered to me,” he mumbled, his arms sliding around her waist. “I hate that you’re hurting right now.”

It was useless. He had her pinned. Rey stared at the white ceiling. The pillow under her head was soft and fluffy, and in no time her eyes grew heavy. It was only mid-afternoon, but it felt like days and days had passed since she woke extra early to drink tea on the window seat in the kitchen. 

Ben kissed the hollow of her throat. “We’re going to make a family of our own, sweetness. Just you and me and as many babies as you want.” 

She let out a soft, defeated whimper and pushed her face into his shoulder so he wouldn’t see her expression crumple. He always knew just what to say to make her feel better, and that was all she could think of now—a family of her own. Not the one she’d been stolen from, not the fake one she’d been led to believe was real. Hers and Ben’s.

Impossibly, she could still see it. Two cheerful little boys with her green eyes and a girl with Ben’s thick dark hair. 

But before she allowed herself another dream, she had to be absolutely sure it wasn't just another nightmare. 

Ben was already bunching her skirt up around her hips, his fingers twisting her thin panties aside. His mouth roved hungrily up her neck and sought out her lips for a kiss that was rough and edged with panic, like if he didn’t take her here and now he would lose all sense. Knowing he might not listen, but willing to take the risk ,she stilled him with a hand and peeked at him through lashes dewy with tears. 

“Can we just cuddle? For now? I’m—not in the mood for—for—"

Instantly contrite—he loathed to see her in distress—Ben kissed her gently on the mouth and rolled her onto his chest. Her limbs sprawled the length of his body, legs tangling, their hips slotting together. Rey curled her fingers around his wrist and guided his thumb to her mouth. 

She sucked complacently, reminded of one of their secret pastimes when Ben would slather his hands with cream and make her lick them clean. It started when she was twelve and continued until she was fourteen when her parents decided she no longer needed a babysitter, despite Ben's willingness. He praised her endlessly, peppered her face with kisses, and they would laugh and snuggle on the sofa until bedtime. They bonded more in those brief moments than she and her parents had in years.

Now, Ben kissed the crown of her head. “Mm. Daddy’s little girl is tired, isn’t she? All worn out.”

She hummed and sucked on his thumb. _Daddy_ again.

“So sleepy,” he cooed, trailing a hand under her skirt. His fingers brushed aside her panties and stroked her slit. “Be a good girl and stay still, okay?” 

“Ben—” she mumbled, twisting uncomfortably. 

“Now, now,” he scolded, cupping her sex when she squirmed. “No touching, promise. Daddy just wants to feel your pussy.” A low, satisfied vibration rolled through his chest—almost a purr. “Mm. So wet and plump, isn’t it.”

It was a good thing his thumb was jammed in her mouth because she was pretty damn close to demanding he tear her clothes off and lick between her legs until she came on his tongue. She wanted to bounce in his lap until all her worries and fears were completely erased. She wanted him to fuck her senseless. 

But for once, there was something more important to consider. Something she needed more than Ben’s love.

The truth. All of it. 

When Ben finally drifted off to sleep sometime after eight, Rey carefully extracted herself from his grip and wiggled off the bed. The mattress creaked once, but Ben didn’t stir. He must be just as exhausted by the day’s events as she was. 

Heart rolling somersaults in her chest, Rey placed her phone facedown on the kitchen counter, lifted Ben’s keys from the stand by the front door, and fled across the lawn. The neighborhood was eerily silent—no sign of the Peeping Tom next door. 

Plugging the keys in the Porsche’s ignition was easy. Shifting from **PARK** to **REVERSE** was also simple enough. She’d paid close attention to the way Ben maneuvered the car when he drove them home from the park. Still, she had trouble navigating out of the driveway and accidentally nicked the mailbox on her way by.

Angled awkwardly in the middle of the street, Rey grunted and shifted to **DRIVE.** Her foot hit the pedal, and the entire car lurched forward like a bull from the starting gate.

“Shit,” she gasped, peering nervously at the windows of Ben’s house. Hopefully he hadn’t heard the engine revving. She didn’t know if there were any other cars in the garage—she’d never bothered to check—but it was still better to be quiet. He couldn’t catch her this early on. 

Lightly tapping the gas pedal, Rey coasted at about twenty miles an hour until she hit the stop sign at the corner. She floored it again—accidentally!—when merging onto a busy four-lane road, and then for the entire fifteen minute ride she blinked only twice. 

Parking in the street with one tire mounted on the curb—she didn’t even have her learner’s permit, okay, she was trying her best—Rey shot out of the car and ran up to the front door of her childhood home. She still had a key, and she entered quietly, stepping out of her shoes in the foyer.

Padding silently through the living and dining rooms, Rey checked the kitchen, but it was empty. The clock said it was nearly eight-thirty—Mom’s usual dinnertime. Her stomach rumbled on cue, and Rey remembered she hadn’t yet eaten today. She cast that worry aside when a shadow briefly appeared on the staircase. It vanished, and a second later a sewing machine chugged to life. 

Her mom was upstairs.

Rey knew the way by heart, and in no time, she was hesitating in the doorway to the craft room. This was where Mom kept her magazines, sewing needles, fabric swatches, wigs, and countless other arts and crafts. When she was young, Mom would let her spin around in gauzy rolls of silk and chiffon, play with yarn, stack buttons according to color, and watch as she sewed the final details on a dress or skirt. Sitting in her lap, ensconced by her arms, Rey would laugh and laugh and think, _Mommy is so pretty and so smart. I love her so much._

It’s a horrible thing to grow up and realize adults are flawed too. 

Right, then. Rey inhaled deeply to steady herself. If she could just get through this next part, if she could just make it to the end of today, maybe things would get better. They had to eventually, right?

There was a silver lining somewhere. She just had to find it. 

“Are you going to stand there all night?” Mom raised an eyebrow but didn’t stop fiddling with a big, brassy button she was affixing to a knee-length brown skirt. 

“Kaydel,” she said hoarsely, rolling the name in her mouth like a piece of sour candy. 

She couldn’t be Mom anymore. 

“Yes,” she said with a small, confused laugh. “That’s me, darling. Can I ask what you’re doing here?" Then, bitterly, "I thought you'd be off gallivanting somewhere with my brother.”

“Kaydel,” she said again, and now her voice was firm. If she was going to do this, there couldn’t be any hesitation. Just fucking do it. 

Her mother’s smile faltered, then withered completely at the expression on Rey’s face. “What is it.”

Not a question, Rey noticed, and there was fear in her voice now, as if she could guess.

She swallowed and inched into the room. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

Kaydel finally stopped messing with the skirt and leaned back in her plush armchair. Her hands fell limply to her lap. “I’m not sure—"

“You’re not my mother,” she said sharply, and then, because she knew it would hurt, added, “My mother is dead.”

Kaydel flinched. “...Ben told you?” 

“Ben wanted me to know the truth, unlike someone.” Her shoulders were heaving, and she realized belatedly that the heat in her chest was a slowly fermenting rage. “ _Were you ever going to tell me?_ ” 

“You have to understand—"

Rey stepped forward, clenching her fists. “I’m not going to ask again.”

Kaydel shook her head wordlessly.

Hot, salty tears spilled down Rey’s cheeks, but she was so far past the need for emotion that she didn’t bother wiping them away. They were nothing. Meaningless. 

_Nobody._

“You _stole_ me,” she said, speaking very clearly and very calmly so there would be no misunderstanding. “You paid off some random couple and took me from them. From my _home._ ” 

Kaydel continued to shake her head—disbelief, denial, or something else, Rey didn’t care. 

Fists clenched at her sides, shaking with fury, she snarled, “You _kidnapped_ me! No, that’s not— You actually made _Ben_ do it. You didn’t even have the guts to do it yourself.” 

“No,” the woman who’d pretended to be her mom whispered. “Rey, I couldn’t—he _offered_ —”

“ _YOU KILLED THEM,_ ” she screamed, spittle flying from her mouth. Her tears threatened to choke her, and she thought, _Let them fucking try._

Kaydel was sobbing now too, suddenly, explosively, head hanging so low her chin nearly touched her chest. But Rey didn’t care. Not about _her_ feelings. _She_ was the one who had done all of these horrible things. Nobody had forced her to kidnap a baby and erase its history. 

Erase _her_.

Rey sucked in air through her mouth and reached for the nearest object. It was a crystal paperweight in the shape of a butterfly. She heaved it across the room, surprised at her own strength, and it smashed into the edge of the window with a clamorous tinkling. 

Kaydel flinched again at the noise but didn't raise her head. She covered her face and sobbed wordlessly. In her nice chino pants and silk blouse, house slippers on her feet and hair piled in an artfully tousled bun on top of her head even though it was after nine at night— 

Seeing all of this, Rey wanted to burn the house down. Her mother and her perfect life. If Kaydel Dameron didn’t get what she wanted, why, she’d just go and take it, wouldn’t she? Privileged, narcissistic _bitch—_

“I hate you,” she said calmly, palms stinging. She realized there were tiny cuts all over her hands, and her gaze slid to the side. She must’ve picked up another glass paperweight and crushed it without noticing. She had no memory of doing so. 

“I hate you, _Kaydel Dameron,_ ” she said, spitting the name at her mother. At this stranger. Her _kidnapper._ She almost laughed. Kidnapper. Fucking ludicrous. 

“You can hate me,” Kaydel said dully, lips trembling. There was snot running from her nose, but she made no move to wipe it away. “That’s fine, Rey. I probably deserve it. But I want you to know I’d do it again.”

“I don’t care.” If she repeated it often enough, maybe she could make it true. 

“I know,” Kaydel whispered, and it sounded like the words were being wrenched from deep inside her chest. “I know. But I couldn’t leave you there. It was wrong, but they were addicts, and they would’ve killed you too.”

Rey scoffed and stared out the window. “You don’t know that. You have no way of knowing that, so don’t pretend like you were doing me a favor—"

Kaydel shrugged helplessly. “All I knew was pain and heartbreak. I wanted a baby, Rey. From the time I was a little girl, that was all I knew—I wanted to be a mother.” She sobbed, once—a terrible sound. “I lost my first baby at fifteen. By seventeen, when I met your father, nothing had worked. I had tried and tried and _tried_ — I didn’t care who the father was, at that point. Anyone would’ve done. But nothing worked.” She closed her eyes. “But then Ben—"

“Then Ben told you about the pathetic little druggies down the street with a newborn, and you decided, hey, she’s ripe for the taking!” Rey shook her head, fingers flexing. She wanted to hit something. Better stay far away from Kaydel or it might be her. “Did it ever occur to you to _offer_ to adopt me? Give my parents that option? _Did it?_ ” 

But she knew the answer. Of course she did. Rey didn’t get her selfishness from just anyone.

“You gave struggling addicts enough money to fill a fucking _pool_ with white powder, and that—it’s—you _killed_ them,” Rey whispered, and laughed. “You killed them because you couldn’t just ask.” 

“What if they said no?” Kaydel demanded indignantly. “I wanted you too badly by then. No matter what their answer was, I would’ve just found a way to get to you, anyway.”

Rey slumped against the far wall. “You didn’t even tell Dad. He doesn’t even know—" But the words faltered and fell soundlessly between then. She cried openly now. 

“When your father and I first got...involved,” Kaydel said, staring at her lap, “when I lied and told him I was—had been ‘pregnant,’ he—“ She pinched the bridge of her nose. “He was already with someone else. A long-term relationship.” 

“Oh, so you’ve ruined _another_ woman’s life on top of—"

“A man.”

Rey blinked. “What?”

“Your father was involved with a man.” Kaydel’s chin wobbled. “I think—looking back—I think maybe they were—he was—“ A small, pitiful laugh. “Your father was going to marry him. But I ruined that.” 

She was past the point of surprise. Her father was a serial cheater, apparently, but if Kaydel was responsible for ruining his life, then maybe he deserved some leeway. But only some. Not so innocent, after all, huh, Dad? 

“It’s not like I can even replace you,” Rey said finally, throwing up her hands. She hoped her words cut. “My real parents are dead, and I don’t know anyone else. Relatives or whatever. _You_ people are all I have.” 

“...Is it really so bad?” Kaydel asked in a small voice. One look at Rey’s face was enough to give her an answer.

Rey pressed the heels of her palms to her forehead and wished for everything to be over. All of it. She just wanted to lay down somewhere warm and quiet and never wake up. 

_I don't belong. I've never belonged._

With painstaking attention to detail and for the second time that day, Rey began piecing together her imaginary island. Coconuts and palm trees and sand. Silence reigned around the two of them, and she used that to imagine she was somewhere else altogether. Somewhere that hurt less. 

“I know,” Kaydel said finally, disrupting the uneasy peace.

Exhausted, eyes bloodshot, Rey raised her head. “More terrible news?”

“I know about Ben. That he—that you two are—" Kaydel sniffled and brushed tears from the corners of her eyes. “I tried, Rey. You have no idea, but he—he’s _relentless,_ and I didn’t know how to keep him away when you already loved him so much—“

“What?” The words were making her dizzy. Was it weird she was struggling to follow along? What was she saying about Ben? 

If Kaydel seemed genuinely distressed before, now she was positively overwhelmed. She couldn’t talk through her tears, and Rey waited impatiently for her to go on. The seconds ticked by, and she sensed a second buildup of rage surging through her veins. 

“It was Poe’s—your father’s—idea,” she started, shaking her head. “To cut off contact with Ben. We were worried about you, Rey. Your safety. Not that we thought Ben would _hurt_ you, but—" Kaydel licked her lips. “Your dad was afraid Ben was planning to kidnap you.”

For a second, nothing about this string of words registered. 

Then Rey burst into hysterical laughter. 

“You thought—" she gasped “—that Ben was going to kidnap me...from my _kidnappers_?” She howled, tears pouring down her cheeks. “Kidnap-ception? He already took me away from one home, what’s one more, right? Does one kidnapping negate the other? I'm officially not stolen? Wow!”

But Kaydel obviously didn’t find this funny. “What we did was wrong, Rey, but we’ve always treated you like family. Because you _are_ family. Ben, on the other hand…” She looked sad when she said, “Ben’s always been a little too obsessed with you.”

Rey tried to sober up. Something about this description resonated with her. “You told him that his behavior was unhealthy.” 

Kaydel bobbed her head, encouraged. “My brother was at the house every single day after we brought you home. That’s not an exaggeration, either— _every day._ At first, it was no big deal—newborns are impossible to handle alone—but then Poe couldn’t focus and I couldn’t take two steps without bumping into him.” She sighed. “My brother would make excuses to stay, and they—well, they all went right back to you, Rey. You needed more food and cleaner clothes and newer toys and fresh air and on and _on_. It wasn’t obvious to me at first, but—Ben would hold you for hours, even when all you did was sleep. He played with you and fed you and even slept next to your crib some nights on an air mattress.” 

Kaydel stared blankly at the wall, as if remembering all these fine details from so long ago. “Then it got worse. He refused to leave you with another babysitter, and he didn’t approve of any of the daycares we vetted. He insisted that only _he_ could feed you and only _he_ could tuck you in at night.” She hiccuped, and it might’ve been a sob or a laugh. Perhaps a combination. “I caught him looming over your crib one night. Just...staring down at you. He said he—he couldn’t sleep because he was so worried something was going to happen to you. That you would be—” Her voice wavered. “—taken from him.” 

Kaydel tilted her head back against the chair and squeezed her eyes shut. “Ben wanted to be your protector more than anything, Rey. More than he wanted to be an uncle or a caregiver. Some days—" Here she laughed, a bit wryly. “—I think he wished _he_ was your dad.” 

Rey cupped the back of her neck and stared at the floor. She consciously did not think about all the times Ben had encouraged her to call him Daddy. 

“The last straw for Poe was when he caught the two of you taking a bath.” Kaydel’s voice grew tremulous. “You were maybe six. He...I wasn’t there, but based on what your dad says—Ben, he was…c-cleaning your—” She started to cry—great, heaving lungfuls that sounded painful. 

“Rey, please, you have to know—my brother would _never_ hurt you. He’s always loved you so damn much, I—I’ve never seen anyone love with such passion. Ben—he did these things because he was confused.” Kaydel nodded frantically. “He wants the best for you, Rey. That’s all. As a father figure or as an uncle or—someone more. He just wants to take care of you.”

“I don’t think,” Rey said carefully, eyes on the floor, “Ben ever loved me as a niece.”

To her surprise, Kaydel agreed immediately. “You’re right. When you were a baby, he saw you as a daughter—his responsibility and his alone. I think because he’s the one who found you. But he gave you to me and your dad—he absolved himself of that role. And then his behavior got to be too much.” Her voice turned pleading. ”We _had_ to send him away. He left us no choice.” 

“For six years?” Rey demanded. The one person who had loved her unconditionally, and they made sure to keep him completely disconnected from her life. 

“Poe was scared,” Kaydel whispered, hurt. “He didn’t know that you weren’t—that you aren’t—related to us, and I think he was threatened by Ben’s claim over you.” 

Poe. Dad. Mr. Dameron. She didn’t want to think about him now. 

“Once I leave this house,” she said flatly, “I don’t think I’ll come back.”

“Rey—"

“No,” she said faintly. “This is so— _twisted,_ I don’t have words for it. I don’t want to see you or Dad or anyone for as long as—"

“Ben?” Kaydel interrupted quietly. “Will you talk to Ben?”

That was the question, wasn’t it. Ben had told her the truth, even if it wasn’t his truth to tell—he did it anyway. For years and years, he made sure to keep her happy and safe. Maybe his methods were a little weird. Maybe he said and did things that were...inappropriate. But it always came from a place of love. He told her all the time that she was ”it” for him—that he’d been waiting a lifetime for her. She could forgive him everything, as long as he picked her, too. 

This was it, then. This was the truth. 

“Yes,” she sighed, closing her eyes against a surge of relief. Now that she knew everything, it was time to make a decision, and she was surprised by how easy it was to choose. “I want to—”

From down the street or somewhere outside of the neighborhood altogether, angry horns suddenly blared and tires squealed. A car backfired, and the sound of a high-powered engine ripped through the night. The sounds were like gunshots in the still air of the house. 

Unsettled by the clamor, Rey drew up her knees and put her head in her hands. She had such a fucking headache. If only she had access to some ibuprofen, she would down half a bottle and fuck the consequences. Part of her was proud of herself for seeking out the truth, but a larger part—the part that was still overwhelmed by these discoveries—was simply exhausted. 

Across the room, the desk chair squeaked, the wheels rolling slowly over the hardwood floor, and Kaydel rose laboriously to her feet.

The loud engine grew closer, roaring down the silent streets. A second later tires screeched across asphalt, and a car door slammed shut so hard the next-door neighbor’s security alarm went off. 

With a sigh, Kaydel padded from the room wearing her white Calvin Klein slippers, intent on meeting Ben in the foyer. _Obviously,_ it was Ben. She knew that as well as she knew the sky was blue and the grass was green. Frankly, she was surprised it had taken him so long to follow. 

The front door crashed inward, smacking into the gleaming antique clock beside the window pane. The violence was like a shockwave, and Rey huddled against the wall. 

“ _WHERE IS SHE,_ ” he thundered, and Rey listened with a detached sort of interest as Kaydel said something to him in a low, soothing voice. 

But apparently her words weren’t enough. Loud footsteps stomped down the hall and up the stairs. Rey didn’t move, even when she felt his presence in the doorway—a brilliant beacon calling for her, drawing her in. Kaydel was speaking rapidly behind her brother, but evidently nothing she said made a difference because Ben didn’t react.

The back of her neck prickled, and Rey shifted uncomfortably, bizarrely worried that all the air had been sucked straight out of the room. Her lungs were on fire, and she didn't think that was normal. She felt Ben’s stare on her back like a heavy weight. 

This wasn’t a way to live. She was so tired of fighting. 

Rey raised her head—with significant and concentrated effort—and met Ben’s stare. She registered his wild bedhead and half-dressed state, bloodshot eyes that were a mirror-image of her own, and she immediately started to cry again. 

_I don't belong here._

Ben grunted a soft, strangled sound and was across the room in three strides. The second his hands touched her bare skin, Rey melted into him, sobbing and choking on apologies. He gently shushed her and sat down right there on the floor of Kaydel’s arts and crafts room. She went willingly into his arms, sitting in his lap and breathing in ragged gasps against his broad shoulder. 

“I’m sorry,” she cried, again and again, like a robot stuck on one setting. “I’m sorry, Ben, I’m sorry, I’m so—"

“Baby,” he whispered, rocking them side to side. He was so gentle. “Sweetness. It’s okay. Take a deep breath.” 

But Rey was beside herself. She couldn’t calm down. Everything was too much. Her fake family had destroyed her real family, and her uncle was a man obsessed. She didn’t know if she still had any friends, and her dreams seemed pointless. All Kaydel had wanted was to be a mom, too, and look where that got her! 

Her lungs shriveled tight in her chest, and she started to shake uncontrollably. High-pitched bells rang in her ears, lights flashed across her field of vision, and she suddenly had trouble distinguishing up from down. 

Distantly, she heard Ben say, “She’s hyperventilating.” 

Kaydel responded in a low, angry voice. He shifted her in his lap until she was pressed to his chest, her head tucked under his chin. Directly under her ear beat his heart—loud and steady and strong. _Focus,_ she ordered herself. _You need to focus._

Ben’s voice again, sharper now: “I was there for you when you needed me. It’s your turn to help _me,_ Kay. I’ve done everything you’ve asked.” 

Rey did her best to curl into a ball in Ben’s arms. Blocking out the world was becoming second nature. Her nose skated along his collarbone, and she huffed the faint smell of bourbon and cinnamon. Had he been drinking? When had he found the time? 

“It’s okay,” he murmured, his lips moving against the top of her head. He smelled like outside, and at some point a window had been opened because she sensed the air was fresh and vaguely wet with early morning dew. The sounds of traffic were far-off and muted. “I’ve got you, Rey.”

With Kaydel’s help, he carried her downstairs and settled her in the passenger seat of a sleek black sedan she’d never seen before. He must have a spare car or two (or seven) in his garage she didn’t know about. Ben buckled her in, but before he could move back, she grabbed his shirtfront and kissed him on the mouth. It was sloppy and rushed and desperate, and Kaydel was only feet away, but Rey found she didn’t care. 

_I don't belong here, but maybe, with Ben..._

Ben, to his credit, didn’t react with surprise. He kissed her back instantly, lips sliding across her own, a pleased hum vibrating deep inside his chest, and then he leaned away. His face was set in a hard, serious expression. “You’re safe with me, Rey. I promise you that.”

“I love you,” she gasped, hoping he could see the depth of it in her eyes. _I pick you,_ she thought at him. _Over my parents and friends and everyone. I pick you._

A faint smile touched his lips. He was pleased. “Love you more.”

He gently shut the door. Through the window, Rey stared at M—Kaydel. Shit. She would have to rewire her thoughts or something. No more _mom_ or _mommy_ or _mother._ Just Kaydel. 

She sniffled quietly on the drive back. Ben held her hand across the center console, his thumb rubbing slow, soothing circles on her palm. The cuts from the broken paperweight stung, but Ben's touch was whisper-soft, and he did his best to avoid them. Occasionally, he’d mumble, “Everything’s okay,” or “In and out, baby.” She listened to the low timbre of his voice and did exactly as he said. Ben had always looked out for her—she believed that now. 

_I pick you._

Minutes later, they arrived home. Ben carried her into the house. She breathed in the familiar scent of his warm skin and wished there was some way to bottle it up so she could carry it around with her. So she could peel back the lid and take a whiff anytime the world got to be too much. 

With heart-wrenching gentleness, Ben set her on the edge of the bed, slid off her clothes, and folded them on a nearby armchair. The bedroom was dimly lit, and her muscles ached from all the adrenaline. She shivered in her panties and looked up at Ben. 

He was standing before her, hands on his hips, with a sad expression on his face. Like whatever he saw was breaking his heart. Rey didn’t want to be the one to make him feel that way, not after learning how much he’d always cared for her, always tried his best to stay by her side. Finally, with a sense of relief, she held out her arms, fingers grasping. 

“Please,” she whispered, lower lip trembling. “I—I need you, Daddy.”

The effect was instantaneous. Like a switch had been flipped. His hands dropped from his hips, and he scooped her off the bed. She squealed and kicked her feet, bracing herself on his shoulders as he whirled them around to the spare armchair. He sat down and adjusted her so she was facedown in his lap, ass in the air, head hanging to one side. 

“Ben,” she said shakily, blood rushing to her head, “what—"

He smoothed a palm over her backside, kissed her shoulder, and cracked his hand across one cheek. She jerked and choked on a gasp, skin tingling from the contact.

“That’s Daddy to you, baby girl.” His voice was low, almost a growl, and it did weird things to her lower belly. “You ran away again.”

Oh. Rey had already forgotten about the episode on the beach. He had been really upset then and made her promise not to make it a repeat offense. But now—

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, biting her bottom lip. Again and again she had proven herself unworthy of his attention. He loved her so much, and all she did was disappoint him. 

“Why are you sorry?” 

She gulped and shifted restlessly in his lap. “For abandoning you. For—for not telling you where I was going.” 

“Mm.” He seemed unsatisfied, and when his hand began moving in circles on her ass, she tensed. “I don’t think you learned your lesson the first time.”

“I did, Daddy!” she exclaimed, eager to please him. God, anything to make him happy. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking—"

“No,” he agreed, “you weren’t, were you.” Then he sighed, and it was a sound that seemed to express years of pent-up exasperation. “Rey.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

He shuddered, and she could tell the endearment pleased him far more than he was letting on. “Listen close. You’re going to count to ten.”

She frowned and twisted her head sideways, trying to catch a glimpse of his face. “What for?”

He ignored this question. “Do you think you can do that for your daddy?”

She nodded, buns bobbing. “Yes.”

“Yes, what?” he said sharply, and his other hand was suddenly clamped on the back of her neck. His fingers flexed and wrapped around the sides, the pad of his index finger digging into the hollow of her throat. 

“Y-yes, Daddy,” she stammered. It was getting easier and easier to call him Daddy. In a weird, unexplainable sort of way, it was comforting. 

“Good.” He kissed the back of her head and murmured, “Go ahead then, sweetness.”

Still confused, she managed a soft, “I—” and then his hand came down on her backside, sharp and stinging. It wasn't the hardest he’d ever hit her, but it was still shocking in its abruptness.

Rey wailed and thrashed, but she couldn’t move much with his hand on the back of her neck, keeping her locked in place. Her feet kicked pathetically, and Ben’s big hand massaged her ass.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he cooed, stroking her stinging cheek. “Count for Daddy, now.”

“One,” she said in a voice that wavered, and he slapped her again. “T-two.”

“Good girl, such a good, sweet girl,” he said, fingers tightening on her neck. Her vision dimmed gray at the corners. “Eight more to go, baby.”

Eight more. Jesus. Rey sniffled and braced herself for the next hit. 

She deserved this. Not just for running and stealing his car, but for making life so difficult for him these past few weeks. Kaydel had made it clear all he had ever done was look out for her, treat her like his own daughter, like someone who deserved love, and she had disobeyed and ignored him at every turn like a selfish brat. He had kept a massive secret from her, yes, but it wasn’t even _his_ secret, yet he—not her mom—had been the one to tell her the truth. Because he loved her. Because he had _always_ loved her from the moment their eyes met that day in her parents’ makeshift drug den. 

She would take whatever punishment he decided was necessary. It was the least she could do. There were countless types of love, and Ben had felt each one for her and her alone. 

Ben spanked her twice in a row, and even though she whined and bucked in his lap, she gasped, “Three, f-four,” and wiggled her ass to spur him on. Her pussy ached to be touched, even now, and she arched her back. Her love was like a volcano ready to erupt. She needed him like a dehydrated wanderer needed water—desperately and at great peril. 

He tucked his hand between her thighs and shifted her further up so she could rest her head on the padded arm of the chair. Drawing off her soaked panties, Ben viciously smacked her other cheek, and instead of “five,” what came out of her mouth was a high-pitched, “ _Daddy!_ ” 

Beneath her, his cock jumped.

“You like that, baby? You like when Daddy spanks his bad girl?” Ben’s voice was rough, and Rey could feel arousal slicking the inside of her thighs. She moaned and huffed a frustrated breath. 

Even though it hurt—or maybe _because_ it hurt and she needed the distraction—she whimpered, “Oh, Daddy, I’ve been so bad. Such a—a naughty girl.” 

“Oh, fuck,” he hissed, and his palm came down again and again. Rey screamed and barely managed to shout the remaining few numbers at him through the pain wrapped around her mind like gauze. She was sobbing, snot and spit dripping down her chin, but she didn’t care because he fucking loved her, he loved her so much that the fear of losing her was eating him alive, and that was exactly what Rey wanted—for someone to lose their mind because of her, for someone to risk everything to keep her close. 

_Love me,_ she thought at him. _Please love me._

“N-nine,” she gasped aloud, facial muscles twitching. Her ass was on fire, so flushed with blood that she could hardly feel anything aside from a numb, pins-and-needles sensation. 

Ben leaned down until his lips brushed the shell of her ear. His breath was hot and staccato with excitement. “You remember this, baby. You try to disappear again, and Daddy will punish you.”

“I won’t forget,” she said hoarsely, voice raw from screaming. “Promise, Daddy. I don’t want to leave you, not ever.”

This declaration made him pause. “Is that right. You—want to stay.” 

Rey nodded enthusiastically, which was a little awkward in her upside-down position. “I love you, Ben. I love you so much, and I—I want to be with you. Forever.” 

She blushed then—why did she sound like a five year old professing her love to a favored teacher? _Forever and ever and ever._

“Forever,” he whispered in a low, awed voice. Rey swallowed and hoped she hadn’t said the wrong thing. 

“Yes,” she confirmed, arching her back again, “yes, Daddy. Forever.” 

His swallow was audible. Very, very lightly, so faint it was more an impression than a hit, Ben tapped her backside with his palm, and she murmured, “Ten.” 

He gripped her around the waist and tugged her upright. Rey frantically grabbed for him, and their mouths met with a sloppy, desperate crash. She moaned and opened her mouth, and he slid his tongue inside so she could taste him. 

His cock wedged between her bare thighs, and Rey wiggled on it as if possessed. He was hard and hot, and his groans shuddered through them both. She grabbed the back of his neck and squashed herself against his chest. He devoured her mouth with an intensity that would’ve frightened her a week ago. 

But now she knew better. Ben was hers, and she had always, always been his.

“Can I love you, baby?” he rasped, already rising and staggering to the bed. “Will you let me?”

A sob caught in her chest. “Yes, please.”

Ben laid her gently on the bed and grabbed his collar to tear off his shirt. She watched the muscles in his arms and chest ripple, and her body clenched in response. This was the one person in the whole world who wanted the best for her and was willing to do whatever it took to make it happen. She owed him everything.

Rey scratched lightly at his lower stomach, smiling as the muscles went taut. He huffed and braced his big hands on her knees, eyes intense and all dark pupil. For a long moment, he studied her, naked and splayed wide open before him. 

“Your mother,” he said slowly, fingers flexing on her calves, “Kaydel—she knows it’s thanks to me she got to have a child at all.”

Rey nodded. She understood that now too. If it weren’t for Ben, she would still be with her real parents. Or, she realized with a shudder, in a foster home somewhere. Kaydel never would’ve sought her out on her own; she was too afraid and uncertain to take such a risk. 

It was Ben. It was always Ben.

“Hopefully,” he added in a soft voice, sliding his hands over her knees and up her thighs. “Hopefully, Kaydel won’t try to take you from me. I think she finally understands that you belong here. With me.” 

_I belong to you._

The old saying came back to her then, and Rey relaxed automatically. Those words had been a comforting mantra throughout her late childhood, after Poe allowed Ben back into their lives. 

_I belong to you_ as Ben took her on shopping sprees and lunch dates and to late-night movies, both of them giggling and throwing handfuls of buttered popcorn at each other across the theater seats.

 _I belong to you_ as he kissed her goodnight, lifting up her shirt to scratch her skin with his stubble, nuzzling her belly, ribs, hips. 

_I belong to you_ as she sat in his lap at family picnics, her hands buried in potato salad, his hands buried in her hair, carefully weaving the strands into pretty braids, whispering how much he loved her so no one else could hear. 

_I belong to you_ as he hand-fed her ripe strawberries, lazily licking her chin when juice spilled over her lips and down the curve of her throat. 

_I belong to you_ as they snuggled under a mountain of blankets on the couch, his big hand on her bare hip, his mouth nestled in the crook of her neck, their breathing muted yet in-sync. 

Like twin heartbeats, they only thrived together. Like twin suns, they rose and set as one. 

Now, Ben cupped her waist, expression loose and thoughtful. His thumbs painted circles on her belly, and she stared up at him through a deep, satiated daze. His lips were so pink, and from a short distance they looked ripe enough to eat. She wanted them on her skin, trailing soft lines down her neck, parting around her hard nipples. She wanted him to devour her until there was nothing left, until there was no _he_ and _she_ or _him_ and _her_ but only _them_.

 _Us._

Rey whined and reached for him. “Ben, please, please—"

His expression shifted, very subtly. Her breath caught at the way ink seemed to spill across his eyes, infusing them with a darkness that threatened to swallow her whole. She ached for it—to be consumed by him. At least then, nothing would hurt. 

“Will you stay?” His voice was raw, and she sensed her answer had the power to heal him or break him. Permanently. “Will you stay with me, Rey?”

As if she could say no. As if he hadn’t raised her and loved her more than all the other people in the universe combined. 

_I belong to you_ as he kissed her thoroughly for the first time on the eve of her thirteenth birthday, his arms banded about her waist, big body pinning hers to the side of the house, the both of them lost in each other, in bliss, in shadows. 

“Yes,” she said simply. 

He finished peeling off his jeans and braced himself over her, his lips brushing her collarbone. She shivered and ached. “Do you promise?”

It was only fair of him to ask. She had proven herself a skilled escape artist. 

Rey brushed a loose curl of hair out of his inky eyes and cupped his cheek. “I promise, Ben. You’re all I want.”

His breath seemed to stutter in his chest then, and he spent an extra few seconds studying her face. There was only sincerity there, and he must’ve recognized it because he smiled and dipped down to kiss her mouth. She tilted her chin to capture his lips and deepen the kiss, licking his tongue and moaning when he gathered her close to his chest, his weight anchoring them to the bed. 

She spread her legs and wrapped them around his waist, heels digging into the backs of his thighs to bring him closer. Her pussy was drooling with arousal, and instead of catching at her entrance, Ben’s cock slipped straight through her folds like it knew exactly where to go. 

“ _Oh—oh—_ " Rey pushed her hips off the mattress, urging him deeper. Ben sank slowly inside her, groaning, eyes fluttering, as her pussy walls expanded and adjusted to his now-familiar girth. 

Ben kept his eyes on her face as he bottomed out, their hips flush, stomachs pressed flat. Rey let loose a soft, plaintive cry and dragged her fingers through his silky hair. 

“Love me,” she croaked, maddened by the intimacy. A quiet sob escaped, and she arched her back, pushing her breasts forward. “Love me, Daddy, _please_ love me—god, I—I _need_ you, I need—“

Ben made a soft, unraveled sound and rocked forward. Their hips sank into the mattress, and for a brief second Rey’s vision went white as pleasure curled through her. Her feet kicked, and she whined, low and long like a soft lullaby.

“Always,” he said, voice hushed. He kissed her forehead, her nose, both cheeks. “There is not a single moment you’ve been on this earth that I haven’t loved you, Rey.”

“I—I love you more,” she stammered, bracing herself as his hips began a torturous roll. His cock twitched, and she sighed happily. It was going to be another long, long night. 

Ben grunted and picked up the pace, his cock sliding messily in and out of her pussy. Her eyes rolled back when his teeth sank into her throat, and she bucked her hips, meeting him thrust for thrust. 

They set a perfect rhythm—mindless, but not too hurried, not rushed—and Rey squealed, toes curling, as her orgasm crested and soared through her. Ben pumped his way through it, mouth buried in her neck, close to her ear, so she could hear him clearly when he whispered, “I love you most, Rey. L-love you m— _f-fuck—_ " 

With a short, ragged cry, he came inside her, still stroking deep enough to drive her senseless with white-hot pleasure. Neither of them stopped rocking, not even when she came a second time and went limp. His cock bumped her clit, and she screamed shrilly. They would go again and again, and then once more, and many times after that. 

Throughout it all, Rey refused to let go. 

The bed creaked as they rocked together, hearts and minds intertwined. Rey wrapped herself around him and clung as if to a life preserver. Ben’s lips coasted from her throat to her mouth to her breasts, and he whispered soothing nonsense as they came down from one high and prepared to meet the next. 

This was it. Right here in Ben’s arms. All she had ever wanted, and he was going to give it to her on a silver platter. Because he loved her. Because she was meant for him. 

Because there was no universe where one existed without the other. 

Rey stroked a hand over his cheek and beamed when he playfully nipped her fingers and kissed her palm. She looked deep into his eyes and made him a promise that was more than a promise, more than an understanding or an acknowledgement.

It was infinite. Forever. 

“I belong to you,” she whispered, and gently kissed his petal-soft lips as they parted with something like wonder, like adoration, like need. 

And her heart sang it again and again.

_I belong, I belong, I belong._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **eep only one chap left! and there's a small time jump (just a wee one!!) 😬 also, I didn't include "pseudo incest" in the actual tags because it's a bit of a spoiler, I'll just be keeping the ones already up**
> 
> **in every universe Rey's parents are douchebags LOL**


	8. submerge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **why is this 78k LOL**
> 
> **this is much, much softer than intended but 😬 what can I say, they been thru sum shit**

** Two Months Later **

Through the glass walls of the elevator, Rey peered down at the bustling lobby. She couldn’t hear any noise through the thick glass, but there was a sense of urgency in the brisk, zig-zagging stride of business men and women as they crossed from hallway to hallway and disappeared behind tall doors with clients or co-workers. They wore suits and ties and shiny shoes on their feet. Important people with places to be.

Rey self-consciously adjusted her hoodie and stared at her reflection. Today’s fit was black leggings and one of Ben’s graphic t-shirts tied at the hip. Her hair was pulled up in a bouncy ponytail. Comfort, not fashion—that was the goal now. 

She hesitantly touched a bruised love bite on her collarbone. It didn’t hurt, but she’d forgotten it was there, black and blue and very obvious. Frowning, she tugged the collar of her shirt over the mark—an improvement, but only if she didn’t move her shoulder. Hopefully Dad wouldn’t notice.

 _Poe,_ she reminded herself sternly. _He’s Poe now, remember?_

Right.

Rey fiddled with her key as the elevator doors opened. A glance at the directory told her to take a right turn at the junction of the hallway. It only struck her as odd now—as she walked down gleaming corridors and smiled politely at women in spotless pantsuits and four-inch heels—that she had never visited him at work before. Poe had never offered, of course, and she… Well, she’d never been particularly interested. 

The receptionist outside his office was nowhere to be seen. It was lunchtime, which meant most of the employees were elsewhere. Dining out, most likely. They could afford it. But her father— _Poe_ —usually had a later lunch than most, so she figured she could catch him before he got too busy. 

Guilt clawed its way up her throat, and she hesitated at the door. Maybe she should’ve told him she planned to stop by. That was only fair—to give some kind of warning. He was constantly meeting clients and revising documents and whatever else fancy lawyers did. She used to hear about it all the time at home, how he barely had time to eat before he was being called away to handle an upset client or other tricky situation. 

But for the past few weeks she had been genuinely afraid Poe would tell her not to come at all, that he didn’t want to see her. She had sent an email a month ago asking for some very necessary papers, but she hadn't received a response. Her fear of further rejection had forced her to resort to subtler methods. Surprise attacks. Which still made her feel guilty, but in a way that was easier to handle. 

Steeling herself, Rey took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Without waiting for a response, she twisted the knob, not surprised to find it unlocked, and entered Poe’s office with her head held high. 

Huge mistake. 

She made it two feet past the threshold and stopped dead. All the color drained from her face like a switch had been flipped, and she clutched at the door. An immediate and overwhelming sense of regret threatened to unbalance her. 

Her father had a man bent over his desk. A man with short black hair and smooth dark skin, a man with his jeans pulled down to his knees and his shirt rucked up around his hips, a man who always teased her about the amount of hair products she used and the absurd number of purses she’d been gifted over the years. A man who, until a few weeks ago, had been one of her best friends in the world. 

A man who wasn’t really a man at all. 

Finn caught sight of her first, although it took several long seconds for her presence to be acknowledged. His eyes were squeezed shut as her father fucked him from behind, his hips pumping with a crazed sort of energy that scared her. Like Poe wanted to stuff himself inside him until they became one mind, one body, one person. 

Maybe she made a noise, or maybe he was just overwhelmed with pleasure, but Finn’s eyes snapped open so wide she could see the whites ringing his pupils from across the room. He gasped—a staggered, choked noise—which made Poe increase his pace, like he was determined to make Finn scream. 

_Oh my god._

Rey’s stomach shriveled, and she took a step back. She did not—would not—think about Finn and her father’s cock in the same sentence. 

Finn raised himself from the desk, upper body swaying in time with Poe’s thrusts, and his mouth gaped open. There was horror in his eyes, and fear, and something like pain. He said her name, and Poe’s own eyes opened, but slowly, like he was reluctantly emerging from a dream. 

But then he saw Rey and went instantly, terrifyingly still. 

Rey clutched the strap of her purse, face blank, and said, “I’ll—I’ll just wait—” She stumbled on numb legs out of her father’s office. Somehow she managed to close the door behind her without slamming it, which was somewhat of a relief. The noise might draw people, and if she had to speak to anyone right now, she would scream until her throat tore itself apart. 

Immediately, her mind latched on to her safe space and drew it around her like a weighted blanket. An island. Coconuts. Palm trees. Ocean waves. Soft breeze. She built a wall around the things she’d witnessed, built it so high there was no climbing over, and stuffed it into a tiny box in the very back of her mind. Compartmentalize, Ben would suggest. So she did.

Rey took a seat on a bench in the main lobby, and she did not look up when her father found her there ten minutes later. He sat beside her, keeping as much distance between them as the bench allowed, and put his hands on his knees, as if bracing himself. She concentrated on breathing—coconuts, sand, ocean—and only when her heart returned to its normal pace did she raise her head. 

“The papers—“ she started calmly.

“I’m sorry you—had to see that.”

Rey didn’t acknowledge him. “I need the papers.”

Poe cleared his throat. “I have them in a folder in my office. Would you like to—"

“No.”

He nodded. “Can I ask why you need them?”

Rey’s jaw tightened, and she stared straight ahead at the receptionist’s desk across the expansive lobby. Ben had warned her Poe would fish for information. It was none of his business, but apparently he just couldn’t help himself. She wouldn’t be swayed into giving him any details. 

“You’re sure they’re all there?” Passport, birth certificate, last year’s school ID. 

“I’m sure.” Poe sighed and shook his head. “I understand if you don’t want to tell me—"

“Good.” 

Rey held herself stiffly. Letting her go into Poe’s place of work alone to retrieve her documentation had been a big deal for Ben, but in the end she wore him down. She needed the identification—she couldn’t go anywhere, overseas or otherwise, without them—and Ben was the last person her father would respond to, so it only made sense for her to meet him by herself. 

But Ben didn’t want her around Poe, let alone for them to hold a conversation, so she promised to be civil but distant. Which wasn’t particularly hard, now that she had seen what Poe was up to in his spare time. 

On company time, really. 

Poe lowered his voice. “Has he been treating you right?” Several seconds ticked by in silence. “Rey. I deserve to know that, at least.” 

_Do you?_ she wondered, lips pursed so tightly they ached. _Do you really deserve_ anything, _Dad?_

She turned her head and made eye contact with him for the first time since fleeing his office. He looked well. No thinner or thicker, dressed immaculately, eyes lightly shadowed but bright. 

Finn must be a good lay. 

“How’s Mom?” she asked challengingly. A wince threatened to break her composure. _It’s Kaydel,_ she scolded herself tightly. _Kaydel, not Mom._

Poe didn’t look away, but he did flinch. “She’s...handling it.”

 _It._ How vague. “Are you—" But here she struggled. Did she really want to know? She hadn’t seen either of her parents in two months. It was anyone’s guess what was going on in that house. 

“Go ahead.” Poe’s face went soft and kind, and she hated him for it. How dare he try to make things easier for her when he, a married man, was railing a high school kid, her _friend_ , in secret. 

“Are you getting a divorce?” she asked plainly, twisting a thin silver bracelet on her wrist. Another gift from Ben. He was constantly surprising her with new trinkets. Pretty much daily now. It was nice, but—overwhelming sometimes. 

Poe shook his head. “She doesn’t want to—make that decision.”

Rey was good at reading between the lines now. “But you do?”

He shot her a look, and she clenched her jaw and stared back. Right. Office, desk, Finn. Got it. 

His eyes dipped to her stomach. She resisted the urge to cross her arms. At seven weeks, there was a definite bump, and yet it could just as plausibly be weight gain. As long as you didn’t look too closely.

Poe’s breath hitched. “Are you—”

She shrugged and stared forward again. None of his business. He wasn’t the grandfather, after all. He was just some guy. 

“Rey,” he whispered hoarsely, and now he did move close, hands reaching tentatively for her own. She kept them in her lap, and he let his fall. “Christ. Please tell me you’re not—”

But he couldn’t say it. Rey felt an odd sense of satisfaction at that. If he couldn’t even acknowledge what was happening, he had no right to know the details. 

“I love him,” she said finally. “More than anyone.”

Poe choked and turned away. She didn’t care if he was crying, if he was horrified, if he was—whatever. At least she wasn’t a cheater. At least she wasn’t fucking someone at her place of work. At least _she_ knew that she wasn’t really his daughter.

Rey could see it now. Poe still had no idea that she wasn’t his kid. Kaydel hadn't told him, and she sure as hell wouldn’t be the one to break that illusion, either. 

It was for the best.

“The papers,” she reminded him, clutching her hands tightly in her lap. Her eyes drifted to the main doors of the building. Half an hour. That was all the time she had before a scene was made. 

Poe swallowed audibly and stood without a word. As soon as his back was turned, Rey looked at him. Memories flashed through her head—bedtimes, birthday parties, school projects, doctor’s appointments—and something small and fragile trembled in her heart. 

“Not your father,” she whispered. “Not anymore. Not ever.” 

She stole a glance at the [Omega Constellation](https://www.jomashop.com/omega-watch-12325246055005.html) on her other wrist. Six minutes. Hopefully Finn wouldn’t be too much of a distraction for her father. She didn’t have time to wait around while he and his boy toy went for round two. 

With only two minutes left on the clock, Rey sighed and rose to her feet. What a waste of a trip. She would have to find some other way to get the documents. There were still a few weeks before Ben had to make any final decisions, but it was best to get these small details out of the way. The realtor was a friend of Ben’s, but they could only stall for so long. 

“Rey.” 

She started in surprise, hand flying instinctively to her stomach. But it was just Poe. Carefully, choosing to ignore his bloodshot eyes, Rey accepted the proffered envelope.

“Thanks.” Relief pushed a smile to her lips. Not a waste, after all.

“I—uh—” Poe shuffled nervously, shoving his hands in his pockets. “It’s really good to see you, Rey.”

“Yeah,” she said. Not agreement, but an acknowledgment. Despite everything, it was good to see him too. “And here’s the house key.” 

She wouldn’t need it anymore. That house would never again be her home.

With a weak smile, Poe accepted the key and added softly, “Please let me know if you need anything.” His eyes darted to her stomach again, and his throat bobbed thickly. 

She resisted the urge to scowl and simply nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He reached for her, and Rey’s face crumpled. Just a little. But enough for him to embrace her fully, like he thought this might be the last time he would ever see her. She hugged him back, cheek pressed to his suit lapel. The familiar scent of his aftershave mixed with his cologne weakened her even more, and she suppressed a choked laugh. Only now, when she was really and truly growing up and away, did her father decide to pay attention to her life. 

“I’ll see you soon,” he croaked, arms tightening briefly before he shifted back. 

Rey’s smile was wobbly when she lied. “Yeah. See you.”

And before he could crack her heart even worse, she broke for the doors.

Outside, the fresh air cleared her mind. She inhaled the damp August air, reminded once more that classes would soon start. It was her junior year. Of course, there was no need for her to leave the house. Ben had enrolled her in an online course. _Alternative learning,_ he called it. So she could rest at home. If even that got too stressful, he would pull the plug on it too, which was totally fine with Rey—the less chemistry homework the better.

She spotted the Porsche in a handicapped spot at the front of the parking lot. Ben was pacing the sidewalk, one hand in his hair, the other flexing at his side. She paused a moment, resisting the urge to laugh. He looked so _frazzled_. Like a father-to-be outside a hospital delivery room. 

Maybe, she speculated softly, this was how he would look in seven months, pacing the corridors, near comatose with panic as he waited for Rey and their little one. 

But that was stupid. Obviously Ben would be in the room _with_ them. He wouldn’t allow anything less.

He caught sight of her when she was halfway across the street. A relieved expression exploded across his face, and he jogged to meet her. With a laugh, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek as he lifted her off the ground. 

“I was worried,” he said, nuzzling her forehead. 

“Oh, I couldn't tell!” She giggled and kissed him, his lips soft and warm on her own. Even now, she tingled at the thought of what those lips could do. 

“Got everything?”

“Yep!” she chirped, playfully hitting the back of his head with the envelope. “Easy peasy.”

“Mm.” Ben gazed at her, examining her face for signs of distress. “Lemon squeezy?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Dr. Rhyme. It’s all in there.”

He carried her across the lot to the Porsche and leaned back against the passenger door. She settled her chin in the crook of his neck and sighed. Now that she was showing, Ben insisted on carrying her everywhere. Didn’t matter if it was down the driveway or up three flights of stairs. _I need you safe and happy,_ he always said. _Both of you._

“I’m glad you came out when you did,” he murmured, kissing her temple. “I was just about to bulldoze my way inside to go find you.”

“Make a scene,” she muttered scoldingly, and he laughed.

“That’s right.” He quietly inhaled the scent of her hair. Strawberry shampoo. His favorite. “You know I get anxious when you’re gone too long.”

“I know,” she whispered, kissing the small mole on his neck. “You’re so nervous.”

“Can’t help it.” When he shrugged, she rose and fell with the motion. “You’re my life now.”

She blushed and traced a finger across the seam of his lips, which parted at her touch. “Matthew?”

He scowled and nipped at her finger. “Absolutely not. Way too traditional.” He watched her for a moment, thinking. “Luke?”

“Mm, that’s _okay_ , but—" She scrunched her nose. “Hunter?”

“Stephen.”

“Alec.”

“Othello.”

Rey burst into laughter. “Are you kidding? Do you want him to be teased his whole life?”

He shrugged, acting put-out, and she kissed the corner of his mouth. “Not Othello.”

“Harry?”

“Well,” she considered, “that could—"

“Harry Potter?”

She smacked his shoulder. “Now you’re just being silly.”

Ben laughed and dipped his mouth to her neck, nibbling the tender skin until she squealed and begged him to quit it. He settled her in the passenger seat, dropping a kiss on her head as he clicked in the belt, and gently shut the door.

Neither of them would ever say it out loud, but they both desperately wanted a son. A rosy-cheeked little boy with green eyes and black hair, chubby fists waving when he wanted food, excited feet kicking when he wanted attention. Overalls and dinosaurs and Hot Wheels and stuffed frogs. Rey would sometimes stay awake for hours at night, imagining all the things she wanted to do with her baby boy. 

Hunter and Luke and Othello were part of a game they played. She wanted a unique name, but not one that would get him ostracized or ridiculed. Something strong and masculine and memorable. She and Ben shouted names to each other across the house, whispered them to each other in the dead of night, flung them like clumsy darts in the midst of a light argument. So far, none of the names had stuck.

Once they were cruising along on the highway, with Ben’s hand curved possessively on her belly, she told him about Finn. The two of them had some rules in place, and one of those rules was absolutely _no_ secrets between them. Rey didn’t have a problem sharing anything and everything with him. Ben was the only person she talked to on a regular basis, anyway. Her only confidante. 

“That fucking prick,” he muttered, teeth grinding. “And my sister knows he’s cheating but refuses to leave him?”

Rey fiddled with the radio controls. “That’s what he said.”

Ben grumbled under his breath. He had always been protective of his older sister, but recently Rey had noticed a certain sourness whenever she brought up Kaydel. Like his irritation with her was overriding any affection that might’ve survived over the years. 

“Such a mess,” he sighed, and shot her a sideways glance. “How do you feel about it?”

She finally settled on a Top 40 station and shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s—not something I really think about, I guess.” Then, bravely, “They’re not even my parents, right? So who cares.”

But the words wavered, and she hastily swallowed before she made any embarrassing noises. 

Ben lightly patted her stomach and tweaked her nose. “I know.”

She batted his hand away. “I’m not a puppy! How would you like it if I—" She reached over the center console and poked his nose. He gasped dramatically and covered it with his hand.

“How _dare_ you!” She giggled and started to withdraw her hand, but he caught it and pulled it to his chest. “Rey.”

“Yes….” 

He smiled. “I love you.”

“My daily reminder!” she sang, wiggling in her seat. 

Ben growled and kissed her knuckles. “I love you and I love you, and the more you resist—" He tugged on her hand. “The more I’ll shout it from the rooftops.You want to know why? Because I love—”

“Fine!” she conceded, still laughing. “I love you too!” 

He settled then, attention drifting back to the road. “I know you do, even if I have to drag it out of you sometimes.”

She stuck out her tongue. “Well, not everyone’s as clingy as you, Ben.”

“It’s part of my personality,” he said with a shrug. He was silent, but Rey could tell he had something more to say. “Did he mention anything?” 

“Who?” Oh. Wait. “Poe?” 

He hummed and flicked on his turn signal.

“Like what?” she asked, exasperated. Ben was weirdly obsessed with Poe, but she understood it was only because of Poe’s role in her life. Well, former role. As her father. Which was something Ben really resented. 

He shot a pointed look at her protruding belly. 

Rey rolled her eyes and groaned. “Dad doesn’t care. I mean Poe,” she amended quickly, not wanting to upset him. 

Too late. The grip on her hand tightened, but not very hard. He was extra careful now when touching her. The sex was still rough, but no longer violent, which was kind of a shame—Rey had grown partial to his feral side. 

She rubbed the side of her head. The whole Dad thing was a bit of a gray area. _Daddy_ was meant exclusively for Ben, of course, but they were still navigating the other names. 

Ever since their doctor confirmed her pregnancy with an ultrasound, Ben’s mood had shifted. He was ecstatic morning, afternoon, and night. No more complains about waiting for graduation or her eighteenth birthday. He always woke her with kisses and breakfast in bed. They ate lunch and dinner together, too, and now that he worked primarily from home, she could sit in his lap or cuddle under his arm while he made calls and responded to clients via email or whatever. They liked to shower at the same time, although lately she had been taking baths instead because Ben didn’t want her on her feet any more than necessary. 

He had already drawn up plans for a nursery: a handcrafted crib with matching bureau and changing table, a rocking chair outfitted with bottle holders, and a plush sofa with ample room for snuggling. Even small details like how much space on a shelf for storybooks and stuffed animals or the amount of closet space for winter/fall and summer/spring clothes didn't escape him. 

Sometimes she would sit in his lap and watch him arrange and rearrange the layout of the baby’s room on his interactive 3D design platform. Watching him work was mesmerizing, and more than once she had dozed off thinking of Ben and her baby cuddling in the rocking chair, fairytale picture book in hand. The image always made her heart clench painfully with so much love she was afraid it would boil over and drown her. Love, she had learned, was as much freeing as it was suffocating. 

Ben was all she had now. He often told her that she was his whole world, but little did he know Rey felt the same about him. 

For example, she still updated her Twitter and Instagram accounts, but it wasn’t as fun anymore since she couldn’t post about her baby, and her follower count had been dropping rapidly. Ben said not to mention it anywhere online until she turned eighteen, which was a huge bummer. She hated keeping secrets, especially when she knew she could get a lot of likes for them. 

But she would be seventeen in two more months, and once the baby was born, time would fly _really_ fast, and then she could post whatever she wanted! She was already imagining baby photoshoots and cute DIY projects.

“So Poe didn’t tell you anything?” 

Rey blinked back to the present. “Um, he said to call him if I needed stuff, but—"

Ben growled, but this time it wasn’t a playful noise. “We don’t need anything from that man. I can take care of you perfectly fine—”

She made a soft, soothing noise and squeezed his hand. “I know, Ben. I don’t need anyone but you.”

He relaxed at the reminder, although she noticed the tension in his shoulders. These days he was— _happy_ , yes—but definitely not _calm_. 

He was such a worrywort, and it made her feel guilty. It wasn’t like she was constantly tripping over things or losing her balance walking down the stairs. She was totally fine, but for some reason he was convinced that she would hurt herself as soon as his back was turned.

“I’ve scheduled another gyno appointment for Friday,” he said suddenly. 

She scowled. That was one part of pregnancy she hated so far—the constant doctor appointments. It was super inconvenient because they had to go to all new people, ones who didn’t know their family connection. It was a forty-five minute drive both ways, and being in a car so long with Ben, who was always hypervigilant in case of an impending accident, was honestly kind of stressful. 

Good thing she knew how to make him relax.

“Okay!” she chirped, and when she tugged lightly on her hand, still pinned to his chest, Ben let her go. Reluctantly, but he did.

She dropped her hand to his lap with a coy smile and unzipped his jeans one-handed. This was a matter of pride for her. She was becoming an expert at undressing him in unusual places—grocery store bathrooms, strip malls, the garage, Home Depot. Nobody had ever told her that pregnancy made a girl _majorly_ horny. 

“Rey…” he said warningly.

“What?” She pouted, widening her eyes, and lifted his cock free. “I won’t distract you, Ben. Promise.”

“I need to concentrate on the road. It’s not _sa-fe—_ ” He grunted as she gently rubbed the pad of her thumb over the plush head of his cock. It was warm and wet. “—for you and the baby,” he finished through gritted teeth. His hands flexed on the steering wheel, and his jaw jutted forward like he was steeling himself. 

Rey worked her hand up and down his shaft, smearing it with his pre-cum for an easier grip. But the coating wasn’t quite enough—she had caught him by surprise—so she spit in her hand and tried again, twisting her fingers in tight spirals. He made a garbled noise and shifted his hips. 

Ah. Much better. 

There was still twenty minutes until they arrived home, and she could definitely get him to cum twice in that time, so she slid her phone from the cup holder and opened up Instagram. Ben’s attention was caught between the road and the handjob, so he wouldn’t notice for a while. Probably. 

Vacation photos filled her Insta-feed. Europe, Brazil, Australia, the Great Wall, Caribbean beaches, the Eiffel Tower, Niagara Falls. Extravagant food displays from all over the world. Bazine and her parents were in London now. She kept tagging Harry Styles in her posts, which was super funny. As if he had any time for a snooty sixteen year old. 

Rey scrolled past graduation photos and country bonfires, scrolled and scrolled—

—and paused.

Oh. Rey noted with a distant sort of sadness that Rose was hanging out pretty regularly with a new girl in their year, Jannah. She clicked on Rose’s profile and swallowed back a mouthful of bile. There were pictures of them at the mall, shopping at Forever21 and the Coach store. Rose had a big family, and there were several selfies from a beach party last month. Jannah was a pretty girl, big eyes and a loud, gap-toothed smile. Skinny, Rey noted smugly, but not as skinny as her. 

But she _did_ have a nice car. Rey tried not to be jealous at the fact that she already had her license. In fact, most people in their year were taking the driving test or at least finishing their mandatory six hours. Rey had been scheduled sometime in late July with a private driving school, but that all changed when the pregnancy test came back positive. That appointment had promptly been canceled and refunded. She wouldn’t be able to drive for a while—Ben said it wasn’t safe. 

With a sigh, Rey clicked out of the app and pocketed her phone. She increased the rhythm of her hand, pumping in short, fast strokes until Ben’s back straightened and air hissed through his teeth—the signs of an impending orgasm. Instead of leaning over, she cupped her hand over the plushy head and pressed down. The one time Rey had thought to put her mouth on his cock to swallow his cum—you know, so it wouldn’t splatter everywhere, she was just being considerate—Ben had slammed on the brakes in the middle of a deserted intersection and refused to move until she buckled herself back up. She had only been two weeks along at that point, but Ben was already twitchy with nerves. 

They coasted into the driveway, and Ben shifted to **PARK**. She quickly unbuckled her seatbelt and smothered his cock with her mouth before he climaxed. He grunted and bumped his hips, forcing it farther down her throat, the thick head nudging her gag reflex, and when cum spurted she barely had to swallow at all. He rubbed her back and then her ass as she licked him clean, occasionally making obnoxious smacking noises that startled him into laughter. She finally waggled her butt and sat upright, staring at him with a big, innocent grin.

“Good, Daddy?”

“Very good.” He kissed the corner of her slick mouth. “But you know that.”

She hummed her assent and helped him back into his jeans. Of course she knew—since day one, Ben had loved to listen to her gargle and choke on his cock, and although it took her quite a while to look past The Umbrella Incident, Rey eventually learned to love giving head. He often praised her for being a natural. 

“You take my cock so well, don’t you?” he would say, and she would blush and look down, thrilled to finally be an expert at something. 

As soon as they entered the house, Ben’s phone started ringing. With a groan and a swift forehead kiss, he was off, bounding upstairs to his home office before whoever it was on the other end started making demands. 

Rey absentmindedly rubbed her belly as she stared around at the house. There were brown cardboard boxes neatly lined up along the walls from one end of the living room to the other. Boxes in the kitchen, on the stairs, in the hallway on the second floor. Ben was far from a hoarder—in fact, most of his style could be summed up in two words: accidental minimalism—and yet even so, it was taking forever to pack up the house. 

Thankfully, they weren’t in any rush. Well, they kind of were, but only if you asked Ben. He wanted to be out before the end of September, which seemed relatively feasible at the rate they were going. He didn’t want her to be stressed later on in the pregnancy because it might harm the baby. (Rey was starting to realize that in his mind literally _anything_ could harm the baby, even a cotton ball.) He had his eye on several locations in Southern California, hours and hours away, which was why she needed that envelope of identifying documents from her parents: there was no telling when—or if—they’d ever be back.

But Poe and Kaydel didn’t need to know any of that. They didn’t deserve the specifics, the details, anything. Her life was her own now. 

Rey poured a glass of iced tea and perched on the window seat in the kitchen. The patio furniture was already packed away in a storage unit, which was a shame. She loved sitting outside under the sun, feeling the warm breeze on her skin, laughing as a lady bug or beetle crawled over her hand and up her sleeve. In fact, they often put the sofa to good use: she would ride Ben, his arms stretched across the back of the sofa, head tilted to the sun as she rolled her hips and moaned his name, both of them in nothing but their underwear. They favored outside sex most of all, and at least twice a week Ben would drive them to the park to look for new, secluded spots where they could make love. 

She sipped at her tea. That really was an odd term, wasn't it? _Make love._ It suggested they didn’t already do that in a thousand different ways throughout the course of a day. When Ben caressed her cheek, he made love to her. When he cooked dinner and went with her to a gyno appointment and cleaned her bump with a soft washcloth in the master bath, he made love to her. In fact, there really wasn’t a moment they were together when they weren’t somehow, someway making love. 

Her gaze drifted to the fridge where The List was stuck with a magnet. She frowned, squinted, and rose laboriously from her seat. Sure enough, there was a checkmark missing next to one of the tasks, so she went in search of a pen. 

It was necessary, Ben had explained to her as he drafted the first List, that she follow certain rules during her pregnancy. The sheet of notepaper hung from the fridge as a reminder—so she would see it everyday after waking. The fridge was a visible spot, and half the tasks on The List were meant to be done in the kitchen anyway. 

As soon as she finished one, she could mark it off, and if she completed all the tasks for the day, Ben would surprise her with another gift. Usually it was something sex-related, which she didn’t mind because she was _so_ freaking horny now, but just as often it was clothing or jewelry or a fancy dinner date in the next town over. He liked to pick what she wore because he wanted to see her in revealing dresses that showed off her belly. All the men usually stared at her when they arrived at Barnucci’s or Viva’s Steakhouse or whatever restaurant they chose that day, which always made Ben happy. 

With a smug grin, he would pull her to his side and murmur, “Look how jealous they are, baby. They know you’re mine.”

And she would blush and roll her eyes, but Ben’s possessiveness secretly turned her on—not that it was especially difficult, as most things did these days. They hardly ever made it through a meal before she was dragging him to the bathroom and sinking to her knees, mouth open, eyes wide. 

Unfortunately, today’s List was only half finished. It was titled **FIRST TRIMESTER.** She checked off

✅ Prenatal Vitamins  
✅ 3 Cups Vegetables  
✅ 2 Cups Fruit  
✅ Blood Pressure  
✅ Schedule Next Week’s Dr. Appt.  
✅ 20 Minutes Yoga

There were quite a few left that were nowhere near done, like

🔲 10 Cups Water (She’d only had four.)  
🔲 20 Minutes Light Exercise (In her mind the yoga should be enough, but Ben insisted she needed to walk too.)

The water goal wasn’t a big deal, really, but exercise was an issue. She was only allowed on the treadmill under Ben’s supervision, so finding times when they were _both_ available was difficult. He also tended to hover, which was distracting—she could hardly walk a straight line when he was constantly extending his arms, like he expected her to fall at any second. 

One day last week, during a heated argument in which Rey refused to get on the treadmill when he was in the room because he was being quote-unquote _stupidly overbearing_ , something in Ben had cracked. She saw it happen. His face crumpled, and he staggered into her as if drunk. When she wrapped her arms around his waist, alarmed, he had ducked his head and pressed it firmly into her neck. 

“I can’t lose you,” he’d whispered. “I can’t, Rey. The baby is one thing—it’s like a blueberry at this point—but you—if something happened to _you_ —” And he had stopped talking. 

Oh. 

From then on she’d stopped complaining, stopped requesting he _chill out_ , and at the end of every session, Rey would slip into Ben’s arms and promise him that she was okay, she wasn’t going anywhere, she loved him. And he would nod and kiss her back and help peel her out of her sweaty gym clothes, and the next time she stepped on the treadmill, pink Nikes on and her phone safely out of reach, the expression on his face would be just a little less terrified. 

Rey set the pen aside and wandered into the living room, banishing thoughts of The List from her mind. No gold stars today. 

Her eyes immediately lit on a small pack of pacifiers, gaze drawn to them as if by a special kind of gravity. She eyed them before slowly picking one up. Ben had bought them for the baby, of course, but she had opened them early on in her pregnancy out of a mix of boredom and curiosity. 

Kaydel once told her that as a baby she loved to suck on things—any semi-soft and semi-small object she could get her tiny hands on—and at one point her parents had accidentally collected nearly _thirty_ pacifiers from spots around the house. 

So, not really thinking about it, Rey had shrugged and popped one in her mouth. 

And holy crap—she liked it so much that if Ben was unavailable, which he often was during the workweek, she would suck on a pacifier instead of his fingers. The whole thing was kind of embarrassing, but for some reason the repeated motion was soothing, and it often managed to calm her anxiety about—horror of horrors—childbirth. 

When Ben found out she had a “thing” for pacifiers, he had been really pleased and even encouraged her to suck on one while he fucked her from behind. It kept her quiet, he said, and he liked calling her Daddy’s little girl while she sucked and mewled. Which she thought was _super_ hot, but that could just be the hormones talking again. 

“Rey?” Ben’s voice drifted down the hallway, interrupting her thoughts. A second later, he called, “Hey, baby, can you come up here?”

Setting aside her iced tea, Rey eyed the pacifiers—there were four in a pack, but one was already missing and a second had broken when she bit down too hard—and decided to ask Ben for more. At least two more packs, or maybe—maybe three. She didn’t think he’d say no. But she should probably hold her belly while she did it, just in case he needed extra convincing. 

Satisfied with this decision, she flounced into their bedroom, sucking on a bright yellow pacifier that matched her shorts. (Like any accessory, it had to coordinate.) Ben was hovering over something on the bed, but he turned and smiled when she drew close.

“Hi, sweetness.” He cuddled her close, kIssing the top of her head. “I see you found another binkie.”

She nodded enthusiastically and pointed at the bed. There was a wrapped present. It had been several days since she’d managed to check off all her tasks on The List, so she couldn’t imagine what this was for.

Then again, he hardly needed a reason.

“For you.” Ben gestured for her to go ahead, and she eagerly climbed on the bed to snatch up the box. She almost shook it—sometimes that really did give it away—but realized that it was too heavy. Couldn’t be a book or bag, either—not enough heft. Clothes didn’t weigh so much, but maybe jewelry—?

Rey tore off the glittery wrapping paper and gasped. She looked up at Ben, who was grinning smugly. The pacifier fell from her mouth, and she squealed, “A MacBook Pro?!” 

“2021. Hot off the press.” He winked and opened his arms in a grandiose gesture that made her giggle. “Let’s just say I know some people.” 

This generation was still technically marked as unreleased. _Nobody_ had one of these yet. Release date was still three months away. Holy crap! 

Rey laughed and clutched the sleek box to her chest. “Oh my god. This is—”

But she shook her head. Overwhelming didn’t even begin to cover it. In the past two months alone, Ben had already replaced her iPhone X4 with a new model set to be released at Christmas, and he had also bought her wireless headphones, a gleaming new tablet, a Nintendo Switch, two gaming consoles, and a Kindle Paperwhite. She didn’t understand why he was obsessed with giving her things, but she always, always said yes. 

All of these devices had FamiSafe apps downloaded and locked in so he could track her location whenever he pleased, but Rey had made her peace with that. If it made him less anxious to watch a beeping GPS dot on his computer whenever she was out of his sight, then so be it. 

Besides, he only had to say one thing to convince her: “It’s for the safety of you and the baby.”

How could she argue with that? 

“Thank you, Daddy,” Rey whispered, lower lip trembling as a wave of emotion washed over her. All she had to do was blink big, teary eyes, and he was moving forward without a second’s hesitation. 

She reached for him as he reached for her, and when he pulled her close, arms hugging her to his chest, the laptop sliding to the ottoman at the end of the bed, she was crying. 

Fucking hormones. 

“You’re s-so _nice_ to me. I d-don’t know w-what to do to—to—”

“No, baby, no,” Ben cooed, shushing her gently, running his hands up and down her arms, trying to warm her up. “Don’t ever think you have to give me something. I already have everything I need. Right here.”

He kissed her nose and cheeks and mouth, and his hand drifted lower to press lightly on her bump. She put her hand over his and breathed deeply, reminding herself that this baby was _theirs_. No one could take that away. She wouldn’t let them, and Ben would protect them both with his life. 

“You picked me,” he reminded her in a low voice. “When you had unlimited options, you chose me, Rey. I’m so fucking thankful for you. You know that, don’t you?”

She nodded against his chest, sniffling. 

“If I had to do it all over again to get to this point—to get to you and me and the baby we made together—I would, in a heartbeat. This is what I’ve always wanted.” Ben cradled her cheek in his hand and stared at her intensely. “You are all I’ve wanted, Rey. From the very beginning. Just you.” 

“Just me,” she whispered, gazing back at him. 

“I love you,” he breathed, and his mouth found her throat. 

“I love you more,” she said, and her heart expanded because she knew this game too. 

“I love you most.” 

Rey clung to him fiercely and kissed him until they were both breathless and aching. Her body throbbed and pulsed, and when she rubbed herself on his thigh, Ben rose above her on an elbow and laid a hand on her throat. 

“Right now,” he said, eyes burning.

“It won’t hurt the baby?” she asked, stroking her stomach. Every time, without fault, she asked, and every time, he reassured her.

“No, sweetheart,” Ben said softly, maneuvering her onto her hands and knees. He peeled off her clothes, pausing a moment to sniff her panties, before undressing himself with a few quick snaps of his wrist. His finger traced the length of her slit, dripping and aching and so, so sensitive. “Besides, don’t you want him to know how much Daddy loves Mommy?”

Rey nodded, softening at the mention of a baby boy. God, she wanted a boy _so_ badly. Far too often she found herself daydreaming about little suspenders and toy trucks and snuggle time. Her heart ached at the vision, and she promised to make it happen no matter what. Even if it meant having another baby right away, like Ben wanted. 

He positioned himself on top of her, chest pressing on her back, arms bracketing her shoulders. Kissing the crown of her head, he rocked forward, his cock slipping easily through her folds. She was usually sopping wet _all_ the time now, and Ben never hesitated to take full advantage of that. 

He groaned as he sunk straight to the hilt, his head pressing hard to the back of her neck. “Fuck. Can’t fucking believe this pussy’s mine.”

“Oh, Daddy,” she sighed, arching her back so he could slide deep, deeper, all the way. 

“Tell me, baby. Tell Daddy.” 

“You—make me f-feel—" She moaned as he stroked out and in, the drag of his cock like a shock to the system. 

“How do I make you feel? Hm?” Ben gently bit her shoulder and held himself still as she pushed back against him, demanding, craving that familiar friction. His voice lowered to a growl. “How do I make you _feel_ , Rey?” 

“Like— _ah!_ ” He stroked down deep, and Rey’s spine arched, her ass lifting to meet him. He buried himself in her pussy again and again, no pauses in between, his body slamming hers into the mattress. Even in his frenzy, he was still careful to keep her hips raised and her belly in the air. 

_Like I matter_. The words rang in her head like a bell. He made her feel like she _mattered._ Like her parentage meant nothing. Whether she came from drug addicts or selfish upper-class socialites made no difference to him. She was Rey. Just Rey.

And she belonged to him. 

She whined and rolled her hips, her head hanging low as she fucked herself on his cock. It felt good like this—to be tucked under him, his big body caging hers to the mattress, preventing escape, preventing harm. She always _wanted_ to stay but sometimes found it too tempting to leave, explore, go off on her own for a little while. Thankfully, he was there to draw her back in, keep her anchored in place, by his side, in his arms, beneath him, where she belonged. 

Even as a kid, Rey had always secretly preferred Ben’s hugs to those of her parents. When he touched her, there was something beyond comfort, beyond safety, beyond even love in those hugs. It was like he knew her, inside and out, like somehow, they were two bodies, one soul. Rey didn’t know if she believed in soulmates or not—the idea _sounded_ cool—but she did know that some people were meant to be, and nothing—not age or distance or station or background—could change that. 

_Like I matter._ Yes, that was it exactly. 

Ben slipped a hand between her legs and pressed a finger to her clit. She gasped in a sharp breath and trembled as he rubbed with slow, agonizing patience. 

“You know the rule, baby. Daddy can’t cum until you do.”

She squeaked and thrashed beneath him, trying to egg him on, to force him to go faster, but he was entirely unmoved. In desperation, she slammed her hips back, clenching around his cock and fisting the bed sheets as a tremor rolled through her. 

“ _Please,_ Daddy, faster,” she begged, hiccuping on a sob. “I just—I need—“

“Use your words, Rey,” Ben ordered, leaning heavily on her shoulders. He loved the act of pinning her down. “I can’t help you if you don’t use your words.”

Rey sobbed into the mattress as he stroked her clit and fucked her lazily from behind, mounted on her like a big, feral beast, his teeth grazing the skin of her throat and sending shivers through her body—little icy shocks that set her nerves on fire. 

He was doing this on purpose—driving her mad with want, with need, with pleasure—because he was determined to show her that he loved her more and most and best. That was what he believed, anyway. Ben always said that his love for her was unrivaled. She loved him, yes, he understood that, but his love was beyond words, beyond her comprehension.

She found that a little insulting.

“Ben—Daddy—fuck me, _please_ fuck me—“ She started to cry in earnest when his finger paused on her clit.

“Fuck what, honey? Hm?” he probed, nuzzling the side of her head. “Tell me.”

“My pussy,” she cried, “fuck my pussy, Daddy—”

“Well,” Ben grunted, and with one swift stroke he withdrew and flipped her onto her back. “Why didn’t you just say so, baby?”

Rey spat a vicious curse, but he simply laughed and pushed her legs wide. He cocked his head and stared at her pussy for a long moment, just like he used to when they first started having sex at the beginning of the summer. Like the sight was both very welcome and yet inexplicably dazzling. 

“This pussy,” Ben said slowly, tongue thick and slurry like he’d been drinking. “Who owns this pussy, Rey?”

“You do, Daddy,” she whimpered, struggling to catch her breath. He was so _rough_ with her, and yet somehow just gentle enough too, now that their baby was growing in her belly. _Little more than a blueberry,_ she thought, and smiled. _My blueberry._

“That’s right.” Ben bent and stuffed his head between her legs. She made a surprised _oh!_ and squirmed when his tongue licked up her slit. The contact made a wet slurping that sent her back arching automatically. Jesus _Christ_ , that was good. She wanted it sloppy and messy and rough. She wanted him to kiss her hard on the mouth while he fucked the hole between her legs. She wanted and wanted and _wanted._ It was unfair, frankly, how much he made her want.

“You taste…” Ben trailed off and simply stared down at her, eyes glazed, cum glistening on his lips. 

“How do I taste, Daddy?” she asked coyly, biting her lip. Her hand slid over the bump of her stomach and coasted between her legs. Oh wow. It was _very_ sticky down there. 

His eyes went black, and he caught her hand in a viselike grip. “What do you think you’re doing?”

She glared, pouty and upset. “I told you, Daddy, I need to cum. I need to cum _so bad_ , Daddy—“ 

He snapped at her to be quiet and cupped her hips, drawing her beneath him. She resisted a smug smile. One of the many benefits of having sex several times a day for weeks on end was the ability to recognize your partner’s weaknesses. Ben’s weakness, as in all things, was her, and he despised the idea of anyone else giving her pleasure—even if it was by her own hand. 

He nudged the head of his cock inside her pussy and braced a hand on her waist to keep her still. Smart man. She was _this_ close to dragging him down on top of her, baby bump be damned, and he probably sensed that. 

“Daddy’s going to give you want you deserve,” he said, spreading a hand across the bed sheets. “But first—“

He grabbed hold of her pacifier and held it in front of her lips. “Open wide, baby.”

Ben set the pacifier gently in her mouth, and she immediately set to sucking, eyes closing as a wave of warmth washed over her. This was exactly what she needed to calm down. Ben liked to rile her up sometimes, and she always fell right into the trap. Every damn time, without fail. For Ben, this was foreplay. For her, it was simply frustrating. 

“Christ, look at you,” Ben laughed, running a hand through his thick hair. “I used to dream about this, you know. When my sister kept me away all those years. I would get so fucking hard thinking about your little girl pussy. Your rosy tits and cute ass.” He swallowed heavily. “God, how I wanted to put a bump in that tiny belly.” 

“Your bump, Daddy,” she mumbled, but because of the pacifier it was little more than an incomprehensible garble. "Your baby."

Still, he smiled down at her, eyes going soft and adoring. “Now everywhere we go, people will see, sweetness. They’ll know Daddy poured his seed inside your sloppy wet hole and made you his.” 

She hummed and kicked her feet, aching for his cock—to be filled, stuffed, to overflowing. Impatient, she reached for him, fingers opening and closing. It was an echo from her childhood; she remembered tickle fights on her bed at night as a kid: _Grabby hands, grabby hands!_ Ben, her babysitter and best friend, would stuff her little fingers into his mouth with a playful growl and pretend to nibble, which set her laughing uncontrollably. They would roll around on the bed, getting tangled in the sheets, kissing and biting and shrieking. 

“Daddy’s made you wait long enough, hasn’t he?” Ben pouted teasingly. “Mean Daddy.”

She nodded and frowned, still grasping. Sometimes she believed that was how she’d lived half her life—reaching for him. 

Ben rocked forward, driving himself so deep he was seated inside her at once. She huffed, fingers twitching on the sheets, and rolled her hips. Moaning, she managed a long and garbled “ _Da-dee_ ” around the pacifier. He pressed a hand lightly on her sloping belly, grunting with the force of his thrusts. 

“Gonna put a baby in you every year,” he rasped, smacking his hips into hers. She twisted her head to the side and fisted the sheets. “Make you drink my cum, baby, make you fucking sleep in it.”

She shrieked wordlessly as the first orgasm hit, and he fucked her through it, snarling, “Cover you in cum, smear it on your tits—”

He tweaked a nipple and she convulsed, whining and batting at his arm. Her breasts were super sensitive and achy this early in the pregnancy. _Too much, too much!_ But this was Ben’s favorite part. He loved to see her fall to pieces. 

“ _Yes, yes, yes,_ ” she chanted, pacifier slipping from her mouth. “Faster, Daddy! Faster and faster and _harder_ —”

“Oh, Daddy’s gonna fuck you hard, baby,” he promised darkly, snapping his hips forward. “Fuck you— _so_ — _hard_ —”

He grunted as she climaxed again, screaming so loudly she felt the vibration in her vocal cords. Her eyes were screwed shut, but as soon as she could think again, she blinked and zeroed in on Ben. His cheeks were red, flushed with exertion, and a trickle of sweat rolled down his abdomen. Every muscle in his arms and chest stood out in sharp relief as he used them to pummel her into the mattress. 

“ _Harder_ ,” she demanded, and he scooped her into his arms, curving over her stomach, and thrust so fast she couldn’t tell one stroke from the next. 

Her head bobbed, breasts jiggling as the bed shook in its frame, headboard clapping, side tables rattling. Rey dragged her nails over his shoulders and down his back, digging in until she felt skin break, and even then it wasn’t enough, even then she wanted him deeper, so deep they couldn’t tell each other apart, so deep she could feel him in every empty corner, every lonely space—

Rey screamed again, spine curving off the bed, toes curling, as a third orgasm hit, and this one seemed to go on and on and on, endless and insane and beautiful, all at the same time. Ben released a short, gruff cry and came too, warm, sticky cum flooding through her, filling her, stuffing her, just as she wanted. Cum squelched between them, splattering their thighs, pooling on the sheets, her pussy coated and drooling with his seed. 

If she hadn’t been pregnant before, this would’ve surely sealed the deal. 

“Rey,” he croaked, resting his forehead on hers as they rocked through the aftershocks. She trembled at the force of her orgasm, vision still too bright, arms and legs gone liquid. “My Rey, my Rey.” 

“Yours,” she managed breathlessly. 

Ben licked his lips, panting. “Should’ve gotten you pregnant right away, huh? You were right all along, sweetness. This is—something else—"

She laughed, and he did too. And when they rose from the bed some time later, he carried her into the shower, murmuring her name like it was the only word he knew. And when he ran his fingers through her hair, rubbing strawberry shampoo and lavender conditioner into her scalp, he kissed her forehead and her nose and the slight curve of her belly. He kissed her between the legs until he found his way inside her again, and they both screamed with such intensity, such blistering need, they nearly shattered the windows. 

And when they finally made their way to the kitchen sometime after sunset, when the sky was shaded black and blue with just a thread of silver moonlight, Ben flicked on the oven timer and folded his arms around her waist as she tried her best to make a salad. And when he teased her for dumping in half a box of croutons, and she pretended to bite his nose, they laughed because it was somehow silly and fun and _normal._

And when Ben cupped her jaw in his big hands and gazed at her face, when he brushed the pads of his thumbs over her cheekbones and licked his lips, when he murmured, “I love you more and most and best,” Rey believed him. 

And, with a smile like sunshine, she whispered, “I belong to you” at the same time he did, which was his first time saying it, but definitely not his last. 

And they laughed, and they held each other close, and when Rey kissed his bicep and he kissed her throat, she understood that this was it. This was her forever. And in this forever, she was loved so fiercely, with such total, all-consuming passion, that she would never again be alone. 

All those months ago, when they quietly, peacefully sank to the bottom of her parents’ pool, when the last of their oxygen inevitably ran out as they hung suspended, submerged in the silent depths, Rey knew that they would rise to the surface together. Because in the end, their love was unconquerable, and nobody could take that away from them.

In the end, their love was then and now and always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **and that is it! definitely never thought my simple oneshot would ever get this huge lol. thank you for coming on this journey with me, everyone! this was my biggest foray into darkfic and kinks, and I’m excited to continue learning/writing more 😬✊🏻**
> 
> **OTHER WORKS**
> 
> Fluff
> 
> [Saving What We Love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23328586) (complete)  
> [#dirtytextchallenge](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25771213) (oneshot)  
> [The Artist's Garden At Giverny (1900)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24307039) (oneshot)  
> [Steal My Heart (There Are No Returns)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23701381) (oneshot)  
> [Only By Night](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23673103) (oneshot)  
> [Love Only Matters When We Bleed For It](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23415190) (complete)
> 
> Darkfics
> 
> [if you can't live without me, why aren't you dead yet?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25361551) (WIP)  
> [I've Got A Dark Alley & A Bad Idea (That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25814914) (oneshot)  
> [never bet the devil your head](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24609829) (complete)  
> [slowly therefore surely](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25639642) (oneshot--for now)  
> [Chasm](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24962308) (complete)  
> [In Our Darkest Hour](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24810736) (complete)  
> [Stifle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24724003) (oneshot)  
> [Aggressive Expansion](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26568556) (complete)

**Author's Note:**

> ~~say hi! (or come yell at me)~~  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/naboojakku)  
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/naboojakku/?hl=en)


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